When scrolling through this board and when talking to other mtfs, literally almost all I read and hear about are their relationships. How are you supposed to find a relationship with another tranny? I live by a major city and I rarely ever see any mtfs and I’ve tried to talk to people from frengen, but it didn’t go anywhere. It feels all too frustrating because I’m not even unattractive as a boymoder and I’m passionate about many different things and have tons of skills and hobbies. I’ve never been in a relationship, and everyone that has treated me as more than a friend has just used me as a sexual object or a vessel to cheat on their partners with. I can’t even look at myself anymore knowing that the only people who have liked me are people who liked my body or wanted me as a side piece, but had no romantic interests in me. I constantly think about how I’d want to inspire and dress up with my partner and be there for them, but it all just feels like an unattainable desire. The loneliness is unbearable…
>>41696971Also I forgot to say>inb4 you just sound like a horny chaser!I’ve been called a chaser before and it made me feel disgusting and awful. How am I a chaser for wanting to be with someone like myself? And I’m not even interested in sex as I’m basically asexual
>>41696971>>41696997I feel like overall saying 'we're alike' is sort of a bad move if u don't girlmode, otherwise just stick with other boymoders and like not even in the disingenuous 'trans arent the same as real women' way, cos it's all about lived experience
>>41696971i really don't know :( i've kind of just resigned myself to the inevitability that anyone i get close to & start falling for is going to detach and leave. it happens every single time & i hardly ever get to that point to begin with. i wish i didn't have to bother but it hurts when i try to sleep at night
>>41697694and this stupid site flipped my photo too. nothing ever goes right for me in my miserable tranny life
>>41697694I’m sorry that you repeatedly had to deal with something like that. I’ve definitely been in similar situations where I was talking to cis women irl, but they always ended up losing interest in me when I started to open up to them. Social situations and people are too confusing and it’s too easy to interpret synchronicities as being our fault or something that we’re repeatedly doing wrong>>41697703I noticed that it was rotated, but it actually looks kind of nice that way. There’s a nice rule of thirds going on in the photograph
>>41697703and everything changed
>>41697730I like the gray, desaturated vibe of the picture. I was somewhat into photography for a short period of time. Do you take pictures often?This is completely unrelated, but my nose suddenly just started to bleed
>>41697765are you okay
>>41697777I’m alright—my nose just randomly drips blood daily, and I try to interpret it as some sort of omen. I usually leave it on my face for a while before washing it off. I guess it’s interesting for aesthetic purposes, but it’s also somewhat unsettling because blood is usually associated with pain or suffering
>>41697805you might have a disease, or broken nasal passage or you do too much blow or opiates
>>41697805*kisses you above your top lip*
>>41697814That’s an interesting and realistic way of looking at it, but for better or for worse, I’ve interpreted it as an energy or slightly negative parasitic spirit that attached itself to my blood and slowly trys to make it’s way out into the air to reproduce or escape from my blood, but could never successfully do it>>41697820Does red iron awaken your senses? I’ve always found vampires to be interesting
>>41697859i got vamp'd once dont think im vampire though, i'd still lick my lips after kissing you though.goodnight :*
>>41697887Sweet dreams…I should probably head to sleep myself since it’s nearly six a.m. here
>>41697724i often just think there's something fundamentally unlikeable about me, maybe to do with autism or something, but i don't know. a few times i've had people with unresolved baggage from other relationships get intimate & lovey with me as a temporary relief. & then they can't do it anymore. & where does that leave meit's fine though it's whatever. maybe i just need to stop letting myself get hurt and it'll all patch over with time>>41697730thanks anon :>>>41697765fairly often. i like to go out to city parks mainly to take photos of bugs and other wildlife i may find, though with winter coming in there's not as much going around. heres one i took while visiting the west coastalso i get kind of frequent nosebleeds too funnily enough. i've become pretty desensitised to my own blood from that & clumsiness around blades & my pet leech that makes me bleed for a day nonstop when i feed it. i like how it tastes & especially how it lingers when i drink tea with blood on my lips. but leech-bitten blood is a tad wateryanyway goodnight anons, it's 6am for me too. may you all find happiness and beauty in life
