and utter gooner shit. This fucking pedophile ruined my life. I was always obsessed with porn and femaleness since I can remember but when I saw her in latex I self-pathologized transness. Try as I might I'll never be her and for this, I live in sin, I will be some terrible version of her forever. I suspect my Dad is the same. He's very distant and one night I found him saving pictures of naked muscular women to his computer. When I asked him about it he explained how he was doing it because he has a platonic obsession with women's sexuality. I didn't believe him but as time went on I became the exact same way but with trans women.
no man saves tons of naked pictures of women to their computer unless they plan to masturbate to the pictures. trust me. there has not been a case in all of history where this has not been trueyour father lied to you to save faceI believe you may have at least 20 different mental disorders caused by hundreds of instances of trauma. self-medicate with psychedelics and introspect for hours and hope for the best
I tell myself I don't need to transition, 1 as a self-hating catharsis, but 2 so I genuinely believe it and go back to being a man. The physical world could never fulfill my desires. I also believe I'm genuinely evil, I don't deserve to transition. I can't go into the details but there's something I did that attracted a lot of negative attention, anybody who agreed with me was a horrible person and the people that didn't were right. They all moved on, but I didn't because I realized how far behind I was. I used to think I could catch up but I started to merge the two separate things: the horrible thing and my horrible desires as analysis of myself. I don't think I can get past what is wrong with me no matter how hard I try. The world will not accept me when I do the wrong thing. I'm stuck this way. >>41489992>self-medicate with psychedelics and introspect for hours and hope for the bestAnd find what? What actual traumas could I have sustained in life. I haven't even been traumatized that badly. Never been raped, never had sex. Parents beat me once then refused. The biggest trauma is my grandma dying.
>>41489992amazon giantess forcefem>?father son bonding moment?
>>41490739Is it all just jokes to you people? I get it because most of what happens to me is a joke but like still. I wish I didn't have come to this board for validation all the goddamn time.
>>41491213yes
fuck my life bro
>>41489781if its any consolation this motherfucker also fucked me over. this is what i get for jerking off to furry femboy porn and trap doujins as a teenager. envy towards a gooner pornstar that breaks my mind. i guess i just couldnt handle the idea that all those hedonistic situations could be real and that some people get to experience them and i never will because im an ugly moid and not a cute one.
>>41489992I'm a cis woman but I have a huge collection of half-dressed men on my phone that I look at solely to indulge in my own desire to be male. I've never actually masturbates to these images since simply looking at them is enough to trigger that bittersweet feeling I crave.
>>41489781the day you start is the it's too late you sissy faggot. is it that hard to do something with your life? you're only get somewhere if you admit your intrinsic femininity
