should i just end my life? im 27 and i repped since i was 13 and now the repression is starting to collapse and i cannot fucking bear seeing my dilapitated body infected with male hair and I look like philosophy tube with a meth addiction. im completely useless as a man, i was raped and abused as a child and i never had an effective male or female role model its just this hole inside my chest that tells me that im supposed to abused by other people because that's all i learnedi don't understand the point of people like me i struggle to not plan to buy a gun or not cancel the amazon order for hemp rope or pretend to hold my breath while thinking about asphyxiating myself with a charcoal burner in my bathroom Shaving my body hair makes me feel nice because it makes my body feel more natural to me but I have no much body hair and it grows back to fast and my skin gets so red and male looking when I try to get it offI would've been fine being raped as a kid more if it somehow led me to transitioning as a teenager.i feel too ugly now, i can't cope by calling myself a twink (1/2)
s the only semblance of romance for me getting raped by men? i don't really feel anything when people touch me so i don't want to disappoint them maybe I am just somebody that gets raped and that's what I am I should be abused because that's when people notice me. i don't know if i have the courage to do this. i dont know; i don't think i really want to be a woman, but i don't want to be a man either, i just wanna feel like somebody different and be seen as somebody different because i don't know how to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of this profound self-neglect and shame and it makes me want to annihilate myself and be someone else if i had an mtf partner that was a repressor like me i would feel like a monster for undergirding the whole relationship with "well i guess ill just try to protect and love someone that was like me instead, that's how i will circumvent my pain", i can't really imagine myself in a relationship with a man or a woman though. also the final reality is that even if i transformed into something that doesn't make me feel disgusted with myself all the time, it's still just me at the core /2
>>41708048you have hipsjust shave and you have no reason to rep + im a girl and ive always gotten hair like that so dont think it means its all over
>>41708048>>41708048>hemp ropewhys it gotta be hempanyways heres the plan: go to one of the diy directories and buy yourself a vial of E, start injecting thatthats kinda it, where you go from there is up to you tbhon, but at least youll stop ape-ifying as all moids do with time, you can choose to transition or not to transition, the e wont stop you from being able to pass a man unless you grow out your hair and get laser facial hair removal and start looking faggy if you have the genes for that, so frankly you can do whatever the fuck you wanna doas for your mental? yeah i dunno, ive been an hrtrepper for a looooong time and im just as fucked and rotten to the core but at least i look like a cute twink i guess, sorry about the rape thing, big L truly, i didnt get raped but grew up in a deeply abusive family so i get it to an extent
>>41708222>sorry about the rape thing, big L
just laser it retard
>>41708291if im very serious for a moment, therapist? if its smth that has deeply traumatized you and exists at your core in day to day living you prob need to get help for it, self medicating with drugs or suicidal ideation only goes far enough to keep you living, and you end up this sort of worn out gollum like thing, like spread too thin and too fucked internally, you gotta work on that with professional help and real human connection with ppl who truly love and care about you, i think the e in the meantime is just necessary because if the masculinization bothers you this much its only gonna get so much worse with time, and contrary to retards saying e will immediately turn you into a giga fag that gets yelled at in public, you can take e and continue to live as a man pretty easily while actually feminizing to an extent
>>41708058dont be a pitying woman, and i know it seems like im being a feminist bitch and caring about only women who get raped, but im not. 99% of women are cunts that have rape coming to them. but you need to be a man, not the "trad", feminist ideal of a provider-slave that shouldn't cry about anything unless its "particular things", but an actual man that doesn't give a fuck. if we're being real, the violation of rape afterwards stems from the underlying social shame, as well as the depression thats coming from the women who in comparison are rude whores who deserve to be raped by unironically choosing to be around rapists.youre just crashing out. none of your problems are actually present in the concurrent real world and for that you should be grateful. im giving you the truth for your own good. a guy with ptsd experiencing being spliced in half or beaten till brain damage as a child can sometimes have less depression than a rape victim? which is because of the women who are biological narcissists and need to use social mind games for eons to survive. lots of men feeling violated comes from women and unknowingly male feminists bringing you down to their level, which youre not. you have value beyond sexual value. dont fall for the equality propaganda that feminists and "trad" boomers put out. im not saying you have a responsibility to be "tough", or that you shouldn't be given the same privileges of women, im just saying you aren't even at that level and need to understand that the "violation" isn't even real and just purely conceptual, and that having those feelings as a MAN is literally unnecessary. you dont have to "own it", you just have to know these facts. youre not a biological woman, you have the mind to create and right now the physical strength to kill most men and all women on earth. you should be mad at yourself that youre getting this mad over *mere* yes mere, sexual abuse, at a time of weakness because they were cowards which is not humiliation.
>>41708736 therapy wont tell you this or anything important because therapy is controlled by the status quo which obviously therefore wants you to be docile and have a low self esteem. real tangible solutions to YOUR social or material problems offends them. also check if youre chemically imbalanced asap.
>>41708048nothing about your body is too disproportionately masculine, in fact compared to a lot of others it looks feminine and would pass literally perfectly on estrogen. yes youre a twink and should be grateful, and will continue being a twink until youre 30 or older without estrogen. just because you GREW doesn't mean your bones have masculinized, youre still a twink just not young which is half of it.
