>started hrt 16>was afraid of growing tits, depressed and had no idea what is going on with my life>keep taking mostly justt AAs, on and off with hrt (keep taking it for a month or two, then a break of 2 to 5 weeks after i run out and have to go through 10 pharmacies to find one where they will just give it to me no questions asked)>this goes on until im 20, sudden existential dread, dysphoria crash, realize i do want to just transition>this time get on cypro and gel>great results, after a couple of month breasts are actually forming in a rounded cis-female form instead of gross gyno it looked like when i was a teen>keep taking 12 mg cypro (buy 50 and cut them into quarters, its super cheap and lasts for a year) and 2-3 pumps of gel every day (cant spread more than that at a time, keep missing my intake time, either put it on as i wake up or go to sleep and the times for that keep shifting aroung so its really not consistent)>last year get very bad bpd-like symptoms, keep getting breakup-levels upset at bf for random bullshit, keep randomly getting suicidal/ crying/ angry>look into getting professional help only now, then just realize it all could be due to shitty hrt regiment >cont.
>contSo now I'm wondering if I fucked up my transition by wasting a lot of time on bad doses - like - if changes occur for like a 3 years after you start hrt and then it's over or if your body waits for you to get the correct dosage and then will just adjust as if you'd start normally - just delayed. I'm afraid that i'd permanently fucked up my chances by wasting so much time on a bad doseso, rn i have to try to get on normal levels and then get help if nothing gets better. I can't get injections due to location etc. at the moment i was planning on trying both cypro and bica together since they work in different ways but i'm not sure about what E intake option i should go for? - stay on gel but switch to 2 times daily so i'd get a more consistent higher dose but it would cost a lot and gel isnt always availableorswitch to 2 mg pills and take two each day. It would allow me to take them more consistently but they also cost a bit and I've heard bad things about pills so maybe i would be better off staying on gelanyway i feel like im going to kill myself rn, i was sure i was fine and even tho i knew i should get tested i kept putting it off/forgetting and now it's way to late. fuuck
>>41686841yeah gel's horrible if you cant keep a routine/miss doses (which is the case for most of us depressed trannies), but you avoided the worst case scenario by taking AAs! at least you didnt go thru masculinization, you already have breast growth so its not like you fucked up badjust go with pills just so you can get steady levels. they worked best for me when i was a depressed mess (still missed a couple doses, but not as bad as gel), try sublingual if you can keep up with taking 3x a daybest case scenario is getting you on injections, but any E is better than no E
>>41686873ty, i'll probably get on progynova and take it twice a day. I hope everything gets better
>>41686887please remember to take them sublingually and space them out. you want consistent levels so that you wont get major mood swingsi prolly shouldnt recommend this, but my routine was smth like 4x1mg daily, and i took them in 5hrs interval while i was awake (so 7hrs-12hrs-17hrs-22hrs) it got me thru some of my worst days, but the 9hr gap in your sleep was probably bad for my levels. id probably take 2mg at 22hrs to make up the downtime during my sleep, but this is schizoscience and i only went thru with it cuz i like to experiment w/ my body
>>41686873so true when i was on pills and aa ive had great results and now I only have gel (a lot of it in my stash so i have to use it) and I constantly miss doses, get depressed and weird, Im worried about my dht and t levels etc. Its just so annoying having to dry your crotch for 15 mins after applying the gel. super hard when depressed .
>>41686980yeah. im already depressed, and i gotta spend 30 minutes in a musty ass bathroom after bathing having to let it dry out?? idc if gel is technically better than pills, but pills are easier to consistently take without me wanting to kill myself and thats what matters
>>41686995is it better? i miss my injections my cat got the vial dirty so its no use unfortunately. are you also on cypro or other aa? I tried ordering some when i ran out but it never arrived :(((
>>41687039ehh, theoretically better long term cuz it bypasses the liver (pills, even if sublingually, still fully dont), but in every other regard it pales in comparison to pills (pills are easier to hide, easier to take, generally cheaper, etc)regardless, the top 1 priority should be consistency. just pick the regimen that you can consistently take and stick with it until you can move on to smth better (like injections)>are you also on cyproyes! im on cypro + 4mg sublingual rn cuz my vials have yet to arrive (poor planning on my part), and i still had leftover cypro from the start of my transition
