i’m a 24 mtf and my boyfriend is 30 ftm. we’ve been dating for three years and he’s the sweetest guy i’ve ever met. we met on a dating app, and if i’m being honest, his age made me really attracted to him. i assumed he would not only be physically masculine (which he really is) but also act more traditionally masculine. i’d never been with a trans guy before him because i have a genital preference, and i’ve only ever been attracted to cis men. femininity isn’t something i’m attracted to romantically, and i don’t think i’ve ever seen a vagina and felt any kind of arousalthis was something we had to work on in our relationship, because i don’t feel comfortable penetrating him and i also don’t feel comfortable giving him head. that made me feel like a bad girlfriend most of the time. he’s been really understanding, but i still became sexually frustrated. we don’t have sex much at all, and when we do, it’s mostly for him. i feel really taken care of emotionally, which makes me think that as a trans woman i’m lucky to have someone who shows up for me. but the sexual stuff makes me wonder if we should break up
there’s another thing that makes me feel that way even more than sex does. before him, i’d only been with cis men, who were usually stoic and didn’t open up much about their feelings. i thought that would be the case with my boyfriend too, but it’s been the opposite. he cries a lot and very easily, he talks about his feelings constantly, and he gets pouty and uses a baby voice (unironically) when he feels like i didn’t do something we wanted. i like when men are open about their feelings, but i didn’t expect someone to be this emotional. i’m not asking him to hide anything, but i wish he could express his feelings in a calm, collected way so we could have mature conversations without pouting or crying.i feel like even though he’s older and very masculine in a lot of ways, i have to be the mature one in the relationship, and it makes me feel disconnected from my femininity. he’s thoughtful and i love him so much, and i’m sure there’s someone out there who could give him everything he wants. do you think we should break up? what would you do to make this relationship work? do i need to work on myself instead of asking things from him?
>>41699180Hey, anon. I think there's a reason you're coming here with these doubts. You can't do this for the rest of your life. Sex is a really important aspect of relationships. He isn't your soulmate or anything, just a nice person that came to you during your journey in life, that you have a healthy relationship with. The most respectful and honorable thing to do is break up with him when you're ready. Take your time to think about it. From my experience, this kind of issue can't be reconciled. It'll be okay. Leaving him doesn't mean you're a good partner, or didn't love him, or didn't have a great relationship with him. It's okay for relationships to just not work out sometimes. It's not your fault or his fault, you gave it your all and had fun times together, there's no regret in that. The last action of being a good girlfriend to him would be breaking up with him so he can be with someone more sexually compatible. Good luck.
>>41699215doesn't mean you're NOT* a good partnerHope that helps you in some way to process your thoughts
>>41699215thank you
>>41699341<3
i’m just saying this so people see it
>>41700131i’m just saying this so people see it
>>41701199i’m just saying this so people see it
didnt work
>>41702195what?
>>41699188cis men would do this if they could get away with it too, but they've learned not to via very painful lessons. your bf still holds the incel/fembrain fairy tale that he doesn't have to fit the strict male gender norms>>41699215>The last action of being a good girlfriend to him would be breaking up with him so he can be with someone more sexually compatible.this, assuming he has better current or future options
>>41702247i don’t want him to keep things to himself but i feel like we can actually talk about it without him being like that
