I was considered smarter than people around me
But ofc I became a failure come middle school
Now I’m a uni dropout failure hrt repper

I was considered smart but lazy

I wish I could age gracefully like a woman

>>41584576
A lot don't.

>>41584576
Have you ever looked inside yourself and thought that maybe you are not really trans? That for some reason you adopted this belief of being born in the wrong body as a cope, and it made you feel better so you kept reinforcing that belief that you are trans, until the rest of your brain was rewired to accommodate this belief instead of reality?

>>41584482
yes, very... that turned out great now that im a permaneet with no value to society just leeching and doing nothing. i went from gifted programs to failing everything until dropping out

>>41584627
Is that really much different?

>>41584482
qott: pretty sure they tell everyone that
thankfully i also have the brand of computer autism that makes money without talking to people so not a total failure

>>41584627
I don't think I'm trans, not really. I was trans for a while but didn't feel any better.

>>41584674
If you can accept that you are a man without having the unconscious belief you are a woman then yes you will be happier

>>41584482
QOTT: I was considered smart enough to get good grades in middle school, but those took a nosedive soon after puberty hit and the mental illness became more apparent.

Are we really going to have to cave and troon out like all the jon 40 memes? I really have the repper deathstare everytime I look in the mirror. I am beginning to think I am going to have to troon out, because it may be inevitable I've been repping for 2 years, but the thoughts do come back, and yes 2 years ago I went and saw a doctor for tranny meds, but chickened out after getting the bloodwork done. I just can't stand getting more manly with time.

>>41584897
After 5 years im starting to think its inevitable, but im not strong enough to act on it.

Hey, I've an idea! What about just being really feminine, but staying a dude, and not taking hormones or thinking you need to "become" a woman to be happy in life?
Why not just let yourself act WAY more feminine as a dude - since clearly that would make you happy?

if you werent abused as a child and have no cptsd AND ont see yourself as female woman then you are fake

>>41584897
The farthest I'd ever go is permamanmoding or becoming a modern day eunuch. It helps when you completely give up after realizing you've missed your chance or never had one, and any small consolation now wouldn't be worth the trouble. If I ever loose all remaining shame and start honmoding, I expect one of you to mercy kill me on the spot.

>>41584993
I would've if I was single, I have a GF, and she was supportive when I went to the doc, but she kept talking about me trooning out too much, and there's something weird about someone being there every step of the way for an end result that might horrify them, like I just want to be isolated in a cocoon, and see what happens. But dude even this fucking 40yo manmoder told me he doesn't regret taking it, and I'm pretty sure the blanchard faggot even said taking the trannymeds was a valid solution to helping mental faggots like us. The other thing is, I'm losing a bit of my hair, and I already want to get my facial hair removed, but if I do that without tranny meds I'll have to keep going in on the regular because results won't last, and that point what's the point. Women already tell me I look like a tranny on the internet, I probably get treated like a tranny already without knowing it, trannies gravitate to me at fighting game tournaments, I should just fucking get this over with while I'm still in my fucking late 20s before I cave at like 35, but it's all so much more worse.

>>41585242
that's valid

>>41584482
>Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?
Yes, but I burnt out after puberty started. Started disassociating and getting bullied pretty badly for being, acting, hell, wearing clothes, femininely. Eventually I adapted by being a bitter, mean, and angry person that would throw a punch at being heckled, which stopped that kind of treated and made me suitably male enough to fit in. However I never could really regain any of my passion for academics so I just cruised through as the B-student who aced most tests but flaked on homework and such.

>>41584482
take your HRT, retards

>>41585387
Yeah I would've if I was single too but now i have a girl that needs to be sexually pleased and needs a man of the house. Before I met her I had a rule that I would lose my virginity first to prove I wasn't a failed male. Now I've succeeded too much. I also suspect everyone is treating me like a troon/knows

>>41585070
Yeah that would be a great fucking idea, except as the days go by I look more like a man instead of a twink which a twink is feminine. Look at boy george nigga, what's worse being a fucking tranny, or a bald faggot feminine faggot with a beard. I think the latter is much much worse. Plus trannies do seem to age slower, I've seen it on this board, they lock down their apperance even roll it back a few years once they start the tranny meds, and that shit holds well into their 30s. For normal twinks it's over at 25. idgaf what anyone says I've spent time in femboy spaces it's a fact after that point the femboys quit showing their faces.

>>41585413
My mom keeps getting on my ass about why I never grow out my facial hair, and I just told her it's because I have better skin now, and I want to enjoy it lmao. Women are like actual hawks in enforcing gender norms if they are conservative. I think my parents thought I was a faggot, but boy are they in for worse when they find out I'm a tranny.

>>41585404
what's the point? I'll need ffs

>>41585413
exactly dude if I can't get it up and give her dick game, or if I look too feminine/uncanny, or I knock myself out the goldielocks zone for her type I can tell it's over. Then you are basically also still forced to act like a man. Honestly maybe I can just mentally do like the hrt femboy cope.

>>41585404
Please just hold me down and inject me with estrogen.

>>41585415
stop worrying about how you look, and let yourself ACT more feminine

>>41584482
>Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?
Yeah

>>41585404
Sure i just need some money lol

I want to force a repper bf to transition and feel obliged to do the same myself so as to not be hypocritical

>>41585575
Sexist

>>41584482
I learned how to read at a younger age than most and memorized countries and their capitals as a kid, but beyond that, no, not really
I feel like I'm treated like a low-functioning autist by most

File: wait-a-minute.gif (101 KB, 608x640)

101 KB GIF

if you are taking hrt or considering taking hrt you are not a fuckin repressor

>>41585644
>if you're not taking hrt you aren't a repper
retard much?

>>41585540
do you think I don't already act like a fruit cake?

>>41585644
we're all spiritually trannies here dipshit, there's no fucking difference, we all are agp or hsts, and that is a fact. We just haven't trooned yet. Yes anon, you are already a tranny.

if you act feminine or have long hair you aren't a repper

>>41585691
Why in the fuck would even not allow yourself that, you must really hate yourself, you can definitely get away with that in society.

if you bottom you're not repressing
go out, impregnate women, raise strong sons and then you can be a repper

File: sleep nekojiru.png (138 KB, 469x384)

138 KB PNG

>>41584482
>QOTT: Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?
Fuck no. My parents encouraged me and said I was smart but ever since I could think I knew I was just a loser and I've never been proven wrong on that.

>>41585691
I honestly can't accept acting feminine. It would be too much.
I've been trans and presenting but I could never cross that hurdle. I didn't dance at clubs or use any delicate gestures or take cute selfies. I guess it's an internal admission you're a woman and I couldn't accept that.

>>41584482
yes school asked to test me for gate program, idk if I failed the test, or if my parents said I couldn't join the program. That was in the first grade.

>>41584627
I know for a fact that this is what has happened to me. It has completely erased my old sense of self, and made life a living nightmare, but I know for a fact that at the core of it all is just a recursive thought loop reinforcing itself and overwriting everything it can. I'm currently trying everything in my power to stop it

>>41584627
cope for what, I went down the tranny rabbit hole after I went through a 3 year period of avoiding looking at my face in the light. I was on a roadtrip with some friends, so I couldn't shave because of the long drive, and I saw myself with stubble, and felt so bad I shut down. Then that lead to question why that bothered me so much, and why do I try to look feminine, etc. I'll meet you in the middle and say this, I am a VERY feminine man. Enough that I have these tranny thoughts.

>>41585786
I basically act like an italian, hand gestures, emotional, is that feminine? Do the fag wrist thing a lot.

>>41584482
>QOTT
Yes, I am 19 and have a master's degree as well as multiple awards by local and international organizations. I spent all of my days at home wanking to tranny porn. Can't transition because I don't want to disappoint my family (and I wouldn't pass anyway, it's too late).

>>41585691
I still can't take estrogen im repper now?

>>41584482
>QOTT: Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?
I guess I was? Was top of my class through most of elementary/middle/high school, graduated top of my class from HS, was offered to start studying at uni while in my final years of HS. Turned it down because I was working on some crypto algorithmic trading stuff I had since I was 15 or so. Was one of the best in the world in a pretty niche market which allowed me to retire when I was 19, never went to uni after. Now I just sit at home and never talk to anyone or go outside and can't remember what I did last week due to constant dissociation. hope I find the courage to rope soon and can leave the money to my family.

>>41585916
idk I've never met an Italian. I suppose there's a masculine and feminine way of doing it
I feel a need to stoically minimise movement to utilitarianism

>>41585644
that's repperchads we are all jon 40ing together. I have to be a bald man in a dress, you all have to go down with me.

>>41584576
same
>>41584587
true
nobody does really
except for personality. a good personality makes a wrinkled woman (or man) look mighty fine.

>>41585786
but if you saw yourself as a woman you would let yourself act that way, right?
so why not act that way now, since that's how, ideally you would want to act?
>admission you're a woman
feminine men exist

>>41586015
What is your point man, why do you not want us taking estrogen? Vast chunk of us have been feminine since childhood. Did you get too existential with the line of thought that trans women are women. I don't agree with that, I think I am just a feminine man. I still want to take estrogen though.

>>41586015
I'm not a woman, I'm not going to act like one

>>41586069
feminine men can act feminine

>>41586055
it suppresses your nature
its ok to have masculine and feminine traits in the same body!

>>41584482
Yes, but being gifted is more fake than my masculinity and more gay than me.

>>41586078
I'm not some zesty fag lol good for you but that shit is as gross as John 50 crossdressers to me. That isn't me

>>41585844
You and like 90% of all other trannies. It happens to the best of us.

>>41585644
>or considering taking hrt you are not a fuckin repressor
That's stupid, you're still repressing until you actually press the plunger and inject the E.

>>41585706
>you can definitely get away with that in society.
Not if you already have the AGP autist phenotype, long hair just made me look like an ugly tranny, even without HRT.

>>41586239
Same, including having people accuse me of being a tranny in public.

>>41586119
become a zesty fag
>that shit is as gross
unlearn those beliefs

File: 1762257230082666.jpg (53 KB, 1024x581)

53 KB JPG

I kept my long hair from being trans I just pivoted to an unkempt male style. I've never received any comments tbhon

>just act like a woman bro there's no reason men can't act like women
just take your hrt and transition at that point, why the fuck are you repressing if you're free to act like a woman? being a man sucks but I can't be anything else

I'm self aware enough not to transition! Imagine what people would say!
>said twirling my hand in the air to illustrate my lispy annunciation of every word with the other resting on my hip

>>41586304
The whole 'feminine man' thing is gincel's spam, he doesn't get having GD or being trans as a concept. He has no empathy. His entire engagement is that he's upset being trans stops you from being in his strike zone, so he says stupid shit like that and starts to rant about gay male fertility all over the board. The only thing you can do is ignore him, attempts to explain the idea that no, 'being feminine' isn't what you want, being a woman is, will just bounce off.

being a fag is fun what's everyone's favorite carly rae song
>>41586332
idk why people keep responding to him

>>41586248
Nightmare fuel, never really got comments or accusations thankfully. It was mostly just staring and people giving me weird looks like they knew what was up, which disappeared after I cut my hair short.

>>41586408
I live in a highly conservative area surrounded by ghetto fauna so non-conformity is not only more quickly spotted, but the ones spotting it have far less of a filter or self-restraint in drawing conclusions from it.

>>41586408
I would tie my hair up and tight but got stares and comments when I still had bangs after doing so
I don't even get comments if I have it down now that my front is long enough to part to the side. I do have a balding five head now though

>>41586332
>gay male fertility
topkek

>>41586170
I'm definitely not trans, and thus also not a repper. I'm fully aware this is all just a cope for me and that my situation is nothing akin to the severity of actual repping.

File: gate program.jpg (161 KB, 999x999)

161 KB JPG

>>41584482
>QOTT: Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?

>>41587196
Yeah the psychic lobotomy program, I remember that.

I've come up with a new cope to fend off ripping my large intestine out: my dad is good looking in his middle age and my mom is extremely not. Being attractive is the only thing that matters in this world, far more than being yourself, and I'm simply taking the better path based on my heritage. 25 is way too late anyway and I'm just gonna do better in the next life.

I need to drink so bad

>>41587196
the pinkish liquid in the cups almost looks kinda familiar and I don't know why
spooky

Yoyo peeps. So I feel as though I want to aim for a physique that lets me indulge some form of gender affirmation for both sides of my silly hetroleaning life.
I think this will be achievable by slimming down dramatically and focusing on leg exercises - specifically going after my glutes.
I feel like the ultimate form really is a pear shaped dude. Slim guy with a fat ass and wide hips.
Is this attainable? I'm gonna try and achieve it anyway, giving myself 3 years to do it.

>>41590103
Theoretically yeah, but it'll be harder without feminine fat distribution.

>>41589845
what the fuuuuuuuck me too

>>41585691
>act feminine
there are degrees of it. not manspreading much or not walking like someone kicked you in nuts is just not being tryhard wannabe thug/tough. being fluid in movement and expressive is quite normal but most men dont do it. being flamer is performative femininity. i dont see point in acting like chimp-ronot-stoic thing.
>have long hair
oh come on, thats silly. people just think i am metalhead or something.

>>41589845
>>41590145
yeah, that was the special girl juice they'd only give to female students but you could get it if you asked
I would ask for it every lunch

God made me male because he knew I would be wretched

God made me male because He knew I could only be happy if I was a girl, if I was a woman

God made me male, so that in spite of having a path to a good life, that path would only have worked if I weren't an ugly, disgusting, effeminate homosexual

God made me male because He knew I wouldn't ever deserve to be happy

I'm not sure if I believe in Him anymore, but still, I think I half-believe this

Had a smaller buttgasm, couldn't get the big one today. Wish I had a pussy so much it's unreal.

>>41584482
>QOTT: Were you considered "gifted" as a kid?
Up until like 4th grade yeah. Then when I became more and more depressed, I just couldn't give two fucks about studying the subjects I hated. Despite that I still managed to ace the tests in the subjects I liked even without studying up until the end of HS.
Went to uni for one and a half year then I dropped off because I got an offer in a niche field which I enjoy working in and it pays much better than what kinds of jobs I could get with the degree I would have received.

File: 1762296280568724.jpg (83 KB, 960x900)

83 KB JPG

I only masturbate with my dick because it's fast and compartmentalised. I would only do anal if I was comfortable with myself tbhon

>>41591128
i dont masturbate at all i cant look at the foreign dick unfortunately on me its disgusting

>>41590814
chat is this real

>>41591485
Why are you repressing go join the local polycule they will love you

Does society accept feminine men in your country?

File: 1762416254959651.jpg (40 KB, 700x687)

40 KB JPG

>>41585644
>>41585691
i take hrt and have long hair

>>41591593
im not, im taking e but realistically im hrtrepping... i dont have any plans to come out irl to anyone or change gender since i just cant look correctly so im here

>>41591611
only if rich or famous

>>41591864
that's not really accepting them then since the money let's them do things that are otherwise unacceptable

>>41591873
Yeah

File: 1761623097223972.jpg (1.47 MB, 1290x2019)

1.47 MB JPG

>>41591611
>>41591873
The consciousness of the 'orthodox'. They essentially hate, too, for the most part. But when it's a high-ranking position. Or when the parents have a high-ranking position. That's like okay. Because we all 'sinners'. It's simply harder for them to do harm. Idk maybe I just live in a city where lot of religious organisations. And most of them orthodox christian or protestant.

>>41584482
I pretty much still am considered gifted at art, I was drawing in the canteen of my training course building and one of the course coordinators was super impressed at my drawings which was nice. I mostly draw girls and weird creatures. But I sucked academically at everything else.

>>41592028
its kinda sad seeing alex consani become more and more clocky and masculine.

>>41589845
>>41590145
>>41590456

Has any /x/ schizo done a rabbit hole on the fluoride smoothie and latent transgenderism connection? It should be researched. Supposedly the intent of the program is to spiritually neuter certain segments of the population, most Gate Kids went on to experience burnout and mental illness in adulthood maybe the trans psy op is a part of that.

>>41593435
Nah I had tranny thoughts BEFORE they fed me the pink juice.

File: 4738db66b782f0eea3ee55767(...).jpg (81 KB, 828x1117)

81 KB JPG

>>41593435
its way more likely that men are just alienated and don't have as clear as a role in society and are being outperformed by women.

>>41584627
i think because i used porn to cope with negative feelings so much and that encourages thinking of other people as objects and comparing your body to others you do begin to think "if only i looked different then id be happy" and then if you get deranged enough you eventually are lead to either roiding or trooning

>>41591611
they fucking hate us

>>41591611
I don't know, I've seen one gay couple who were feminine and they could've been tourists.
When I was trans I had men obviously hit on me but at the time I didn't even process it because I was in a liminal stage of leaving boy/manmoding. Gay men are really just relegated to a single gay bar here and I'd presume someone would respond with hostility if you implied they might be gay.
So obviously feminine behaviour isn't common but I'm not sure anyone would care either

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

I still blame the hons of the 2010s for flying too close to the sun on the "im a real woman treat me that way no matter how much I don't pass" shit. If we started with the incurable mental illness angle at first maybe we'd have sympathy instead of hate

>>41594185
I hate those cunts because we could have had a drug to actually get rid of gender dysphoria by now. I'd take fucking electroshock therapy at this point. But they went all in on the 'everyone is valid!!1!' shit and now I've got to suffer in silence because apparently this is my identity and not a severe mental illness.

>>41594185
Anon, the people who hate us hate us because they think we violate the holy will of Jesus, no amount of logic or even appeasement can bridge that gap.

Crossdressing I'm very androgynous looking, and actually I think I like it. I look cute, but also like I could beat you up, and that's nice. Without a hoody over my tshirt though I am built like the joker in a nurse outfit lol.

>>41594318
not anon but that doesnt matter, yes some people will hate us no matter what but a large portion of people doesnt actively hate us but just dislikes us because of that

Is there anti fem hypno?

File: 1000017655.webm (3.52 MB, 1080x1618)

3.52 MB WEBM

>YWN look like her
Why even live?

>>41594318
I consider myself a Christian and its crazy to me how many people base their hatred off of the Bible when the whole point of the religion is forgiveness. Especially when their hate is based on old estimate doctrine
I still think the hate wouldnt be as strong if every contrarian chud didn't decide to be a based catholic in the 2020s

File: 1762341541029920.webm (3.91 MB, 604x1080)

3.91 MB WEBM

>>41594544

Another day another unsolicited rant from my online friends about how much they hate trannies.

>>41594544
you people are weird I just wanna look like the weird semi-goth chick from the breakfast club

I just want to be myself but female.

>>41594730
Why are you friends with transphobes? Man, even if you weren't trans that's nasty

Here to just say I will never be a woman and none of you will be either and that is ok :)

>>41594740
I just wanna be a mire beautiful and innocent version of myself

>>41594786
Being transphobic was a cope for a while and a vent for my self-loathing. The truth is though that I fell in with this group through another hobby and have just sort of stuck with them even as they all got really political and I slowly came to terms with being a repper. So I've sort've outgrown it, but I'm bad at cutting people off, especially since I can't actually give them an explanation as to why, since that'd involve telling them I'm a tranny and dealing with the shame of that.

I will never be a woman, and that's not okay.

>>41594871
Well bro why not just accept that we are guys and its just better to live as one objectively, learn how to be at peace with just being a man

>>41594884
I fucking hate you, gincel.

>>41594882
It is actually, you just need to tough it out and you wont even think about it, I am not even trans or a repper, I will always be a cis man and thats great, men are objectively the best

>>41594887
Just start taking roids bro things will be better and everyone will respect you and you won't need to be a freak in public :)

I mean there might be urges but its no big deal and it can be managed why ruin your life right

Holy fuck I wish I was dead I once more seen my side profile and I look exactly like a happy merchant. >Giant hooked nose and protruding chin.
Omg why guy who broke my nose couldn't just punch it down into my brainstem ahahhaha
I was never even a twink because of this. Literally life ended at 13.
It's so obvious why I never had friends since then.
Hope I will get drafted next year and could shot my face off with an AK-74.
Lenin Bless Russland for a mandatory conscription for all male subhumans

File: 5935d9861e8757415582b6369(...).gif (1.27 MB, 480x318)

1.27 MB GIF

>>41594740
ok nobody cares pick me bitch

>>41594544
is this a tranny

>>41594893
>I am not even trans or a repper
yeah you can tell

>>41595669
You can try and be funny about it but it is just true, I might have some urges, but yeah it is nothing major and it shouldn't ruin your life

Tldr is I am not really a repper

>>41594544
Any cisoid who goes around like this should be forced to work a manual labour job until they're as bulky and manly as me.

File: 1759415386191250.jpg (1.29 MB, 3500x2648)

1.29 MB JPG

Why do people 'change gender' in response to these feelings? Particularly AGP? Once the novelty of looking pretty fades you're stuck with a useless body and you've ostracised yourself from every relationship you have

>>41584482
>QOTT
nope I was just a trouble autistic fuck growing up and I didn't chill the fuck out till like around almost to the end of highschool

>>41595639
no
https://www.instagram.com/dankathetraveller/?hl=en

File: fujino.jpg (737 KB, 1080x1208)

737 KB JPG

I am a terrible person. The worst of the worst. I had everything handed to me in a silver platter, and I still managed to ruin everything, all because I was the one receiving the things. If someone else were in my shoes they'd do so much better at everything.
I ruined my grades back in high school because I got lazy, and I'm still not in college because I have no discipline to actually put in effort at anything I do, all that I have ever produced has been half-assed.
I ruined the few (online) friendships I had because I'm a bpdemon and I constantly threatened to kill myself for a speck of attention, and I was just mean and rude for no reason. I have no idea how they endured 4 years of that. They were the only people that actually understood me for once, even if we actually never met irl.
I'm now stuck with tranny thoughts because I used the internet too much at an impressionable age. Pandora's box can never be closed again, the childhood fascination with gender bender manga having now spiraled out of control and turned into something absolutely hideous.
I'm a burden to everyone that has to deal with me, and that's not even the self-hate talking. I'm tired. I would be in any place or situation, really. I wasn't meant to exist.

How do I kill myself properly? I don't have guns or dangerous meds, but I do have a sturdy belt and a doorknob, is that good enough?

>>41596528
Meh let it ride. Either troon out or move to some remote state and work at walmart

>>41596336
>ostracised yourself from every relationship you have

Are you in relationship now or what?

File: 1762454927442959.jpg (100 KB, 1042x950)

100 KB JPG

>>41596528
>>41596844
after typing that out i feel a lot better. i think i need a journal or something

>>41596336
Unfortunately true

i'm going to cross dress and suck a dick tomorrow night
that's my repper cope

>>41597831
feels terrible because you just end up feeling like a faggot and dirty afterwards, you arent "supposed" to be doing it so i always feel gross and like im forcing something that isnt really me.

>>41596336
for me its more the pain of what i am than the longing for what im not. i dont care about being a woman or being pretty i just hate being an uggo man.

>>41597831
Hope you post some pictures here

I am always flip flopping with I am trans/genderfluid and then I look at the obvious facts and tell myself that I wouldn't pass due to being really masculine looking and other factors though I almost in my mid 20s still vexes me and I have to accept it and to move on.

>>41597831
how do you even begin to be vulnerable enough to do something like that wtf. I can't even look in the mirror when I'm cding.

im 28, feels like my age is getting too serious now.

i still feel like a kid and ive wanted to die since i was 11. i have no life experiences, i feel seperated from myself. like everyone else got the handbook on how to live and i just showed up here as a stranger to myself and im supposed to start acting but i dont know how to act and everyone can tell im a bad actor no matter what i do

File: __thorns_arknights_drawn_(...).jpg (115 KB, 891x1269)

115 KB JPG

TURN ME INTO A HOT ANIME GIRL OR TURN ME INTO A CORPSE

>>41599539
I wish I could

Is anyone else here also having trouble sleeping, eating, or even performing vital functions properly? Or everyone just horny or bored?

The simple truth is that if I was trans I would have done something about it a long time ago especially after I discovered this board in 2017 and ordered HRT in 2018. Nobody waffles around it for this long, imagine if a gay man had to spend that long looking at images of naked men to make sure he was really gay. I'm just a retard who got psy-opped.
>captcha: JDMVP (godly trump roll)

>>41584897
I'll just become an public hero instead.

>>41598986
are you on hrt yet?

>>41590552
somebodies gotta keep the lights on in heaven, anon.

>>41598986
I'm also a humunculus, maybe the only thing we can really do is find a master of some kind to tell us how to live, idk.

>>41584482
my last shred of dignity is that ive never b*ttomed for anyone and allowed myself to be degraded to such an extent. i will take that to the grave

File: __rin_blue_archive_drawn_(...).png (961 KB, 580x1271)

961 KB PNG

life is not worth living unless im a hot anime girl

>>41600000
yeah, I'm detrans so I know I'm not. Hons don't go back to repping because they don't pass, right? I don't have that euphoria or at least not enough to be truly trans. I just have a wish to be a woman but it's like most men would press a button to become one of given the chance right? It doesn't make them trans. I was just confused about that.

I think we all need to just accept that we will never be women so why even indulge this kind of thing?

>>41601493
I mean, who's indulging? You can't escape the longing

>>41601506
I can, the longing has been there for a while even when I was like 8 and it doesn't bleed into my every day life so it is not a big deal

>>41601506
I wish I could.

>>41601621
You're posting here and want to be bent over and called a good girl bro

>>41601685
I dont though I don't see how you are getting that, I am saying that whatever this is, is easy to overcome

I am posting here to get people off the ledge man

>>41601685
Also needs to be added that this is just projection too

>>41601712
just post cute women and hons then

>>41601733
I mean maybe but its more important to say we will never be women

>>41601712
push me off please

File: __ev_original_drawn_by_sp(...).jpg (113 KB, 850x850)

113 KB JPG

i want to be a hot anime girl and have comfy anime life

>>41601759
No you are a man like me

beating reppers until they transition

File: 1000017671.png (276 KB, 720x1299)

276 KB PNG

Jesus Christ someone hijacked my Reddit account and is posting nudes to tomboy reddits. It's like someone knows I'm an agp repper and is taunting me. All these men thinking I'm some hot tomboy is turning me on ;-;

>>41602195
I am not a repper though as I explained above :)

File: 1690700713063121.jpg (27 KB, 480x409)

27 KB JPG

I just wanna be cute is that so much to ask

>>41597228
I do have a partner yes but Im referring to all relationships, friends, mentors, work colleagues, everything inbetween. Trooning effectively sabotages them all. You effectively must befriend deranged commies because no other friend group will accept you.

>>41602242
To add to what I said, there is no need to ever throw your life away over a lingering though, it is important to just affirm that we are not women

>>41602226
Its pretty hot but it makes me appreciate how exhausting it is for women. Dealing with that every day for years must be tiring. My theory is mtf = symptom of too little attention early on, ftm = symptom of too much attention too early

Just try and stop indulging this kind of thing

what guns do you own as self-defense tools? :p

>>41602242
even still

>>41602476
Even still what?

Like I said ruining my life over some stray thoughts does not sound appealing

>>41602604
True, but what sort of stuff will you do to alleviate the feelings that come with it?

>>41602672
Just focus on other things I have been living with this since I was a really young kid, maybe getting jacked will help, there is no other alternative

>>41602688
Dont misread me, not trying to push you into a corner, just comparing how others cope. Do you crossdress occasionally? I find it helps as I like it but realise the ritual of looking feminine every day would be near impossible. Exercise definitely helps keep the feelings in check, I cant speak for lifting tho.

>>41602721
I have crossdressed before like 2 times but I haven't done it in a year because its not really a good thing to enable, so I dont have something specific I just go about my life and I am working out anyway now to get bigger

That was also more due to an urge I am not even really a repper

File: 1758381393350212.png (327 KB, 712x780)

327 KB PNG

>do this
>do that
that's how u become john 50

>>41602813
Who was john 50?

>>41602740
Going the polar opposite way is doomed for failure, and i feel like your heart isn't in it. i feel like you are here to get someone to try and pinkpill you

>>41602855
I dont think it is doomed for failure at all and being a man just makes more sense at the end of the day, and I seriously doubt anyone can pinkpill me, it really is just something I can and do live with

And once I go the polar opposite way I am sure it will open allot of other decent externalities, like what other options are there? I am not a girl

>>41602596
beat until you transition

The only thing I don't like is that talking about this is only limited to one thread that gets engaged with every 20 minutes lol then it stops

>>41602871
It doesn't need to be as binary as man = jacked guy and woman = teehee silly weak girl who wears dresses, there's room for nuance. Do what you want but trying to reach impossible standards and black and white thinking might be part of the issue. Anyway Im wasting my breath because its clear what you really want, but Im being a hypocrite because why else would i be on the lgbt board? Genuinely - good luck whatever path you pursue

I just need a hrt repper bf to crossdress in private with. I can cope with that much and maybe we'll be cute transbians if ffs is enough to salvage us

>>41602922
Well I won't transition like I explained already it just wouldn't even make sense, I am just obviously meant to be a man

>>41602926
Well no I am open to hearing what you have to say, what do I really want?

>>41602934
that's why I would beat you

I unironically used to have this mindset as justification for repping as a now mtf. Plenty of ftms or femreppers would love to have my life, is what I thought.

>>41602945
Lol well it wouldn't work anyway at the end of the day right, things are basically set rn anyway

File: yvgnnfa6drzf1.jpg (67 KB, 900x900)

67 KB JPG

>>41602947
Forgot to attach pic

>>41602947
I am not even a repper and there is not even a chance to transition so I should just figure out how to move forward

I am a guy at the end of the day and I always will be and sure its not all a binary but its just better to conform to something like that in my opinion

>>41602926
And yeah hopefully you don't go away now I enjoy talking to you :)

It is good to at least talk about it, it can make me find some peace with it

>>41603044
Yeah, just don't talk to trannies about it because they'll take offense and groom you

I wish I was a cute mtf grooming men

>>41603051
I mean they can try, it is good to hear from them too

>>41602990
>>41602943
I think the idea of transitioning is very appealing to you but circumstances make it near impossible and there is no network in place for you. You shouldn't need pressured to go one way or another but it might be beneficial to talk to someone to at least offload your feelings and go from there. If you'd really like to talk you could let me know your discord.

>>41603082
I would need to make an alt but sure, and I dont think I necessarily want that

>>41602947
but i detest ftms and the grass really is greener on the other side so their thoughts are worthless to me

>>41603082
bigcheese02551

>>41598109
i guess my experience is the opposite from yours. when i wear a shirt and tie at work i feel like i'm forcing something that isn't really me. i hate it. but wearing a wig, makeup, tights, etc. i just feel like a retarded faggot, which is basically what i really am
>>41598563
i did post a pic here last time i cross dressed about a month ago. someone posted it on one of the tranny subreddits so i probably won't do that again
>>41598920
there is some anxiety and i was shaking with nerves the first time i met up with a guy, but i guess the desire to coom is powerful enough to overcome all anxieties. i used to hate looking in mirrors too but learning to do makeup helped a lot with that. you've gotta look in the mirror if you want to put your makeup on

>>41603145
Anyone can add me btw, its really a shame when this thread dies down

File: longing.webm (2.77 MB, 720x1280)

2.77 MB WEBM

Guess it's time to goon to some forcefem ai chatbots

>>41604276
>mfw I don't transition because of my suborbitals

>>41604382
*supraorbital

>>41604276
Yeah you just need to not indulge in that man, we all just need to man up

>>41604597
What does that actually mean

>>41604631
That we need to accept being men and the more we enable this kind of thing the worse it will be in the long run

>>41604641
I do accept being a man. Why is that contradictory to jerking off to unconventional, paraphllic things?

>>41604684
I mean do you want to transition at all?

>>41604641
Not how that works, John.

>>41604731
I mean speaking personally it is just not a good thing to feed an urge that will only get stronger if you indulge it, I am not even a repper I just need to ignore that kind of thing

>>41604782
Speaking personally as a repper, the longing of it grows stronger as time goes on whether I engage it or not. Engagement just provides a kind of temporary relief or distraction. Reading about being/becoming a girl, telling people online I am and interacting with them thus, stuff like that. In the short term, at least, it feels nice. There are times when I don't think about it for a long while because I'm distracted by something, but that has little to do with how much I engage it or not, and more with what's available to engage with. So no, 'just accepting' doesn't stop it, and not engaging doesn't stop it, the most you can do really if you want to keep repping is distract yourself, but that's also how you get to your John50 years and suddenly feel all your restraint crashing down on you. When there's no more distractions, or the distractions don't work. That's the unfortunate reality of it.

>>41604917
Well I said it before but I will again I have had these thoughts for a long time ,as young as 6, and it lingered ever since and just because of that I feel like it stuck, I made peace with the fact that I won't be a woman and I will always be a man and it would just make more sense to have a normal life when I can control these urge. It is a small part of my life so why allow it to ruin me? If I take steroids and stop fixating on it then I am sure I will just kill that part of me

Why think about something that will never happen, I need to just confirm to myself that I will always be a man and it is adapt or die and then these urges become easy to manage and it doesnt ruin my life and the life of people around me

File: IMG_20251106_010733.jpg (104 KB, 732x506)

104 KB JPG

>>41604996
Let's rate you are MAn or not according to your physical abilities aka waight and height

>>41604917
But yeah I do appreciate the perspective though it is just a shame this thread dies so quickly

>>41605126
Well I will just always be one no matter what which is something I need to accept

>>41605150
Being manlet sucks ya know?
Maybe it's just me but dysphoria never ever over actually. I think if I'd have bigger body people treat me more like actual person (man) and not the creature.

>>41602195
need that
>>41604917
>that's also how you get to your John50 years and suddenly feel all your restraint crashing down on you.
I know this is wishful thinking but surely there are people out there who've been able to keep up the restraint their whole lives. I doubt if I managed to make it to my deathbed repping that I'd start talking shit then about how I've felt like I'm just pretending this whole time. you're only going to be aware of older reppers who end up john50ing and not the ones for whom it never reaches that point, and whenever I'm able to be dissociated for long periods I genuinely forget I thought I was trans

If you cling to some really small part of yourself and fixate on it then it could consume you, I am not a repper and yeah I can manage anything that I might feel as well, some people just need to be told there are no other options

>>41605126
This picture partly shows why some people are more successful and all that. And why there are so many hons. Whom everyone hates so much.

>>41605271
And yeah I have been able to restrain myself for more than a decade since I was 6 lol I am sure I can do it for longer

File: F2Xol8BWEAAN3Oq.jpg (400 KB, 2000x2500)

400 KB JPG

>>41604700
no. unless i could literally be transplanted into a female body like a sci fi movie i would not do hrt and have shitty plastic surgery to become a "woman"

>>41605375
Yeah I get it honestly, but it is for the best just to get through it and accept it to find some kind of peace

>>41605375
Relatable. It's hot girl or bust for me. Being a hugboxxed twinkhon is a fate worse than death.

Artificial bodies Akin to signalis will be real in 2 weeks. Trvst. The. Plan.

i've had enough of the defeatism in this board. we need to dedicate ourselves to UNLOCKING THE TECHNOLOGY FOR GENETIC CLONING AND BODY TRANSPLANTATION.

Damn. I wish I could at least look like Finn. And do similar things to make this board seethe. But I can't because I don't have access to hormones. Fuck my stupid life.

>>41605516
Finn passes, would you?

>>41605528
>Finn passes
As a femboy I guess

>>41605528
>would you?
Idk I'm not rich westerner

>>41603051
So depressed, suicidal and cynical I'm ungroomable now

>>41598149
Holy shit you are me. Do you want to strangle your reflection too (on the off chance you accidentally see yourself in one)? Do you want to eradicate every single speck of it's existence?

>>41605418
I'd love to be an average or even below average girl. I don't want to be a below average tranny though. That is worse than what I am right now, and what I am right now is a horror show.

File: 1761399186233485.jpg (257 KB, 1280x1559)

257 KB JPG

Who else here is a completely dysfunctional shell of a person?

>>41606536
I'm so completely devoid of humanity, that I can't even want to be a woman.

File: letov and his cat.jpg (64 KB, 430x604)

64 KB JPG

I haven't left my home in two months. I wish I could live the rest of my life like this.

>>41606557
>I'm so completely devoid of humanity
i think humanity sucks so im not ashamed of that

>>41606536
I don't really feel human most days.

i feel like im beginning to see the end of my troon phase and hopefully this whole extended asdolescent phase of my life, but maybe thats too much to hope for.

ive basically pissed my whole 20s away for nothing. i dont know why i wanted to be a tranny, i literally just look like a man with long hair and ive artificially given myself an endocrine problem for some reason. thats literlaly all this was. and a bunch of stupid ideas about how i could or should be. all meaningless wastes of time. i could have just taken heroin for the last 10 years and it would have made no difference. i cant be this much of a child anymore.

>>41606986
how do you want your 30s to go instead? Has your biological clock ticked in and you want kids and shit?

>>41607066
I sure hope his doesn't tick like mine, because mine screamed at me to be a mom instead. That'll make it worse for him.

>>41607463
Thankfully those feelings weren't as bad for me in my 30s. Would've liked to have been a mom, but the feelings weren't nearly as extreme as the others

>>41607066
i dont really want kids, im in no condition to be a parent anyway, that would just be cruel.

idk i have no idea, i want to feel whole and like im worth something but i guess its too late for that now. i just dont want to feel like such a loser anymore.

>>41606561
Dead alcoholic pick real

hrtrepping is hecking valid and masculine!

>>41606986
I'm in exactly the same situation. I detransitioned just before I hit 30 and I'm ashamed to reflect on how naive I was

>>41607862
Who force you to detrans? Family? You live in eu or us? I need this information for analysis

>>41607904
It was voluntary and EU.

>>41607953
>It was voluntary
Yeah?) Please tell me your height

>>41607965
5'11~

>>41607984
It's like 180cm + right?
I'm 5.7 you are gorilla compared to me
Are you transition for fun or something?

>>41608023
181, yeah.
No, I have dysphoria and was misled into thinking transitioning would help. It didn't so I detransitioned instead.

>>41608057
>I have dysphoria
>l have cancer boss

Are you top or bottom? Mostly

>>41608093
I was a top but that might just be internalised homophobia and expectations. I'm sex repulsed now, obviously.

>>41608159
You was top even when on hormones?

>>41608185
Yeah, rapehon constitution

>>41608259
>rapehon

Domme momme tranz gurl construction

But if you exclusively for cis woman and hate bottoms and shit

Well where the dysphoria even comes from?
180+ dysphoria it's strange for at least to retarded subhuman like me

is joining the military a good idea? i'm seriously considering it.

>>41608385
You retards really think joining somewhere where there no women's around really make you more 'straight' or make 'tranny thoughts' go away better?
Better joining right into fucking prison
And try being straight there

>>41608322
I probably would've preferred dating other trans women tbhon
idk, why do you have dysphoria when plenty of men are 5'7?

File: nekojiru dots.png (93 KB, 383x275)

93 KB PNG

>>41608385
Hell no. Especially if you aren't a Westerner.

>>41608472
>planty of men are 5'7

But they are all beta manlettes not real alpha chadz ouch
They look miserable and women's date them because they are bored and can't get chads or cuz money
Maybe I'm just porn addicted lol
Trans womens just like cis women here

yes, i rep. i rep because i will never pass. repping is ok

>>41584482
I should have repressed
It’s all fetish and porn
Hrt works if you are committed to being a woman(and aren’t unlucky)
Fetishists porn brained cis makes like me can never be real woman let a lot real people.
Trans people hate being trans what the fuvk was I doing?
I’m stupid
I hurt everything and everyone
I go suck dicks and due

>>41608439
>>41608522
well, why not? any details?

>>41602048
yes I know, that's why I hate being alive

>>41608626

>military

Is it even profitable? Are you ready to do boring, monotonous work all day long? Eat cheap food, follow orders? It might be your whole life. You decide.

I’m dying
I killed myself

>>41608607
>It’s all fetish and porn

Please let me imagine life without fetish.
If having green eyes or wanting to have not a fetish
Idk then life is shit honestly

>>41608553
>Trans womens just like cis women here
Even if they pass? Grim

>>41608749
>Even if they pass?

Lol. Especially if they pass. Even femboys like this.
Passing trans woman can smell repressor from miles away. And you will start to feel uncomfortable in their presence.

>>41608792
No, I meant that they wouldn't date a passer?
Makes sense, reppers are miserable

>>41608827
>I meant that they wouldn't date a passer?
Who?

>>41608827
>reppers are miserable

Just like troons
It's not my fault that I happened to end up
in this miserable body and with this fuking government that don't allow me to do what I want with my own body

should i tell people i wish i were a woman

File: 1762249587610072.jpg (52 KB, 564x743)

52 KB JPG

>>41608983
I can't judge you for it of course but lots of trans women put those struggles behind them so they wouldn't like to entertain repper dysphoria and such

>>41609015
Coming out as a repper is a pointless endeavor.

>>41607845
ywnbar

>>41609015
most will think it's a fetish so why share that?

i dont really see much point in trooning when im unfuckable either way

>>41609074
>trans women put those struggles behind them so they wouldn't like to entertain repper dysphoria and such

Trans women are so woman lol

Okay I need to sleep good night

File: 1743892716518232.jpg (97 KB, 1440x900)

97 KB JPG

>coworker commented that i "dress like a lesbian" b/c half my fall wardrobe is flannels
>panic, reply "haha yeah i wish"
>"wish what, anon?"
>"...nothing"
someone needs to put me out of my misery

Telling people they are trans for wanting to press the button js brain washing

File: 1653615814756.gif (1.44 MB, 292x292)

1.44 MB GIF

>>41609363

can a repper who is only attracted to men and a cis gay be together

File: __ev_original_drawn_by_sp(...).jpg (54 KB, 850x498)

54 KB JPG

becoming a hot anime girl is the only way to solve my lifes problems

>>41609944
i'm gonna go with probably not. the cis gay would probably like the repper for his maleness, and the repper would feel unsatisfied because he knows he isn't seen as a woman.
using me as an example, im only meta attracted when i see imagine myself as a woman
could just be me tho

Is it still repping if I offer up my ass on Grindr for men to use?

>>41609990
Posting spindle club js brain washing

Transboys are angels and transgirls are demons

>>41610186
Kind of. I don't see why you would still rep at that point other than health concerns

friday night
time to drink to celerbate another week repped successfully

>>41610555
i ahte my life

File: __tether_original_drawn_b(...).jpg (215 KB, 850x1194)

215 KB JPG

>>41610197
i want to be a hot anime girl, man

Next thread: >>41610702