>be me stupid 20 year old tranny that takes hrt for 2 years (no one notices anything at all)>live with parents and brother that i'm not out to, have the same room as my brother>we both study at university so sometimes one of us returns a little sooner depending on shedule>I have a habit that when I am alone at home I tell myself some shit out loud like "I will never be a woman" "No one will see me as a woman" "I will never be feminine or pass as a woman" "I'm a stupid tranny" and etc etc>at one of these days I returned home and because I didnt hear anything happening and my mom was just leaving home I decided to do that again>and after about 2 minutes of this I went to our room and see my brother at the desc>wtf what the fuck>"were not you at university today?">it takes a couple of seconds for him to reply>"One of our lectures were postponed... (Deadname)">why he called me by name in the end>fuck my stupid tranny lifeI really hope he will just see me being weird and would not tell my parents about that holy shit what should I even do now
>>41745592How conservative is your family?
>>41745679I can not really say, my mom is quite progressive-leaning but I can not predict reaction that will go from my dad. Like, probably nothing BAD would not happen to me but if he will tell I will probably be seen as not being sane and well. Still anxious about this all shit though
>>41745592You should have sex with your brother
>>41745819this
>>41745819this board does not change... even if one could think it does...
>>41745592>thinks is alone>makes active decision to say "I will never be a woman" out loudThat kind of self loathing is exactly what this board is for.If you're just going to say it out loud, why are you even posting here?
>>41745876there is a difference between silently self-loathing on the board and constantly reminding myself though verbalizing it... i just have got a habit for some reason
>>41745876I say "I'm going to kill myself" all the time when I'm alone because it's a way of verbally self harming as a stimSometimes I say it when people walk past me which probably alarms them a bit
>>41745941let this be a lesson to stop doing that shit. even beyond the fact you got caught, verbalizing these doomer thoughts reinforces your self loathing
>>41746023yo same but more just a "kill yourself" usually when i look in the mirror or think about my existence or something embarrassing i did
>>41746064yeah this will definitely be an effective lesson to me... god I hope it will be fine god i hope
>>41746087based fellow suicide threatener
>>41746087my people
>brotherdon't need to read anymore you sick fuck
>>41746087i'm not even suicidal and i do this wtf
