>>41489351hugs
>>41489351my life has got kinda fun lately if my life was like it was for the last 3 years beforehand I would have done it but I'm glad I didn't
dream baby dreamawwwwwwwwwwwww dream baby dreamforeverand ever
>>41489351i can feel it coming closernot long now
>>41492365
>>41489351I'd been passively suicidal on and off for what felt like basically forever. I remember the long nights I'd spend awake looking at the ceiling and planning it all out, I remember casually going over the details of my suicide note every day at work for hours, I remember considering suicide as a solution to every single problem I had. I remember thinking it was completely impossible I'd ever feel normal again. But I kept living. I kept going. I hit rock bottom and I bounced back and I pushed through and I got my shit together, even though it hurt so fucking bad every step of the way and I got no recognition for it. I just kept suffering and hurting and fighting and kicking and thrashing and thenfinallyI made it. I'm out. I'm through. I did the completely unthinkable and I came out the other end of all that horrible, traumatizing pain alive and relatively unscathed. and now I can't even really remember what it was like to suffer how I used to. I'm just... fine. Back to normal, more or less, for now.I think you should keep going, anon. Idk how serious you are about dying, i don't even know how serious I was about dying either. But you should keep going. Keep pushing. So you can write something like this for someone else some day.
>>41492521the only way i can be happy is on drugs or alone in a dark room, and that gets boring. i dont want to spend my life alone. there is no pathway to anything actually fulfilling.
>>41492521fucking whatever man
>>41492550Eh, there is. Feels pretty bland and uninspiring to say it but it's true. I hated when people told me shit like "oh it gets better if you just don't give up and really try" but it turns out they were 100% right, so I guess now I'm repeating the same advice. Tho I'm curious, what's wrong?
>>41492596I dont know how else to put it other than I am a subhuman. I dont fit in with other people. If people dont like you, then whats the point in living? My life is just a series of situations where I can see Im making people uncomfortable and then feeling discouraged and isolating myself until I start to feel lonely and try to come up with some way out of it, but there is no way out of it because the problem is me.
How? Helium?What about your stuff such as assets? Will you make a will?
>>41492703Oh yeah, sounds really similar to what I went through not gonna lie. I had a really long period in my life where I just felt intriniscally like an unloveable freak that nobody would ever want to associate with. My first instinct was to become a recluse and withdraw but y'know, that really only made the problem worse because I robbed myself of the connections that would let me figure out what I was doing wrong and fix it, y'know? After I stopped letting the idea that I'm just a subhuman unloveable freak keep me from reaching out to other people, I realized I wasn't actually a freak at all. I was just really lonely and under socialized. I basically learned being social isn't that big of a deal. Yeah you're not always gonna fit in all social groups but there's always a group you're gonna feel welcome in, and there's always people out there just as lonely and awkward as you just looking for the same connection. If you want my advice, I'd consider getting more social. Go to clubs, go to queer meetups, go to support groups. Go where you think you'll find other "freaks" and "weirdos", then make friends with them. Start small, then work your way up. Once you start putting yourself out there it'll only keep getting easier
>>41493062I have more friends these days and while it helps to not be isolated. I still have the same problems of feeling like an alien. I see how other people act, they go on dates, go out with friends all the time, are surrounded by people who like them. I cant have that because Im just not appealing. Like I constantly give people the ick feeling. And they might be nice to me out of politeness or put up with it because they like some other aspects of me. It ultimately drives people away.
>>41489351Soon
>>41493252also this is just one side of things, im almost 30 and ive never worked... i have no education either. i feel totally useless in every dimension of life that matters. it feels like there is no recovery from here.
>>41489351How do you retards always fall for this shit, OP has been making these posts constantly for at least the past year now. They are not commiting suicide just attentionbaiting
>>41489351yeah
>>41493360Welp then I guess that's all the more reason to put yourself out there, y'know? I know it might feel like you've really got nothing going for you in life but you're not even 30 yet, and you've still got a loooot more life to live. At least you aren't 40, or 50, and still feeling like this. Take my advice: Just try. Try to make friends, try to make connections. If you really feel like life is so awful you might as well just give up and die, if you really feel like life is pointless or whatever, you might as well keep trying to make friends. It's a lot less effort than killing yourself, believe me. (as someone who learned the hard way)
personally i just dont feel like living past 30, but please don't anon. you're not like me, you have so much to live for
>>41493606awful advice>>41493638don't lie
>>41493655>don't lieWhy would I lie? There are definitely people I think deserve to die.
