It's been a bit over a year ever since I've got pseudo dysphoria. If I don't manage to make it go away by the end of the year, I'll look into trying antipsychotics.I've been trying everything to make it go away, and yet it persists. I don't want to transition, and I'm fine with being a man, but my pseudo dysphoria is making me want to flay myself because I'm a man. It's surely not as bad as actual gender dysphoria, but I'm barely functional anymore at this point, because it's all I'm thinking about and nothing is able to distract me anymore.
Uh obvious autistic threat and you have real GD and need to get on estrogen ASAP but here's what happens if you take antipsychotics and SSRIs>you get chubby through rapid weight gain>you feel happy and content because of more dopamine>body image improves and you begin to accept your feminine tranny feelings>you get horny but dick might not work>start wanting to fuck guys really bad>dysphoria is blunted so you don't care as much you're not a woman.If you take those drugs it will just make you fat and gay, you'll still be AGP and you will still transition and it might even happen faster.Right now your depression and rage is the only think keeping you from trooning out. Only drug and alcohol addiction can slow it down.
>>41880555Sorry I said dopamine when I meant serotonin
Interesting! It's been a bit over a year ever since I've got pseudoephedrine. If I don't manage to turn it into meth by the end of the year, I'll look into trying P2P.
>>41880555I have no feminine tranny feelings. I have no sexual desires. I have no true dysphoria. I have no AGP.I am depressed, but I really refuse to believe that I'm actually dysphoric. That's why I'm calling it pseudo dysphoria, because I'm not actually dysphoric. I just keep thinking I'm dysphoric, so I can have a scapegoat for to blame my pathetic existence on
>>41880573I probably should try meth before antipsychotics. Thanks for the idea
>>41880457Either actual GD or OCD. Seek specific treatment for either.
>>41880812It feels like both and neither at the same time. I can't believe it to be genuine dysphoria, but at the same time it can't really be OCD because I don't gave OCD afaik. I have no other obsessions or compulsions
>>41880835dysphoria is hell and will trick you into thinking its not what it is I respect your perception but there's a good chance that it is what it is.
>>41880860Is there any way I could tell whether that's the case? I feel like I'm just too fine with being a man for it to be gender dysphoria. Like, yeah, my life is hollow and miserable despite everything superficially being going well, but it feels like that's all just my fault and not actually because of gender dysphoria. I'm trying my best to enjoy living, but I can barely bear my existence, even having supportive friends and a loving family. I don't feel human
im in a very similar situation like you op. not even therapy has really helped unfortunately
>>41881103I'm kinda glad I'm not totally alone in this. Pseudo dysphoria really should be studied and recognized at least somewhat
>>41880457Most contemporary art is passionless bs, but I really like the art piece in picrel. Too bad it's out of commission now
>>41880908Can I please get some input on this? I'm sorry for my desperation
>>41882037you are both a loser and a retard. hope this helps
>>41882037as a non dysphoric, this doesn't sound like it's lgbt related, it sounds like you have mental illness which causes you to hate yourself, your ego is unwell, psychedelics can help with this
>>41882797You're probably right that I'm just mentally ill. I guess I just forgot to add that my mental illness makes me intensely hate that I'm a man, and I sometimes wonder whether it's the other way around. If I hate being a man because I'm mentally ill, or whether I'm mentally ill because I hate being a man.
>>41880457stop repressing and do what you want to do faggot.go out and suck gock and wear a dress.if you dont like estrogen makes you feel, stop taking it before you grow tits. they dont magically appear.
>>41882942It doesn't feel like I'm repressing though. It really feels like my "dysphoria" is self induced and something I'm forcing upon myself, and that if I were to just let myself be, I would forget I ever had any issues with being a man. Although, I can't help but incessantly think about my "dysphoria", and wonder whether I actually want to transition or not. I come to the conclusion that I don't want to transition again and again, yet each time I do, I feel completely miserable.I'm putting "dysphoria" in quotes here, because I doubt that it's even actual dysphoria, since I don't actually feel no distress from being a man, but I feel distress from the lack of distress.
>>41883032do you want to be a man or do you resign yourself to being a man?do you feel things when you think about being a girl?make a list of pros/cons and post it here?
>>41883130>do you want to be a man or do you resign yourself to being a man?It feels like both. I feel like being a man is what comes naturally to me and what I'm comfortable with, but at the same time I can't help but hate it, and feel like I'm resigning myself to it. There are actually quite a few things I pragmatically appreciate about being a man, like being strong without effort or the social privileges, but there are very few things I truly love about being a man. There are quite a few effects of testosterone I think are quite disgusting but tolerable, like the smell or oilier skin and body hair.>do you feel things when you think about being a girl?Unfortunately I barely feel anything whenever I try to imagine anything. Although, most of the time when I seriously consider transition it quickly goes from something that appears appealing to something rotten. I can't help but feel like I would actually come to hate anything that might seem appealing to me now. I wish I could enjoy the effects of estrogen for example, but I can't shake the feeling the feeling that it will just feel wrong and foreign. Same goes for socially transitioning as well.
>>41883130>make a list of pros/cons>Being a manPros:-being a manCons:-being a man>Being a womanPros:-Being a woman and not being a manCons:Being trans and probably some aspects of being a woman
>>41883489take e and nandrolone, you can get nice skin and stay strong. see if e helps your mental. if life is already intolerable, how much worse can it get? you cant enjoy the effects of estrogen if you dont take it...and you dont need to socially transition until you are ready. physical effects wont appear for a while and youll know if you enjoy it and want to continue or just want to stop because its not helping.
>>41883506it doesnt really sound like you enjoy being a man though. the only benefit you ascribed was social privileges that you earlier said want to make you want to flay yourself. it sounds your only con for taking hormones is being trans, and female oppression. it kinda just sounds like youre scared. realizing youre maybe trans is scary, and it keeps people in the closet which make people not do anything about it until they absolutely cannot or they rope. probably worth saving the rope for last? not sure if you look at dysphoria resources outside /tttt/ but frankly, 4chan is best for shitposting and fedposting. for trans shit its basically only good for acquiring brainworms, and using medical terms from the 1950s. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en isnt complete dogshit. try seeing if anything you read here resonates with you but if youre struggling probably the worst place to spend time is on /tttt/ hehe 4chans fun but if youre on mentally shaky ground itll feed on it
>>41880457I was poisoned with ssris for 10 years, fucked me over, ruined my brain, i used to be smartI have been transitioning since 2 years ago
>>41883704I actually did try taking e for a couple of months, but I stopped when the effects started to become more visible because I was still extremely unsure whether I really wanted it or not. The uncertainty eventually became too much to bear and got out of control to the point where I started dreading the effects of e. It's hard for me to tell whether I experienced genuine reverse dysphoria, or just very intense worries and fear.>>41883820I know it doesn't sound like I enjoy being a man, but I also don't really hate it in the same way other trans people do. It very much feels like I'm forcing myself to hate it.Also, resources like genderdysphoria.fyi are what initially got me into this whole mess, letting me convince myself that my amorphous self hatred was actually gender dysphoria, and that transitioning might be the answer, instead of working on loving myself. I only got to lurk on 4chan because most other trans spaces felt full of confirmation bias and performative positivity.
>>41884021its good to hear are looking at other resources as there is a lot of confirmation bias everywherehormones can help some people, but sometimes dont and people dont vibe with them. how did you feel on hormones? did you feel any better, aside from feeling like the effects were visible and that potentially giving you pause?honestly, i would look into therapy if thats feasible and see what you sort out. it does seem like you are really preoccupied about trans/queer issues on your mind.a lot of places will do sliding scale if money and insurance is an issue.
>>41884141>how did you feel on hormones?I actually felt no different while on hormones, except for the constant anxiety of worrying that I was making a mistake. There were definitely moments where I was happy with the effects, but they were fleeting and never enough to get rid of my worries.Therapy is something I'm looking into, but getting an appointment with a therapist who's not clueless about gender issues is quite the struggle.
>>41884313yeah, finding therapists online is a good strategy for that because depending on your area it may be low on choices and finding a therapist is a crap shoot and if you dont vibe with someone like look for another one.can i ask what your dosage was for your e? if it was thru informed consent, they are pretty horrible sometimes with low dosage and also being a crapshoot for how informed they are on hormones.
>>41884404I ordered diy hrt about a month after finding out about its existence. I did monotherapy and my dosage was 7mg EEn weekly. Didn't check my hormone levels, but I'm very sure they were good, since I started feminizing quite quickly
>>41883820wrong, this board is one of the only genuine resource for lgbt related issuesif you have to read an essay to discern if you have gender dysphoria or not, you don't have gender dysphoria.
>>41884594How do I get rid of my pseudo dysphoria then, since it's very obviously not actual gender dysphoria
>>41884468thats...a large dose
>>41885716I wanted to make sure it would definitely suppress my testosterone, since I had no AAs and I didn't do any blood tests
bump
>>41880457>want to flay myself because I'm a man.>I'm barely functional>It's surely not as bad as actual gender dysphoriaListen to yourself
>>41887346The reason why I really doubt that it's actual gender dysphoria is because I don't actually feel any distress from my sexually dimorphic traits. I am completely fine with seeing my male face and male body, which really makes me doubt that I'm experiencing genuine gender dysphoria, and not just something else entirely which I transmogrified into a weird sort of pseudo dysphoria.
>>41886050Too high estrogen levels could make you feel like shit, so your high dose might've actually worked against you
>>41887389you're in limbonobody else is going to save you
>>41880457How about anitboiotics
>>41888673It certainly feels like it
>>41887389I have that as well. I don't get dysphoric over any traits but I get a pit in my stomach every time I see a cute girl and remember I can never be her. I think mine is a manifestation of a fetish or some kind of crossed wires where I should be attracted to women, though. Or maybe we were just taught to think like this by tranny society.
>>41890941This is really relatable. It does feel like I'm actively gaslighting myself into being "dysphoric" just because I can't shake the feeling that the grass may be greener on the other side. I know it isn't though, but that does little to help me stop obsessing over it
>>41888731Can't take them since I'm cis
>>41885204You don't. Good luck
>>41882760I know that much, but being reminded is humbling
>>41880835>I can't believe it to be genuine dysphoriahow come
>>41897098Because I feel like being a man isn't causing me any direct distress, and that I would be genuinely dysphoric if I actually were a woman. My sense of self feels so viscerally male that I can't imagine ever being anything else, which to me also means that all the "dysphoria" I feel from being male is me making it up, instead of it being genuine. I also can't bring myself to enjoy anything feminine because of this, no matter whether I would want to enjoy it or not
>>41893592please be kinderi really need help
>>41898513Need help with what?
>>41898750dealing with pseudo dysphoria
>>41898993How does your pseudo dysphoria manifest. I'm op, and I'm curious whether it's similar to mine
allow me to explain. humans are limited in our ability to percieve the outside world, which is foreign to us and incomprehensibly complex. we cant fit it all into our heads. so we break it down, we invent concepts and ideas to roughly summarize what we are experiencing. because this is the only way we can experince our life. we often believe that these concepts represent the "real" in some way. but they dont.Its like how people say there are AGP and HSTS trannies, like thats the summation of everything they are and their motivation to transition, theres no such thing. Its a typology invented by a guy to try and explain an incomprehensibly complex social, biological and psychological phenomena.Whatever you think you are experiencing, psuedo-dysphoria or dysphoria. They are basically the same thing. The only difference is you lack the ability to believe in it. You have the desire to transition, but you are alienated from it at the same time, you dont think you deserve it. Why? Probably a reason totally unique to you. Your desires are just an immanetization of all the things that have happened to you and how you processed it. Why did I want to transition? Was it jealousy of girls? Was it feeling insecure about being a man? Was it feeling ugly? Do I not like looking masculine? Am I gay? Did I watch too much porn? Did other trans people or culture influence me? What about my genes, hormones. Did my parents neglect me? Do I have a weak father and a domineering mother? Was it because I was bullied as a child and bad at sports? I dont know. Just dont pigeonhole yourself. Dont label yourself. You arent psuedodysphoric, faketrans or whatever. Its all made up. Its just a simulation.
>>41901654i'd read your blog if you had one
>>41901654Well, I agree with you point that "It's all made up" in order to break down the complexity of the outside world and make it comprehensible to us, so we can better navigate it. But that's exactly why I'm specifying that I'm experiencing pseudo dysphoria and not genuine dysphoria, since I do believe that there is a clear and distinct difference between the two. Regular gender dysphoria is what trans people experience and what motivates transitioning, since transitioning is more or less just palliative care for it and should in theory improve the life of trans people. Pseudo dysphoria on the other hand appears just like regular dysphoria, but the person experiencing it wouldn't benefit from transitioning whatsoever. It has a fundamentally different cause, which needs to be addressed in order to alleviate the pseudo dysphoria
>>41902338whooosh or psyop
>>41903439I'm way too stupid to make any deliberate attempt at a psyop
>>41880457take your HRT, retard
>>41906406I would if I were able to see what it would improve
