I thought I was bi and had only ever been in transbian relationship before, but after I got into my first relationship with an actual man I literally can not go back. I'm kinda sad because my dating pool significantly lowered but holy shit only guys can make me feel how I want to feel. Has anyone else had something like this happen?
>>41509403>tumblr in picrel name>transbianchecks out
>>41509403Kinda, but I had the realization in the opposite way. I'm bi, but I've always dated men. I love men, I love how they make me feel, I love how I make them feel, I love how they smell, how they look, I love cock. Unfortunately I got hurt by too many men and rejected by too many for being trans, so I started dating a woman and it was nice in many ways, but so upsetting in others. I never felt so masculine and gross than I have with a woman. With a man I'm always the cute feminine one that is doted on and loved. The cis girl was so tiny and would make all these little comments that were meant to be compliments, but they just ended up hurting me and making me feel like a gross man. And she kept like, out doing me in the emotional insecurity department, so I ended up having to comfort her instead of being comforted. And when I tried to be sexy, she wasn't wowed or excited like men, she was always like ehhhh I'm not in the mood and it deflated me every time. It makes me think of my cis sister. She is bi too, and likes women a lot, but when she dated them she was like, "Look, there's not enough room in a relationship for 2 of me. Someone has to keep things in order, we both can't be needy and crazy." That's how I felt dating a girl. When we were both stable, it was great, but most of the time we both needed the reassurance that can only come from a throbbing cock that says, "I need you right now more than anything in the world".
>>41509486Dating women is hell. Fuck it, dating AFaBs is a nightmare.Everyone wants the other one to maintain the relationship through actual sexual desire, order, and tolerance of childish faults.
>>41509696Sorry, but also true. It's exhausting being the one to keep the relationship stable. It should be both people in an ideal relationship and I've gotten pretty good at supporting the other person. Like I like when men cry and I hold them to my chest, I've always enjoyed being mommy and a safe place. Reassuring them that they're strong and supported and loved and amazing. That works well for men, they just need to recharge every now and then and then they are beaming for weeks. It does not work for a lot of women. It's not just a recharge here and there, it's constant reassuring and recharging. It's sisyphean. There's no room for me to get my recharge and for me to be baby. I have to be mommy while I'm crying looking for a hug.
>>41509739>>41509696God I relate to this so much. It's also specifically painful when it comes to sex. I don't know how it is with males because I never dated one, but with girls, if you don't initiate there's no sex, ever. No matter how much you wait, it seems to be no interest whatsoever, unless I'm the one taking the first steps.
>>41509739At least you're giving or willing to give a nice space for a man to inhabit.We just lose our sense of feeling human touch, become deadened, and turn to ethanol products to feel anything ever again.
>>41509403that's how I'm feeling RN. im in a polycule with 2 women and i love them both, but I had a date with a guy and it was so amazing. women just don't compare to men ig
This is the default for bottom-y transbians that have been on E for long enough.
>>41509801that's kinda just relationships in general, not specifically in regards to sex. if you dont tell your partner your needs or wants how are they going to know?
>>41509884Lmaojustlmaowomen do not care, and they don't want you to bring up destabilizing questions like, "do you actually like me?"
>>41509801Ya that's exhausting. We became basically asexual since we both needed help getting our engines started, but neither was good at starting it. I dunno how to get turned on unless someone is like, "I need my cock in you NOW". It also helped that boys get hard whenever I hug them. >>41509803It's important for men to have a place to recharge. When they're horny they may say degrading things and want to spank you and cum on your face, but once it's out of them all they really want is to be held and told how wonderful they are.
>>41509900Questions like that are going to cause tension no matter what, because it is a pretty intense thing to ask. Coming from someone who has a lot of anxiety about relationships, those kinds of questions aren't going to do you any good. You're either expecting your partner to comfort your insecurity, which creates an unhealthy attachment in the long run. Or you want to blow up the relationship.
>>41509884She knows and acknowledges what I want. I've communicated this in a plethora of ways. She still insists she won't initiate because she doesn't feel like initiating stuff.>>41509944This is exactly where I'm at, and I don't know how to fix it, either
Why women can't be cool? Is it possible to change a woman for better?
>>41510088Women are cool and sexy and fun, but estrogen makes you really insecure and society makes a huge deal of women's attractiveness. Women need to be reassured often that they are pretty and desired or they feel extra terrible because that's the primary measure with which society measures them. It just becomes hard when 2 women are together feeling ugly and neither has the energy to tell the other that she's hot. Words don't carry as much weight as "I need you RIGHT NOW"
>>41510088The easiest women to be in a relationship are the ones who were perved on as teenagers and ended up hypersexual as a coping mechanism. They know they're fucked up so they don't blame you for it, and you never have to initiate sex because they're in sex mode all the time
oh to have a trans gf who's mostly submissive to you but will understand if you're a little down sometimes and not lose respect or attraction for it. it really doesn't take much I think, being made to feel that you're needed, appreciated and loved while cuddling is all I'd need really
>>41509980If talking directly doesn't work, you could suggest couples counseling?
>>41509403>Has anyone else had something like this happen?I have not, but I’m starting to consider dating men.I’m not really attracted to guys, I just want someone who’s vaguely stable and can somewhat do the adulthood thing. I’m not asking for much, but I dated 3 different girls and I felt constantly drained, having to give reassurance all the time, and taking care of them like they were kids.t. transbian
>>41510195I don't think paying someone to be a mediator will help us much, if at all.It'll eventually fix itself, if not, I'll continue to volcel, it's honestly not that big of a deal. Yes, I wish there was more sex to be had, but it's not a dealbreaker.
>>41509403You are not immune to boycrazy
>>41510088We reward this behavior at age 0 and onwards
>>41510172why does she has to be trans tho
>>41511218I could have written>cis m chasershe doesn't strictly have to be, but useless little penis and hrtiddies are veeeery cute and sexyI also feel like the right trans gf would genuinely love you as a man more than many cis women
>>41510113so women are just weak to handle this world and their partners?>>41510138sounds predatory
