I've only latched onto thinking I'm trans in an attempt to escape my visceral self hatred and the naive belief that grass would be greener for me on the other side. It's been over a year of me trying to desperately prove to myself that I'm trans, even to the point of developing pseudo dysphoric feelings, but it's been all for nothing. No matter the effort, I can't change who I am, and I've been proven again and again that I really am just cis. Yet, I'm too stubborn to accept it. It's started to take a huge mental toll on me, constantly filling me with intense dread whenever I think about being a man, and how I'd be actually dysphoric if I were to transition. The dread is so persistent that even my dreams have turned into nightmares showing me how I'm in denial, and that I need to accept that I'm a man.I desperately need to finally accept it, yet every time I try to, I feel like I'm loosing my mind. Please, any advice would be highly appreciated.
>>41740726Another one that wants to transition, under the weak guise of 'omg i dont deserve it no you guys haha i dont want it please persuade me haha'. Look, whatever you want, not judging but stop being so dishonest. why else would you come here? Another straight male invading homo spaces
>>41740756I came here in hopes of some advice. Where else could I post this? I'm sorry for being just a man taking up space on this board.I've also tried transitioning already, and it unfortunately wasn't for me. I couldn't do it even if I wanted to
>>41740726fuck off cissoid. so tired of confused cissoids coming here and whining to trannies with actual problems and expecting us to act like your therapist. stop demanding emotional labor from trans ppl. “booohoooo im actually not a persecuted minority my life is so hard why can’t I be dysphoric waaah” shut the fuck up already Jesus Christ I can’t stand you fucking ppl anymore
>>41740775Sorry for being tonedeaf and stupid
>>41740726>Please, any advice would be highly appreciatedPlease don't go committing any mass shootings
>>41740791
>>41740791>>41740810I may be mentally ill, but not in this regard. I would never willingly harm anyone
>>41740775>only trannies LIKE ME can have problems>can't take 5 seconds to empathize with someone's struggles regardless of identity
>>41740855>nooooo you have to cater to the plights of the cissies invading the tranny board cuz you just do ok?shut up retard
>>41740726same I thought taking e would make me trans but no still a cis moid. still can’t figure out how to accept it
>>41740726Please just be normal and eat estrogen
>>41740726why not just not pretend u have something u don't have???if u don't on some level have some kernel of ur personality where u 'see' or 'expect to see' a woman (or man for ftm), whether or not it causes distress... then it doesn't apply to u, right?but it's ur life so do w/e and ppl will say it's valid and all that, but iunno, just never expect it to be something it isn't, unless it is and ur not admitting it for w/e reasonhope that helps
>>41740843No offense but you fit the profile perfectly, surprised a domestic intelligence agency hasn't groomed you yet
>>41740866Try having empathy, soulless narcissist
>>41740899>if u don't on some level have some kernel of ur personality where u 'see' or 'expect to see' a womanI know I have no part of me which should 'expect to see' a woman, but at this point I've gaslight myself into expecting there to be such a part of me and then being mortified every time I realize there isn't. That's also the source of my pseudo dysphoria, where I'm distressed by not being distressed that I'm a man, which obviously causes a ton of cognitive dissonance.
>>41740871Being stuck as a cis moid no matter what you do really sucks
>>41740726I swear this phenomenon of "dysphoric about being cis" types is just a niche way of repressing. Why the hell would anyone prefer to be trans if they weren't obviously trans? Are you sure you don't just feel dysphoric when transitioning because you don't immediately pass?
>>41740726just take it. Never had GD or trans thoughts and i started taking it for vapid and vain aesthetical and relationsship reasons. You would feel if its wrong to you in the first months i would imagine but i'm an npc observer my whole life so nothing really felt different for me.
>>41740726Lucky for you I figured this out an hour ago. You conflate the results of your actions, with the state you're in afterwards. If you look clearly, what you achieve has a result, and that you feel male and like shit is what makes you feel male and like shit afterwards. You can generalize this to any experience and see the feeling resulting from the one going in doesn't change. So why do you link male and feeling like shit? "When gender comes down on us, it comes as a restriction." Male is what other people put on you to frame you as evil, no matter how you act. You lost all sense of control, because even the interpretation doesn't relate to Hythe interpretation in any predictable manner, often it's flipped on it's head. The only way out is if you were actually as bad as they say, which you aren't. That would deny yourself. Getting told how you're a male, and that means a rapist overpowering women automatically with his strength as a twink might hit home for many.So you develop the coping mechanisms, that while you're not read as male you can be emotionally safe and maintain agency. But this is succeeding the power to others, and they'll be quick to remind you of what you are in their eyes and therefore have to be. For this to talk hold, you're internal perception must always be in a slightly negative state, likely a constant signal resulting from chronically inflammatory autoimmune disease. You have thyroid lesions and likely low cortison response. Go to nuclear medicine, hormone levels alone don't show it.Despite everything, you're likely still not male, otherwise you would have risen up to it. On the inside, you don't have a gender identity, but you want equality in the relationships you are safe in. You have a lesbian sense of relationship. This description could fit exactly on a majority of actually lesbian transbians
>>41741296If that really were the case, then transition would've felt right at least in some regards to me. Unfortunately it didn't, and I stopped hrt because I started dreading transitioning in general.I obviously wouldn't want to be trans, but I really wish I could be more than just a man
>>41741398What did you dislike about transitioning? What do you dislike about being a man?
>>41741414>What did you dislike about transitioning?It started feeling deeply wrong, and it not only reinforced that I'm cis, but it unfortunately also made me feel like I was making myself actually dysphoric, and not simply pseudo dysphoric as I am now. I really wanted to want the effects of estrogen, and hoped it would feel right, but it unfortunately didn't.>What do you dislike about being a man?I can't really clearly define my dissatisfaction with being a man. There's just this overwhelming suffocating indifference. Being apathetic shouldn't actually bother me too much, since it means that I don't actually feel any direct distress, but this apathy is slowly killing me, simply because it makes living feel like a thankless task. Always sowing, never reaping.
>>41741454Reality is a bitch. There's no place in society for a third gender, and if youve not surrounded yourself with other troons irl you become completely isolated if you decide to transition. Sorry to say but there's no one to help people in our position unless you stay quiet and pretend its not a problem
>>41741373The last 3 paragraphs I feel are very accurate when applied to my situation, but the second paragraph is just schizobabble
>>41741792Troons gulp down edibles, unleash their deranged nonsense to the world and think they're Socrates. Many such cases.
date other men without restricting how you can have sex with them, or feeling the need to be totally submissive towards them
>>41741828I don't experience attraction at all and have no desire to be in a relationship
>>41741876just force yourself into itits about talking to men, you don't even have to have sex, just get close to them, physically and verbally you've been repressing your sexuality since ever, and it made you think you were trans because women are allowed to act on their sexuality without being shamed like men are
>>41741948I don't like men sexually. No interest in forcing something that isn't there
Meditation is the answer. It is a direct way to connect with your actual identity.
>>41742014BECAUSE society has told you if you do like men, you are the worst thing possible, and will at that point deserve to be treated with brutality by everyone
>>41742040What medication? Antipsychotics?
>>41741809That's the best part about getting high as a tranny
just stop trying to be trans and live your life normally
>>41743170I've been trying this for over a year, but being consciously aware of the fact that I continue to be a man is slowly eroding my sanity
bump
>>41744271ur probably just a repper. take estrogen and be less annoying
>>41745035I wish
>>41740726>"the naive belief that grass would be greener for me on the other side"Ngl for me it isBut I guess part of that is kuz I hate my body and feel (and look) way better like this>"constantly filling me with intense dread whenever I think about being a man"Ummm ya sameThat sounds like being a tranny anon?Why dont you go on blokkers ,just for a bit ,to see if it eases your anxiety about bekome male and more maskuline as you age
ngl it just sounds like youre repping crazy hard. DIYing estrogen is insanely cheap, just try it for a few months and see how you feel lowk. if youre having nightmares about being a man then i dont think that's "pseudo dysphoria", its just dysphoria.
