Hello so I'm still dead in the water on this >>41524208. Today I thought maybe if I put myself in the position of the videos I liked it would get better but it got worse. I took this video of me masturbating in the bathroom and when I looked back at it I was really disgusted. It doesn't feel like a bodily problem anymore, it feels like I legit got infected with a dysphoria for porn and can't turn back. Please tell me someone else has dealt with this before?
>>41533292I suspect that it’s real dysphoria mistaken as a fetish as you noticed the feelings when it related to porn, but any kind of sexual act will be affected by your sex and gender and your comfortability with those things. Basically you’re trying to distract yourself with something that makes you face a different thing that you distract yourself from.HRT won’t magically make the dysphoria disappear, but both it and eventual social transition will reduce it and the difference will feel liberating.
>>41533292>>41533455tldr take your meds, lady
>>41533292i used to rep badly with a bunch of porn too. i was too scared of making a bad decision with my life. when I was fully addicted, i sunk all my desire to be feminine into sexual fantasy as well as blaming the porn for giving me dysphoria in the first place so i could rep more effectively. after I started hrt my libido completely changed and i just don't watch porn anymore, i got more vanilla cause all the fetishes i picked up disappeared, and i could see exactly what i wanted for myself in a relationship. basically the only way to break out of the cycle of disgust is to just take e and you'll pretty quickly know what you want, that's how it worked for me anyway. also you can boymode for a pretty long time if you have to, it sucks but i think it's worth it
>>41533292 not going to read the last thread of mental illness. HRT doesnt stop feelings of dysphoria, it stops the feelings from increasing. reductive surgery can reduce symptoms but will never make you the girl in the image, just a freak. if you can tolerate or reduce the symptoms (if you even have any that aren't rooted in mirrors or envy) dont bother with surgery it wont do anything you imagine.
>>41533455>>41533467>>41534125>>41534211I hate that all of you are correct.>>41534125Doesn't it suck to have those fetishes disappear though? I mean I want to be relatively normal I guess but suddenly becoming vanilla after years of sadist feedback looped neuroses showing me the exact thing I desire sounds almost as fucked as keeping them all in sissymode.
>>41536910>doesn't it suck to have these fetishes removed though?no, you can still appreciate fetishes without the horny. differentiate slop from worthwhile, expand collections if you want to. Imho sex is meant to connect you positively to others. most gays, trannies, and often even straight fuckers dont understand or do this though.>I hate that you are correct. you can hate me all you want but I'd rather no one expect medical miracles or take medicine to fix social problems. neither are good advice. if you have physical symptoms or want less male physical features to arrive then and only then would I ever think transition treatments would have any purpose. you're better off living like kouji shigemoto otherwise.
>>41536910>Doesn't it suck to have those fetishes disappear though?you don't really notice it or care, because in general, i'd much rather fantasise about a guy holding me and kissing my neck then whatever any of the lust-driven bullshit i was watching/thinking before. i assume any deeply ingrained fetishes you have will stay, but if you picked them up from chronic porn abuse like i did, they'll go.the only bad thing about losing them that gnaws at me is the amount of time i wasted on stupid shit instead of just transitioning.i see where you're coming from though, i personally was spooked about losing my angst which i cultivated through years of watching right wing stuff and blackpill content for some reason, which, granted, did decrease, but it was just another way my brain decided to rep
