illegal edition>qotthave you ever been arrested?>qotthave you ever been to jail or an equivalent?prev: >>41686958
>>41714463never been arrested but i did scam uber, doordash, instacart, etc out of around 700 dollars a few years back
>>41714516greentext pls
>>41714463I've committed numerous serious crimes but the only time I was ever even questioned by the police was for something I genuinely didn't do. They were trying to be coy about it and wanted me to just "come in and make a statement" even though they clearly thought I was the perp. The really funny part was that the investigator was doing the classic bit where they're cagey about the details of the crime itself to see if you'll trip up about info you shouldn't know, but at the same time he bungled it and revealed other contextual information that let me know exactly who had accused me. And that's how a former employer tried to frame me for arson.
>>41714516>be me >broke and hungry college student >see post about people ordering from uber and falsely reporting their food never arrived>instant full refund>find out that can get delivery drivers fired tho>idea >photoshop food as being raw>strategically place hairs >say I'm missing items >"uh oh, i got food poisoning!">full refund every time>eventually they catch up on my escapades >i get banned>i move to the next food delivery platform>the cycle repeatsi'm banned from almost every food delivery platform now, but it was worth it
>trans tape
>>41714463>have you ever been arrested?nah>have you ever been to jail or an equivalent?only to pick up patients alwas a hoot
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
What sorts of things would you find most helpful on an comprehensive guide for DIY testosterone and transitioning from female to male in general? Are there any specific areas you feel like the already existing guides are lacking in?>>41714658Based as fuck
>>41714853you got it backwards
let me in that mouth girllet me in that throat girllet me in that esophagus girllet me past that cardiac sphincter girl
An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded.
Did the machine in your skull finally refashion your loyalty into madness?
Cute tunabois hmu discord is Kolgujev
>>41715695>cardiac sphincter >not "to the pylerus and beyond"I am disappoint son
You are a villain. Because you enjoyed what you did. And you did it even when you had been ordered not to. You can only blame others because you refuse to take responsibility for your actions.
>>41714463I made a little website and was threatened to be sued
>>41717989By who?
I finished the book my crush gave me in four and a half hours. Hopefully this means I get a kiss
>>41718006A distinguished gentleman with a taste for the arts
>>41718019John David Card?
>>41718118No it was a website
>>41718118what a gross name.
>>41718190don't fuck with the thunder from down under anon
>>41715185A truly comprehensive guide for androgens might be kind of tough to maintain a substantial amount of links that haven’t been nuked by everyone’s favorite three letter organizations but it’s worth a shot>literally anything besides “lol just poondose and pray” (perhaps resources on level monitoring)>info on other anabolics for theyfab adjacent characters or anyone else who might want to min/max specific traits>dht>might as well throw fin/minox/etc in there
>>41718280(samefagging) I forgot to say aromatase inhibitors also
>>41718280Apparently male sperm in the vagina is very good for reversing hysteria in "Female-to-Male" women
>>41715695I need a logical hypothetical explanation why so many ftms have a vore fetish.
Ill finally be a real man when I can get in some boomer shooter lobby and not get bullied out by all the other men.
>>41718512Sorry anon, better luck grooming some kittens on discord. The people here are on meds and will look pretty ugly once you get your hands on them.
>>41718512Wow so original. How long it take you to come up with that one little buddy? Let’s make sure you’re not late for naptime
>>41714463Honestly, the state of the UK right now is 100% due to immigrants. Everything else is cope. I get it, i'm trans. It is because of social progress that I am able to somewhat express myself. Rightists want us gone. I understand. But I fucking get it. They were somewhat right on some things, even if they were wrong on most.
>>41718666The eternal paradox of wanting social liberties while needing to be nationalist enough to keep them so your country doesn't either fall apart or swing all the way into fed death squad mode.
>>41718767We are ruled by retarded old white guys who are 1 foot into the grave and a bunch of duel-citizenship jews who are only loyal to Israel and money. Everything they say or touch is worthless and fake and only meant to rile up naive people. We can't do much, but weather the storm. The present is fucked, the future is even more fucked, and we can literally do nothing, but we need to live and get through it. I want to have hope.I'm scared sometimes, thinking that when we will become minorities, if we will be able to maintain trans rights anyways. Everyone fucking hates us. The right hates us for being woke trannies and muslims/blacks just want us dead because of their culture. Are the liberties we enjoy only meant to be temporary?
>>41718847It was going pretty well until the aforementioned Israelis kept pushing more and more retarded shit, mostly involving MTFs. People are barely aware of pooners even now, to the general public the modern vague specter of trannydom is always an MTF. Hell, in the 2000s and early 2010s trans guys came up occasionally as a kind of harmless novelty, like "hey look, its a gay couple and one of the guys is pregnant, ain't that wacky? Good for them."
>>41715185> Are there any specific areas you feel like the already existing guides are lacking in?add instructions on how to make your own t gel. Its annoyingly hard to find a decent recipe
>>41718933I enjoy not having the spotlight, but they definetly do target MtFs because they are a lot more flamboyant and get up to doing a lot of retarded shit. Obviously, because our society loves pointing and judging, they are wacky and they are took seriously by everyone. And for us, little old us, we get grouped up with emos and fujos.>"Itz just da phaze"We're not took seriously.
>>41719080The "just a phase" reaction by society is accidentally a good test of whether you're enough of a man to ignore the people saying it and keep on truckin
I feel safe here to admit ive never found sam hyde funny and think hes a filthy degenerate idgaf call me fembrained but ive legit never laughed at one of his clips or anything
>>41719117I passed so I finished the test. But i'll always be just some manlet gayboy. It's fine, at least I have my autistic interests and art career
>>41719179Thanks for coming out to us anon, I can't say I don't agree. I'm not malebrainned enough to be see the appeal in unhinged crazy manchildren bouncing around retardedly and ragebaiting
>>41719330there is room in the world for manlet gayboyst. lanky 6'3" cis gayboy who wishes he were smaller and more snugglable
>>41719346I always thought there was something wrong with me…but now I feel seen and heard. Thank you.
>>41719359How the fuck are you that tall anon? Eat too much spinach? Are you some cisman from the Netherlands into weight training?
>>41718847>>41718666stop caring, that's the most malebrainned thing you can ever do.
>>41719387nah I'm in Texas, just some beanpole Austrian genes
>>41719179It ultimately depends on what you find funny. Let me guess first. You watch Hazbin Hotel and find it funny?
I only been handcuffed to take to the hospital when they found me on the street out of reality because of when my parents didnt give my medication.
>>41719459I find the three stooges funny but no i dont watch hazbin hotel. Give me one sam hyde video that u think is genuinely funny
i actually don’t hate women and i feel like the minority here.
>>41719606GEEET OOOOOUUUUUUTTT. YOU WILL NEVER BE A REAL POON AND YWNBRM! KILL ALL WOMEN! RAPE ALL WOMEN! WE HATE. WE HATE!
>>41719626but women are nice to me…
>>41719637I am sorry anon, but it is rare that they are ever sincere. Being nice is not enough if it's just showbiz.
>>41719678no one is genuinely ever nice. they will always want something in the end, i’d much rather a woman feign pleasantry towards me then be a stone cold beyotch.
>>41719561Slapstick humor is for women, children, autists, and the japanese. Let me be clear. I dont like all of Sam Hyde’s stuff but some parts of Fishtank (Show by Sam Hyde) are kinda funny. The Matan x Sam Hyde interview is kinda funny too. However, your sense of humor is more dry/literal/light instead of shock/absurdity/irony/satire/GenZ+Late Millennial Humor. I don’t think you’ll find it funny that during an interview with a progressive Jewish person you hire Indians to slowly walk in during the interview one by one.
>>41714463Yeah, I got a domestic violence charge because I sperged out and destroyed a giant wall-mirror when I was 16. One night in jail. Then it got expunged since there wasn’t anyone else home at the time and putting me on the sex offender list for that would have been completely insane.
>>41714516I know someone that did that by accident just by being so poor his card kept getting bounced payments.
>>41719179Same, his “humor” is just being obnoxious and wasting people’s time. That isn’t funny. It’s just antisocial. Like the Ted talk thing. Ted talks are stupid, but wasting everyone’s time and pretending you’re better than them while acting like a retard, is 10x worse than a normal Ted talk.
>>41719179It's a beacon for loser cishet guys. This nigga is atrociously ugly... The only people getting past this general appearance are straight guys with no standards and men-lite like Joshua Moon.
>>41719688>but women are nice to me...>no one is genuinely never niceWhich?
>>41720123True. There’s “bad genes and/or eating disorder” ugly and then there’s “intentionally tries to be as hideous as possible to reflect his hideous essence” ugly. Stavros has the same thing. Just inflicting ugliness on people for no reason.
>>41720123>>41719179he's not funny on his own, and rarely funny with others, but other people are always where his humor lands for me. like people blaming him for tragedies always made me laugh
>>41720149>intentionally tries to be as hideous as possiblehas he ever mentioned being raped?
The irony of pooners shitting on an actual man who tries to be ugly
>>41720290Womp womp
>>41719927Why would destroying a wall mirror make you a sex offender?
>>41720315Domestic violence shows up on those “find a sex offender near me” sites. It’s considered a sex offense for some reason. Same with public urination.
>>41720335If you were Canadian they would have made you apologize to the mirror, too.
How do I go about getting a footjob as a ftm guy
>>41720741Grindr?
>>41720747I'm only into women & I've had phallo
>>41720290>posts cis tomboyTry again
Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.
Foolish are those who fear nothing, yet claim to know everything.
>>41724438I'm trying to be more kind, I'm going to ruthlessly stomp a old ladies head in
>>41719891 slapstick humor has a statistically more male audience u retard
>>41725824>m-muh statistics Dudebros dont watch slapstick, you dumb woman
>>41714463Got busted at school with coke once when I was 15, but I'm from a civilised country so I had to do a drug rehab program and some community work
>>41725914There is a duo that did slapstick westerns, they are super popular here but only with men. I don't know a single women into that. But if you ask any man, 80% will tell you that the show was great.
>>41725914I rly dont give a shit
hallo ftmg, what is this age demographics here?
>>41726855I am 20The underage population is notable, but I feel like there aren't many posters here. When IP counts were around it was (usually) fairly low.
>>41726890>When IP counts were around it was (usually) fairly low.do you rememver what kind of numbers? ballpark?
>>41726908iirc it was something like 20-40. 40 was the absolute max unless there was some crazy drama.
>>4172695520-40 on ftmg? so id project a few hundred on /tttt/ total
>>41726855I'm 24
>>41726969Gotta remember though that the pooner population is low asf compared to troons n even cis fags on here
very losery question but does anyone have any tips on finding friends outside of work/uni? i'm taking a year off from school to go back to work (need $ and im directionless) and now my co-workers are mainly normie women in their late 20s-40s so thats not gonna happen. i feel like a freak trying to introduce myself to people when i go to bars/shows/raves. but i miss having friends
I was in inpatient for many months over a number of hospitalizations.
how do i looksmax. i have theyfab physiognomy. my jawline is so fucked
>>41728895don't listen to any towelpulling or bonesmashing retardaton. The only looksmaxes that work for jaw are mastic gum (usually gives minimal results) and surgery
>>41728895Youre fine. You pass as a gay cis man. Congrats. I hope you voice pass though because voice passing is like half of passing
>>41728895pug if it got transformed into a human
>>41728895Most white men are estrogenated gay boys. You pass. Your lips and head shape is feminine. Get into shape and focus on training your shoulders.
>>41728895Would be better to see full body for comparison, but the face isnt too bad (lips & round face, otherwise passable), could definitely choose better glasses/haircut though
>>41728895Get a beard nigga. That’s all that will save you. >>41728965>You look like a faggot! You pass!How is looking like a hormonally feminized male a win for an ftm? You’re hugboxxing because he obviously looks like a butch currently.
>>41728895You don't pass. Detransition and get pregnant ASAP
>>41729333can i impregnate you
>>41728895from the front you just look like a basedboy but your side profile needs surgery. a chin implant and jawline shaping will save you.
>>41729333nikols will you ever post your handsome face... i bet you're the most attractive man on the board but i need proof...
>>41714463>qotts Yes, and yes. I am objectively the most gangsta guy here. Prob been in handcuffs like 6-7 times. But like by gangsta it just means I’m literally just a mentally disabled person : /I had police presence in my home as a kid because of attendance problems at school and I even like laid in alleyways to avoid going to school. This is just because I had a disability. As in dis ability to be so retarded. Basically this was the result of overpolicing in my community. I got pills in cuffs by two white cops on the day I tried to kill myself w pills and they were talking about a rape case in the car. I was like a 15yo girl. They took me to the hospital and tried to scared straight me by mentally torturing me by continuously looking in my line of sight. I was violent towards my own single mother as a child but she just exploited this in order to abuse me further. One time I got slapped by a guy in a parking lot, he came out of his car and slapped me because I was being retarded. I had 0 reaction and was like “oh yeah I deserved that lol” immediately and he was like, scared of me. There is really nothing to be scared about with adult men because most of them are genuinely pussies and pretty retarded, and know that and have masculinity issuesI have a really dramatic and sad and interesting life story desu. Erm thug life
>>41729698I have bipolar Considering that I am literally a psycho it’s better that I am not a woman
>>41729698>>41729711You dont sound interesting at all. It’s just juvenile bullcrap because you had a shitty mom and no father figure. Lots of poor black “people” have this sort of childhood. I just hope you grew out of it instead of being a slave to your past
>>41729774Yes I grow out of it eventually. I’m 23 currently so it’s still occurring. It is notable because I’m allegedly a white /jewish woman, and I was for the juvenile events. If I wanted to be a grifter I could be like “the police took away my wombsnhood!” Idk that’s not really a narrative I want to have“Durrrr black people”. Read a fucking book. You’re just mentally coping with the fact really bad things happen to people that aren’t you while you sit and masturbate at mommy’s house all day. You’re never going to have the survival skills of someone like me and you’ll die in the apocalypse. Cope harder
group suicide starts now
>>41729836321
i'm so sad i need an ftm to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything is going to be okay
>>41729823>survival skillsWhat survival skills? All you did growing up was skip school, get tard wrangled by the police, and get abused by your mommy. It’s pitiably childish bullshit. You are a pathetic loser and sorry sight lol
>>41729887I have been in life or death situations. The way this impacts a person is something a little suburban f**ot like you will never be able to understand.
>>41729902wolfgang please hug me
>>41729915Ok
>>41729930*hugs you*
now you hug me back
>>41729902You cast yourself as some hard ass dude but you are just a beaten dog. Abandoned by your father, abused by your mother, and ignored by the system. I can see why you transitioned. It’s an escape because back then you were just a weak and powerless woman. While the men who hit you and the police who taunted you were more powerfulI pity you. You’re still a slave. Enslaved by your past
>>41730004are you an ftm
>>41730004You do not know enough about me and are paychosnalyzing me based on nothing. I am literally trying to get into multi year psychoanalytic therapy, where they could actually do this. You know nothing about me, most of the time I do not even give a shit about this. I spent years not thinking about it at all. And then recently it came up again and lead to an episode. I transitioned because internally I wanted to see myself as a man in the same way other trans people doThere is nothing to pity because if you were above me you would have something intelligent to contribute to the conversation, but you don’t.
>>41730032wolfgang i love you please hug me
>>41730004Also by child abuse, I was not beaten or raped. My family just happened to be psychologically delayed, I outpaced them mentally and it was scary and created problems. I was unwanted and abandoned into cws. My family is psychologically adolescent from my perspective. It is very scary.
>>41730044PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE I NEED THIS
>>41730037Okaaaaaaaaaay *hugs*
>>41728895another red hair and green eyed goddess lost to the ftmside.
>>41714463>QOTTI was in men's prison for 8 years
>>41730046Yeah I have no doubt that guy was like suffering in that moment lolIt is very funny. For an Internet personality speed is pretty smart
>>41730054Post images of your spread asshole
>>41726855mostly underage which is why most people are retarded.
>>41728895You look adolescent because that is your actual ageThere is literally nothing wrong with you at all You need to not be manipulated by people with a body image disorder onlineJust wait and then you’ll look older
>>41730052thank you i love you
>>41730073What are you gonna do about it marry meHuh???
>>41730061i'm not underage but i suffered multiple TBIs as a child which left me mentally stunted and generally very stupid
>>41730071Dont lie, xe literally has a Maia Poet face
>>41730080yes i will marry you soon i will marry every ftm in the entire world and i will never be alone again
>>41730057really? they just put trans men in male prisons like that?
>>41728895golly gosh darn you'd be so pretty just being a chick ngl
>>41730091Definitely not, ftms get sent to womens prison. An ftm would get turned into an onahole in a mens prison.
>>41730091I told them to and they just shrugged and approved it without argument. To be fair I live in a country where prison is very different from the American standard. We had individual cells, showers had stalls, I was receiving T on prescription. Other prisoners did not even know I was trans for the most part and those that did didn't care. Not once was I even approached for PIV or shown interest in by another prisoner.
>>41730105Someone at my case argued that I should be put in a women's prison based on being born female, and I just said no, that was all it took. My gender and name were legally changed and at the time no one knew anything about troons and poons and whatever. It would have been more legally complicated to imprison me in women's prison
The government might need to start fixing this. One kid spawn for free SRS
>>41730091People think being around other men is scaryWell, there you go. When they are just men and you don’t have mental problems relating to men, it’s not a problem. I literally was in a facility earlier today lolz
>>41718953have you seen the data on progestogens binding and activating the AR in exactly the same way as DHT except more? if that works as the data shows you could just put some MPA in a body lotion and itll work.
>>41730146it would have to be literally everything all cosmetics and support for like 2-3 years afterwards making sure recovery from everything involved works out. Also maybe a brain wipe.
i want to kidnap an ftm and hold him captive and force him to pay attention to me 24/7
get horny and kill everyone
My body looks like this as a cis man.
>>41730784okay
I just realized I can't kill myself because of my little brother.>Blast my brains>Get mourned>Everyone moves on after 4 months>Everyone has other friends and family anyway>My shut-in brother has no one>My suicide might turn him into a full-NEETI can't ruin his future bros
>>41730873Have sex with your brother. Let your hairy poongina grip his smelly NEET cock. Meld your bodies together in incestual brother-brother love. You will find no greater pleasure than this
sup fags im horny
>>41727383I had a dream you had a schlong and fucked the fuck out of my moutb
It's 9am and i want to suck on his nipples
Was terribly horny for a week. Just depressed now.
>>41730177someone genuinely needs to test this out
>>41730146WTF, the alpha males all told me women become barren skeletons at 35
>>qott>have you ever been arrested?assault 2 wreckless endangerment.when the green knight kneeled before me i grazed his neck rather than kill him.
why don't you fuckers ever dote on me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear
because they were disappointed that i didn't go full gawain. they felt stripped of their justification for running me out of town with pitch forks in hand. where they wanted to call me a monster, what kind of monster shows mercy?
wake up you whores
>>41732965No
why is there so little talk on t4t fucking using just your tdicksits quite literally the most pure and logical thing you can do with another ftm, even if your dick isnt big enough to fully fuck each others holes the warmth from humping their ass feels incredible and is very affirming
>>41733348sex is immoral
>>41730146>teen pregnancy rates are dropping >this is bad somehow
I want a gay t4t bf with a small pp to do raceplay and sph with. I want him to call me slurs while I top him and let me make fun of him for being smaller than I am. Is this possible?
>>41732965I was exercisingDo you guys fw the beach boys, or 70s music in general?https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMxkpnetcodPO7SE9v4r0xPBlapx6VYAy&si=qDpKITqg4lzdrM0S
>>41733683N
>>41733683So basically you're a black man who wants race shit with a white woman. Please kys
>>41733795>t4t
>>41733803Kys idiot.
You (I) think you (I) look like this, but you (I) don't.
>>41733830did you mean to post this in /mmg/
>>41733852NoI/Many FtMs think that we look like men who are nerdy, gross, +/- androgynous, but cute nevertheless. Instead we/I look like women who don't smile (If you smile you look like a qt "lesbian" btw)
>>41733741Keep going. >>41733795That’s not nice, anon. We’re both women.
>>41726855I'm 27
>>41733732>70s musicBig time
>>41733870Straight trannies are incels that were so desperate for pussy they decided to try to physically imitate their prey lol
>>41733926Such as? I don't listen to much but I'd like to hear more. Off the top of my head I've heard my solid ground and I like the rolling stones, beyond that it's technically 60s, like the deviants.
>>41732661heres the data for you fren, in case you want it
>>41733945Foghat, Allman Brothers, Sabbath, (only) early Aerosmith, Zappa, Boston, Steve Miller Band, Heart, Grand Funk Railroad, ZZ Top, Deep Purple, Blackfoot, Rush(im seeing rush live next year), Yes, Emerson Lake + Palmer, George Thorogood, Cheap Trick, early Talking Heads and Oingo Boingo technically countTed Nugent, the Ramones, The Clash, Parliament/Funkadelic, Alice Cooper, Buffalo Springfield, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Specials, Scorpions(big fan) Van Halen technically counts tooCCR, AC/DC, Steely Dan, Blondie, Thin Lizzy, Styx, King Crimson, Jeff Beck, and so on.You can find me at the sports bar with my friends double my age
where did ogre go...
>>41733945>>41733945I can recommend you albums for any of those guys if you'd like
>>41734439Please do
>>41734430I missed this (you) I'm blindI've heard of/listened to a few of these. Could you split it by genre? I know talking heads technically counts but I would want something like that separate from shit like aerosmith.I'm especially into the psychedelic/hippie stuff.
>>41733683PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
>>41734470>>41734490K im at work ill do so when i get a chanceYou would like Deep Purple though. Listen to Space Truckin and Burn
>>41734494Wya anon? Also you won’t pussy out when it comes to actually saying it, will you?
>>41734634I would fly out and pay you to have sex with me and be my boyfriend. But, U.S.Obviously not.
Any experience with steroids? Not sure where to start. Would like to do oral only but reddit says it's bad for T, but I supplement T so it should be fine right? I have 0 knowledge on the subject.
