I have been cast from transbian communities for being too gay, leftist communities for being too left, rightoid communities for being too based, philosophical communities for being too radical, outcast communities for being too far out. I am the traveler, the outsider, I have vast troves of tales to tell due to my connections to the ontological side of reality.I am unwanted, because the truth is feared. I am reality.
kino
>>41500846great, can I give you a celebratory transbian gock sucking reward?
>>41500881No that sounds rather uhh... sexual? I dont like that idea
>>41500846the truth is that your takes are probably mid as fuck in all those categories and youre just really really annoying and/or abusive
>>41500980OP is office retard so you are correct.
Once upon a time you gooned so fineThrew the hons a dime in your prime, didn't you?People call say 'beware troll, you're bound to fall'You thought they were all kidding youYou used to laugh aboutEverybody that was hanging outNow you don't talk so loudNow you don't seem so proudAbout having to be scrounging your next mealHow does it feel, how does it feel?To be without a homeLike a complete unknown, like a rolling stoneAhh you've gone to the finest schools, alright Miss LonelyBut you know you only used to get juiced in itNobody's ever taught you how to live out on the streetAnd now you're gonna have to get used to it
>>41500846literally me
>>41500846if you're tall & an anarchist I'd give you my virginity right now
>>41503667not op but that's me for the most part
>>41503675waow...im a demsoc shitlib but have been more and more interested in real leftist politics, especially bc all the really smart & pretty girls can quote theory & make really compelling arguments for stuff (like how all statism devolves into fascism) ive never really considered from that pov. plus being tall means someone can sit in your lap which is <3 do u vibe w/ girls who are short & a little stupid? c:
>>41503797>& a little stupid? c:sorry babe but I'm sapiosexual
>>41503827oh that's ok x.x
>>41500846I could have wrote that same thing OP. Fellow based nona.Except I'm not totally alone, I have a bf and a gf. Both secretly plotting to leave me I think, but it's ok. I can take it.
>>41503797>demsoc shitlib but have been more and more interested in real leftist politicsYou'll vote for Bernie again in 2028. Or even Kamala as a "lesser evil". But keep fronting as a "serious leftist"
>>41500846i got ostracised too, however it was over an ex theyfab forcing me to have sex with her before accusing me of rape to distract from her bullshit.
Communities are for people without CPTSD/ some kinda personality disorder. I can mask my bullshit and become beloved anywhere I want basically but eventually I feel completely empty because being a facade of a person winning the fairweather favour of the clique starts to feel completely empty. There's a hole in me. I'm not going to say it can't be filled. Because there are times when I effectively pave over it for a while. Or times when I'm living well enough that the hole is overflowing. But the gap. The space. The hole. The cavity that is there. Always persists. It never heals over. It's just somewhere that something should have been. But was not. Parts were meant to grow there but it's just an absence. And so I don't try to engage with community any more. Cause I know it's not the answer to the hole. And it can on weaker days serve only to make me aware of the hole.
>>41505940I think a lot of them do have some kind of PD in my experience, it's just they have figured out how to game their way into social good graces. None of this lasts, though.
>>41506146We're probably all putting on facades and crashing out then scuttling away to places where its impossible to be ostracised
>>41506155Banking on getting the fuck out of my shithole city. It's made me wanna try to prepare myself mentally so i don't show up in a new place, crash out, and then find myself in the same shitty situation.I try to be hopeful and think about working towards that goal but keep getting fucked up by the loneliness.
>>41500846This is the dog fucker isn't it?
>>41506196I hope it works out for you anon. I'm in a weird position right now where the people who have known me since my last few crashouts are either completely done with me. Or they're right on the cusp of being done with me. But at the same time, I've done like. Loads of work on myself to make it unlikely I'll crashout as hard again. So if I make new friends. I probably won't fuck shit up with them so bad. But also I have very little desire for new friends. Or maybe fear about making them. So I'm just kinda in a weird limbo. It's kinda like in morrowind when you keep playing on a save file after you've completely fucked up the main quest and it gives you that "With this character's death, the thread of prophecy is severed. Restore a saved game to restore the weave of fate, or persist in the doomed world you have created" text. I just feel so attached to the threads of a life I still have. I want to bring them over into a potential new life. But I'm just so stuck not making progress into that new life. Opportunities for connection and community present themselves but then I just kinda dip on them cause I feel like I can forsee all the issues that could arise. I maybe need to just like. Loner max and get back on the grind. That is unironically what i really need to do.
>>41506207yeah, office retard has admitted to fucking dogs
>>41506343That's fucked
>>41506335Fuckin hell dude don't make me sob like that ;3;That analogy is pretty apt, I feel like I started playing an MMO and while everyone is doing meta build shit and hanging out with their guilds that guide them I'm fumbling around by myself making retarded choices and wearing low level armour cuz it looks cool.While I do really admire your ability to be alone and be okay and not crash out, I still think that it's good to put yourself out there and accept a little risk with people. Shit, after a long string of really shitty accusations and drama, I still try. Even if I know it'll end with people "confronting" me about some shit they heard and me hopelessly presenting them with as much evidence as I can to prove my innocence and still avoiding me despite it because why take a chance and lose all your tranny friends, I still go out and try. I refuse to let these motherfuckers win. I want that cunt of a theyfab to rot in hell for what she did to me. I want life, I want friends, I want family. Now if only I could actually be okay with being alone instead of letting it eat me up inside.
>>41506522I'm sorry you had to deal with false accusations like that anon. It's really shit when people go out of their way to life ruin you when they don't get what they want. Best thing you can do is keep trying. We're not meant to be completely alone. I did some regrettable shit over the last few years and really just fucked shit up in my life a lot. I fortunately have a small handful of people who still fuck with me and a gf who I've been steady with for nearly a year. I'm trying my hardest to keep that together and just keep on trying with therapy and self improvement stuff to get better so I don't fuck shit up again. But I'm also realising that it's like the Chinese finger trap thing. The more I fear fucking everything up, the more insecure I am about it all falling apart I am. And that insecurity drives disregulation that drives issues that leads to potential fuck ups. I've only got so much be not afraid in me before I need to be held. I've done so much stuff that's scared me and opened myself up to so much potential rejection and pain this year. And it's done a lot for me. But it's just terrifying. I'm not playing with a full deck of cards. Today I crashed out a bit. That's why I'm here licking my wounds. Tomorrow I'll see what the fallout of it all was. That's why I haven't slept yet. Because to sleep is to allow tomorrow and all of its consequences to begin. But I must soon sleep and succumb to them. Whatever they may be.
>>41506708Thanks anon for the kind words. It's good you're not completely alone and got people around you but yea that precariousness is always such a fucking challenge. Crashouts happen, I hope you can give yourself a bit of grace with that. People who can't see the amount of energy it takes for some of us to just exist and function at a base level can go fuck themselves. It's sad we gotta put in all that effort too while watching people act retarded around us and not face any issues.I hope you rest well, sometimes all we can do is let out a really unsettling laugh and pass the fuck out. I hope you find some peace in the ashes.
How was I supposed to knowThat something wasn't right here?Oh, baby, babyI shouldn't have let you goAnd now you're out of sight, yeahShow me how you want it to beTell me, baby'Cause I need to know now, oh, becauseMy lonelinessIs killing me and II must confessI still believe, still believeWhen I'm not with you I lose my mindGive me a signHit me, baby, one more timeOh, baby, babyThe reason I breathe is youBoy, you got me blindedOh, pretty babyThere's nothing that I wouldn't doIt's not the way I planned itShow me how you want it to beTell me, baby'Cause I need to know now, oh, becauseMy lonelinessIs killing me and II must confessI still believe, still believeWhen I'm not with you I lose my mindGive me a signHit me, baby, one more time
