that’s iti wish i could hold himi wish i had the courage to speak around himmy heart pines for himand i hate myself for these awful gross creepy feelingsi wish i didn’t have work at night so i could be in vc with himbut i wouldn’t even speak around himim such a stupid faggot loseri hate myself for feeling this way about himit’s so creepy and uncouth
every night i fall asleep pretending he has me in his arms every morning i wake up pretending that he’s holding mei just want him to be happyi would take a lifetime of unfulfillment and sadness if it meant his life was permanently on an upward trajectory a life where all of his dreams are achievedand he’s happyhe says he’s happybut im worried he’s not…i would do anything to make him happyi just want him to be happy…
still going huhits been almost 2 years for me it doesnt get easier
>>41547035he's not gay tho
>>41547447Just tell him over text. Rip the bandaid and it either goes forward or it peters out, either way you'll be good.
>>41547505i dont think ill ever be able to stop
>>41547818u will if u risk it just once just be brave once or dont if u cant stand losing him in any form
>>41548007before i do i want to at least talk to him with my voiceit kills me that when in vc i just stay in the mute chat he set up for people too cowardly to talkim just so scared it will turn him off from me potentially when he hears my tranny voice even though im pretty sure he knows im a tranny anyway i just don’t knowi just don’t want to lose him
>>41548073i heard ur voice before i think lol its fine i know i said ive held it back this long but it will explode if u dont do anything about it dont let it get to that point
>>41548319you’ve read my other threads??you really don’t think its that bad?that makes me feel better…maybe it won’t be so bad if I talk to him…but you’re right, i can’t let it just keep simmering, it’s killing meim just so scared though to be honest…
>>41548421yes lol im in a similar situationthese thought loops we put ourselves thru will always come to the worst conclusions that were not worth it that we're not good enoughi dont wanna give u false hope but there were other things about my situation that surprised me u might not expect how well things turn out for u is what im saying
>>41548584thank you for writing this, you really have made me feel better…i really really hope i do end up being surprisedbecause i really do pine for him with all my heart…sooner than later ill get the courage to speak…
>>41548658good luck it could be beautiful just saying nice to give urself a break sometimes
>>41547035>>41547447I just want you to be happyI would do it all to make you happy
