My face is my biggest source of dysphoria. I should have transitioned when I came out to my parents, which is when I was 9 years old, but they told them that it was just a phase. Male puberty disfigured me. I've done everything imaginable and my face is still manly. Yes, I've had FFS, and yes, the surgeon did a good job, but there was only so much he could do. He can't completely reasssemble my face. Please don't tell me that I have brainworms or that I'm bdd, my face doesn't pass. It's better than before ffs for sure, but not enough to pass. In fact, I've gotten clocked by people who could only see my face. I would never blame my surgeon because he's an angel and he did everything he was supposed to do, but he is not god. I've tried several therapists and it has been a waste of money and time. I've become a recluse. Therapists told me that I would get over it. It has been 12 fucking years, and it is only becoming worse. How can I accept my face? I'm so angry. I'm furious. All of this could have been prevented if I had been allowed to transition sooner. Makeup should give me joy but it's one of the things I dread the most because it forces me to look at my manly face. Going to the hair salon is also a nightmare because I have to stare at my face. The only thing that has kept me alive is my hate for my enemies. People enjoy seeing us suffering, so that alone prevents me from roping. But it's brutal. I will never ever accept my face. Everything else, the chromosomes, the voice, doesn't give me dysphoria.
YAHHH TRICK!! YAHHH!!!!
>>41495304the trick to letting anything go, is to meditate. And just practice. But also, why are you holding on so tight to your face? its a self sustaining cycle. Think about face, get mad, rinse, repeat. Its the same for people with tinnitus. They hear a ringing, they get anxiety, rinse, repeat. The trick is to realize that its the anxiety that is the problem, not the ringing. Same for your face. Your face isnt the problem, its your reaction. Of course who gives a shit what I say, it wont help you and is just info in the wind, you are the only one who can help yourself
>>41495328what does it mean and what does this have to do with anything?
>>41495378This is not true at all, it's a stupid oversimplification. My face is my identity. My face makes me a vulnerable target. My face hinders me from living a normal life. Is it really hard to imagine?
>>41495397you dont get it, i didnt expect you to, but gg's
>>41495378>who gives a shit what I sayyeah good question mate
>>41495413it's not that I don't get it, what you said is stupid and useless and packaged as intellectual bullshit. It's like telling someone who is burning to not have a reaction to burning. How demented must you be?
>>41495445okay, if u got it, then change your face. do something about it. Sounds like you haven't for 12 years. Keep raging against something you can't change, it sounds like its definitely working for you
>>41495304>I would never blame my surgeon because he's an angel and he did everything he was supposed to do, but he is not god.real>Therapists told me that I would get over it. It has been 12 fucking years, and it is only becoming worse.yeah they only say that because they don't remotely have a fix but they can't admit that because it would damage their authorityI don't have a fix either but I sympathize and I want you to know you're not wrong anon, sometimes you just get dealt a shit hand in life and people telling you you'll get over or get used to it just makes it worselike if your sibling died in a horrible accident and people said "don't be so glum, hell, soon you'll barely even remember you had a brother" you'd beat the shit out of them because that's a completely fucked up thing to say, same thingsucks, my condolences
>>41495480You're a fucking idiot. I've had FFS already, I take exceptional care of my skin, I took makeup lessons. What the fuck are you talking about?
>>41495846Believe it or not, your response made me feel a better, so I appreciate it. There is some power in admitting to yourself that you've been dealt a shitty hand in life, instead of lying to yourself and fueling false hopes. Also, trans women are always under a magnifying glass. People are very unforgiving towards us.
>>41496049i'm glad to hear it, stay strong anon, i hope for the best for you
>>41496049>Also, trans women are always under a magnifying glass. People are very unforgiving towards us.also replied too fast but this is absolutely true, shit just compounds
>>41496202is there any way to talk to you? even if you create a fake email. You don't need to tell me your info.
At least you can fucking afford FFS. I can't. I don't even care about passing anymore, just want to stop looking hideously ugly
>>41495304That deli is near me, I could have saved her ;_;
