how is it possible for my life to be this fucking painful all the time every day for every fucking minute of my life? how am I even alive still? i didnt even get a chance. I was born into a typical nuclear family but was horribly abused by both parents. got molested, raped, beaten, every horrible thing that could happen to a child happened to me. obv not all at the hands of my parents. but nobody cared either way. my rapist was a woman and i was a man back then so people just brushed it off or told me i was lucky. i finally escaped, thought i made it out and within a year and a half im staring down the barrel of an eviction. i have couches i can crash on but i have nothing. i lost everything. i work a shitty job as a cook that i hate because theres nothing else i could do. i fucking hate everything. i lost the last 2 jobs i had due to random bullshit outside of my control and ate through all of the measly savings i had. im going to be fucking homeless in 2 weeks. ive been wondering if i got raped again by someone else or if i just am thinking about it wrong. dealt a shit hand: trans, autistic, psychotic and bipolar. i have no family and my friends are all starting to hate me because now they cant be all performative lefty mode and actually have to think about the fact that someone they know is homeless so they just turn a blind eye or just start blaming me. they dont even talk to me anymore. i cant get anything from them. i join voice calls and just get ignored. have to pry and pry just to get a word from them. i have one thing, a great friend. shes the only one who gets me. i hate my fucking life.
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>>41484760Bad luck
