I don’t recognize my face in the mirror. I can’t even tell if I used to ever. Maybe when I was fully repressed I didWhat am I even repressing? I doubt it’s gender dysphoria. If it was why now abd not when I was actually truly fully masculinising. And besides I’m too ugly and fat. Nobody wants to be either. But it’s not gender dysphoria.Why do I keep doing my stupid hrt then. Some demented idealism, I want it to be for me or at least I used to want that. I don’t know anymore. I’m so tired.Tired of thinking about this. Tired of knowing I’m nothing like anyone I know who is dysphoric and calls themselves trans. Incredible how different I act and look. Am I even trying? If I was dysphoric wouldn’t I finally try now that I have some space in my life to try to be “my real self”? But there is just comfortable passivity, surrender, and a pervasive laziness that is deeper than anything else.Abd of course there is no such thing as trying. Some people just are and some aren’t.And I’m nothing at all it seems. Pointless.
>>41517586Please stop navel gazing about "gender." It's not going to help your dissociation issues and will actually make them worse.
>>41517586Cute picture though
>>41517671This is true but young women might have some legitimate reasons to be unconfident, while gender navelgazing is just entirely a made-up bullshit excuse to avoid your actual problems and make a different one up instead.
>>41517657I’m not confident you want to help meOr maybe I’m delusionalMaybe you are right, but I don’t know if this issue will ever go away by simply detransitioning. I just wanted to be cute and feminine…what a joke.
>>41517586I feel very similar. It really feels like learning about gender dysphoria was like some sort of cognitohazard to me, since it's so vaguely defined that I can both argue that I'm very dysphoric or not dysphoric at all. I've no clue who I am and what I really want, so I'll be continue being paralyzed into inaction while I agonize over what might be the best course of actions
>>41517915>I’m not confident you want to help meDude just kill yourself. You dont want anything except a fucking pity-party. Kill yourself.
>>41520133Ok
>>41517586I just decided to remain a cis man because I lack an identity and the energy to work on acquiring one. My life will be empty and meaningless, and I hope nobody will care about me so I can peacefully leave whenever I desire
