Ok so when I was young I got traumatized by [redacted], as a result I escaped to porn at a young age to cope with the pain. Occasionally a video gave me a really strange feeling I came to realize was dysphoria. I stopped looking at porn and my libido went down, but whenever I've dug up one of these videos they still have a really strange hold on me. The world goes out of the window and the only thing I can think is "I need to be the woman in this video now" but of course I can't. I know it's fucking disgusting and the pain and embarrassment I get from feeling it and knowing how bad it is swirls into this terrible mixture of shame and horniness and dysphoria. Will hrt get rid of the horrible feeling forever I get and I can boymode forever on estrogen?
>>41524208no it not get rid of that feeling and you cant boymode forever, however you can make that feeling lessen and sometimes leave. while you cant boymode forever eventually you can girlmode. boymoding is just less harmful repping and as we all know repping is impossible and everyone will either rope or troon, it then follows that all boymoders will either rope or girlmode.uh i kinda got distracting idk hrt or die
>>41524208Heroin should do the trick for you.
what were the videos
The same thing happens to me. It just takes over and I feel amazing and perfect during and then after I see that I'm a boy and I get sick
>>41524313I want to be androgynous so boymoding and girlmoding eventually is not particularly a problem for me. >It won't get rid of that feelingThen what's the point in living? I'm trying not to doom about this but genuinely I feel so much in those horrible moments I don't want to have to live in real life outside of them.>>41525112Then I'd just feel like how I do now but about Heroin.>>41525125Too many to say. A lot of the top pornstars like Ella and Natalie. Particularly there's a video of Ella getting gangbanged and latex, one of Natalie getting fisted while in bondage with Mistress Damazonia (never saw the full version though) and one of them together getting forcefeminized by two cis women. Anything public, there's this one video of a girl getting fucked but I can't find it now. A lot of random stuck or humiliation hentai images. >>41525874I burnt my senses so bad on this that when once I cum I immediately start cleaning up. Genuinely fucking awful feeling. Don't think my libido will disappear on hormones but I hope I never masturbate like that ever again.
>>41524208>Will hrt get rid of the horrible feeling forever I get and I can boymode forever on estrogen?Hell yeah, my libido is much more manageable now on HRT
>>41524208>4tranwas reddit not helpful?
>>41526756Try doing heroin once, then force yourself through withdrawal.You'll see that life is a lot better than you think.If you won't hurl yourself out the window on the first week of it.
>>41527254Libido is fine, but I'm specifically referring to this feeling. >>41527267kys
