21F and transfemI don't have anyone else to tell this to so, here, I'll tell the hell site. I was around 14, and he was 17 when I started being sexually active, before I was trans we would just joke around about random shit, but I still remember saying once I would give him head, deadass. I then proceeded to get on my knees and actually start trying to do it. I ended up giving a toothy blowjob and threw up a little and he was utterly disgusted.I actually did start there, but we officially started doing shit months later, actually organized sessions, I would always be taking it in the ass. The only time I asked him if he would do it he flipped his shit and called me gay. When I told him he was gay for fucking me he slapped me and went on a rant about something too stupid to remember.That one single argument is when everything went downhill, I stopped letting him touch me and he stopped interacting. Now today, he's not the shittiest guy, he has a wife and a kid and recently he messaged me about meeting his family for Christmas, I went no contact with everyone in my old family and haven't been invited in years. I'm thinking about going because I'm abyssmally lonely but I hate him and myself for going along with it so fucking much I don't know if I can go their without throwing up. I do want to meet my sister in law and niece, but I'd rather not see anyone from back then either way. I know it's not unreasonable to feel this way but I still feel like I'm cheating people out of a family member that didn't even do anything. It was all so long ago I feel detached and don't really feel traumatized anymore, but I just hate him for what he did so much.Any input?
what do you stand to gain
>>41633373I haven't reas all that, but have you considered having sex with your brother?
>>41633373Your brother raped you. You should not be a part of his life. It is likely that he will take advantage of your previous history to assert sexual control over you again. This is not the kind of thing to brush under the rug.
>>41633373fourteen and seventeen is insane, you're a victim anon
>>41633373>Now today, he's not the shittiest guy, he has a wife and a kidJust because he has a wife and kid and LARPs as a normal family man with his act together doesn't mean he isn't a piece of shit. He probably only wants you back in his life because it's convenient for him to try and play on your emotions or use you or otherwise create problems for you. There are tons of men like this out there.
>>41633383>>41633417>>41633481>>41633526I dunno, whatever sane family members I still might have? I know he probably wouldn't, but he could hurt them, and if I wasn't there to stop it even though I knew what he was capable of doing I would not be able to live with myself. I feel irrational and nasty for thinking it but it feels like I'm gonna stay paranoid if I don't do anything.
>>41633390Have you considered putting a gun in your mouth and squeezing the trigger you depraved fuck?
>>41633599he sounds like he sucks ass. do what you want, but putting yourself back with a person like that sounds exclusively harmful
>>41633599>I know he probably wouldn't, but he could hurt them, and if I wasn't there to stop it even though I knew what he was capable of doing I would not be able to live with myself.The bleak and brutal reality of life is that you can't save everyone, not even those you love. Involving yourself in this situation is far more likely to get you raped again (or worse) than those kids saved.
>>41633743Alright, I'll just ignore them...
>>41633373I just wouldn’t trust someone who did that to you not just once but repeated times, he’s had years to get his story straight & you’ve undoubtedly been brought up. I just don’t think you’d really get what you want out of this, I’m not saying this to hurt your feelings but more for perspective, what if your sister in law thinks you’re some sort of problem?
>>41633773I'm sorry for what happened to you nona, and I'm sorry for those kids. I hope you can find peace.
>>41633807>>41633809Thank you, I've made a decision to not engage, I appreciate the feedback I just... really wanted to be sure, and despite how unhinged this place is if even you agree, then it's probably saying something.
>>41633373i unironically dont see a problem with anything he did except for when he slapped you>omg she was only-sigh..americans..
>>41633599Disengage is best. If you absolutely must communicate with him for whatever reason (even to avoid awkwardness coming from him) keep messages short, simple on on topic. Find reasons that "just came up" not to go to his place or spend time with him.
>>41633607yeah, but so far i've always decided against it
>>41633860You’re making the right choice, if he makes a genuine attempt to reach out to you then maybe but as of now everything indicates you’d just be stepping on a needle
bitches will really get down on their knees and start sucking a guys dick completely unprompted and then cry rape when things go southfembrained afdont act like u were a heckin innocent lil child who didnt know any better. at that age literally everyone knows what sex and its consequences are unless you genuinely have no contact with the outside world
So the two of you made a mistake? It's only as big of a deal as you let it be. Past 16 years none of your cells are the same, soon the people who did those things with each other literally will not exist anymore. If you can have compassion for each other I see no reason why you can't at least be cordial with each other. Makes sense that you two shouldn't be on your own alone in the same room, that'd be too awkward, but for a family event sure, give it a go, if it goes tits up you can always go no-contact again.>>41633481It's a fucking 3 year age gap, you zoomers are fucking pathetic
>>41634067istg i fucking hate retarded moralfagging zoomers so muchtrying to pretend like you just change soooo much from 14 to 17its like when people grow up, they forget what it was like to be young themselvesits almost like they forget that they were just a sex conscious then as they are nowits like they think you just magically gain awareness of sex at a certain age and before then, there’s nothingi fucking HATE zoomers
>>41634067>>41634090The age gap is not the concern. It's that it was her older brother, who almost certainly had power over her within the family. Family dynamics scramble everything. There's nothing wrong with 1. age gaps or 2. fucking your brother if it's totally consensual, but in the family context that's a no-go.
>>41634352>fucking your brother if it's totally consensual, but in the family context that's a no-go.literally saying one thing and then another“power over her within the family” wtf was he gonna do >”i won’t play smash bros with you anymore if you don’t have sex with me!”>”i’ll tell mom you pee your pants at school if you don’t have sex with me!”lollmao even
>>41634352>>41634426To continue, give me one, ONE realistic example of how he could’ve taken advantage of this “power” in a way that mattersOP doesn’t live in India or some other shithole where olderbrothers have power over their younger siblings and shit. And even if you do give me a good example, it still doesn’t matter. This is all immaterial because OP’s brother didn’t end up taking advantage of it anyway (either because it doesn’t exist, my view, or because he was just too good of a person too, which is your view presumably.)fucking OWNED you
> theres nothing wrong with him being a pedophile, butwhat the fuck am i reading lol
>>41634452Lovebombing and other physical abuse, shut up and let my thread die please. Fuck of pedos, all of you.
>>41637321>let the thread diebumped after 5 hours
Yes... I think you should try to reconcile, but don't do it on chrismas when you haven't got your trans issues sorted out. Because cis people just want to keep the peace. So he will think it's "nicest" if you just pretend to be normal for christmas so "everybody can have a good time".I think he wants you to love each other but the path there will not be straightforward. You should be patient, even if you are the aggrieved party. You need to be the stronger one.
You were raped and the only reason to ever meet him again is to kill him dead with your own hands
>>41633373meet up and suck his dick but do it right this time to make up for the embarrassment back then
