I'm 4 years hrt and boymode to work still what step do I start at?

>>41887913
Assuming no surgeries I would start at stage 1. Whatever your hormonal profile is, you have a psychological block because you're clinging to a male identity, which is a near universal problem.

This is supposed to be a long reconditioning process. If some steps come easier or are done already, maybe you can speed it up a bit. But I think the priority for you is to feminize your habits and mannerisms on the minute level. Behaviors inform thoughts, and thoughts ultimately inform your psyche. Your brain is like damp, cold clay. It feels hard, but it's actually a lot softer than an old person's. With patience and consistency, you can still mold it.

But on the bright side

>>41888404

"on the bright side" was just leftover from an edit, sorry : )

>>41888404
What if I'm a honmoder but also still feel like I have a male identity?

>>41887627
have you considered that you were actually just a straight tranny faggot all along anon? because this
>this guide is for people who are 100% committed to breaking their straight male identity.
really sounds like something only someone who doesn't actually have a straight male identity would say

>>41887627
Sounds like bs desu...
While this made my pp hard... what if I find men gross af ?
Its not worth transitioning if I cant enjoy being with men.

>>41887627
This is an interesting concept, and I think there probably is a correct order of operations to go through.

I started with HRT first, guy moded and did laser for 2.5 years... just in the last 3 months or so have I started not having any beard shadow. Of course looking like a guy stalled things and built up bad habits. Now i'm trying to unstick my transition.

>>41887627
why are there two step 12s?

>>41888465

Possibly! But I was insecure and crippled by doubt. All I knew was that something wasn't right and I wanted to be gay or trans despite feeling like a straight cis male. With this process, I realized I have a strong female identity, and am actually bisexual with a heavy preference for men, and the self knowledge is what makes life so good!

>>41888457

I get this question a lot. If you feel male but want to be feminine, I recommend starting this process from the beginning. Keep presenting as a woman and taking HRT, but work on purging remaining male habits, indulge in self exploration, explore being gay and having gay sex, you can definitely learn a thing or two about what being male really is by trying to do that! After you've done that I would recommend orchiectomy and sex reassignment, these surgeries can also really help with psychological feminization when you're ready.

>>41888532

Sis I was the same way as you. Everyone thinks men are "gross," female heterosexuality is kind of a socially enforced thing! If you want to be a cute girl just follow my guide, force yourself to have some gay sex. After you've done the whole process if you are still sure you like girls you can be bi or a lesbian and you will be authentically feminine!

>>41888903

Being on HRT is great, for some people that's an extremely hard step. There's nothing "wrong" with doing steps early. But my process is designed for pathological repping detranny cis hey males who don't think they even have real dysphoria. My process is designed to break down meb and rebuild them as successful women.

>>41889195

Typo lol

>>41889271
>I get this question a lot. If you feel male but want to be feminine, I recommend starting this process from the beginning. Keep presenting as a woman and taking HRT, but work on purging remaining male habits, indulge in self exploration, explore being gay and having gay sex, you can definitely learn a thing or two about what being male really is by trying to do that! After you've done that I would recommend orchiectomy and sex reassignment, these surgeries can also really help with psychological feminization when you're ready.

I have purged most of my male habits, and even some femme ones that have "male memories" attached (I struggle to cook anymore because I have strong memories of cooking as a mentorship activity for my younger brother).

Sex with men hasn't really happened yet though. Kinda terrified of it even though I am really attracted to some.

>>41889293

Well you have to run before you can walk. To get started just go on a gay app, no one will care if you pass there. However filter guys carefully. Do NOT meet someone who pressures you or who doesn't respect you. Just patiently filter out all the noise (and obviously there's lots of gross shitty guys to filter). Basically just get some action. Do this a couple times until you're more comfortable and confident. Then when you feel better about yourself, assuming you don't have a boyfriend already, you can move into a more conventional cishet dominated environment. Some transbian exploration will probably happen at some point.

The point is to patiently worked through all these doubts about "what if I'm just a guy" "what if I'm just gay" "what if I'm just straight" "what if no guys will like me" whatever you have going on-- experimenting will help you figure it out. And if you find out you're not actually a trans woman doing all this and are some nonbinary femme thing, that's a good thing. Believe me I wouldn't have got SRS if I didn't still have erection dysphoria after doing all of these steps.

>>41889282
oh okay based chart human made

>>41889379
I'm in a very odd spot because I have done transbian exploration. Sometimes it felt right, but only as more of a guy. Other times it feels very wrong.

I do think I'm more androphilic than gynephilic now but it's very inconsistent. I even had phases like this before HRT.

I actually pass decently well? Like, womanly but a little clocky ofc.

I also think I feel more comfortable in cishet environments. Queer spaces have always felt off to me, and the trans spaces I've been in I feel awkward in again. Sort of backsliding in comfort in there I guess.

I often have dysphoria over erections but sometimes they're good. It's weird. I think I like the feeling of being aroused but not the erection itself.

>>41889379
>Believe me I wouldn't have got SRS if I didn't still have erection dysphoria after doing all of these steps.
What do you think about using surgery to force one through these steps? I'm planning to get FFS early next year and im planning for that to force me to stop manmoding at work.

How did SRS change you in the context of this journey you have prescribed?

Also, based as fuck thread!!

>>41887627
Is there any way to do it the other way around and go from gay to straight?

>>41887627
OP, more please!! Ideally a paragraph about each step. If you do, I'll make this my transition bible!

>>41887627
how long ago did you start hrt? do you consider you transition finished? how long did it take?

>>41889412

Well the better passing you are the easier it's going to be. But it's more about your mentality than the minutiae of passing. I think everything you say tracks with being a binary mostly heterosexual woman, and i definitely know what it's like to work through all these doubts. I find women very attractive, but i know now that i don't want to play the male role or even the top role in sex or relationships. As for starting with guys i basically had to force some exposure and let the hormones do the rest, but i could feel that I was moving in the right direction.

As for surgery, you should start with orchi and see how you feel from that. It won't stop erections if you still want those. For bottom surgery, I think that rather than focusing on whether your dysphoria is "severe" enough, just focus on whether you'd prefer a vagina, or a vulva, and how you feel about using the dick. Many who transition as adults don't have constant, severe dysphoria, we just prefer being women.

>>41889455

I know someone who did this, manmoded for years until FFS. it can be a viable strategy, but people who know you will still gender you male post ffs, they will just do a double take. You will still need to come out and switch modes, it will still be awkward and still take a long time to learn how tomalefic, and changing your voice will still be nerve wracking. FFS will help with strangers and you might even malefail, it will cut down your dysphoria and it will make it easier to pass and not get misgendered. But it's not a miracle surgery that stops you from having to do the same work as other trannies.

>>41889702

I don't know. Personally I think being LGBT is so stigmatized and society is so heteronormative that being heterosexual and having a traditional family is so sought after that you don't have that many LGBT who are closet straight.

Now of course it does happen sometimes but I think it presents differently. Most LGBT people do try to force themselves to be straight and find out that it doesn't work. So there's kind of a one way filtration process in place currently that results in LGBT people being a small minority. Although one day who knows, I suppose comp bi could become a thing one day. But I doubt it. Human culture is clearly extremely conservative.

>>41887627
what do you think about wanting to change physical appearance / voice but maintain the same personality?

>>41889759

3.75 years ago. I consider myself "almost" done. I have decided I'm going to stop getting surgery. I still have to recover from bottom surgery, do a little more voice training, maybe some botox on the trapezius muscles and some microneedling on the face. Probably another 6-9 months. Of course this is totally a matter of choice. Transitioning never really ends, you just make choices about what you need and what you don't.

>>41887627
how did you come up with this guide?

>>41887627
can you say more about how you used hypno? what was a normal routine for you?

I have some kei light files that are really powerful but I really only use them to goon while high.

Do you have artist/file reccomendations?

>>41890049
bambi sleep is the most powerful, if you're willing to go all the way.

>>41887627
shouldn't HRT be step 1? thats a lot to to ask masculine people to do

>>41889987

I think that personality always changes over time and you have some control over this, you learn what values are important to you, you learn how to become more confident about yourself. I don't think you need to fear your personality changing, i thing you need to fear is stagnating in an underdeveloped personality without ever becoming aware of what your shortcomings are. Hopefully that makes sense.

>>41887627
Do you think this guide is solely for people who have dysphoria? Or does it work for straight guys with no dysphoria?

why are so many straight trans girls into this weird misogynistic/self-hating fetish shit? why can't you just be a girl that likes men and be normal about it?

>>41887627
no information in these steps about practicing a passing voice, which is arguably the hardest part.

this is some r/mtf shit

>>41890023

Lots of repressing people and those with crippling doubt about their transitions have asked me for help because I transitioned as an adult and don't have a typical transition story. I basically talked with so many people about it i started to boil it down to a chronological process.

>>41890049

My favorite was Isabella valentine. I also listened to an emperor hypnosis series of music videos, it's been years. I listened to lots of different ones.

>>41890096

Bambi sleep was actually not my favorite personally, but I think it did listen to them. I recall that the affirmations/instructions were a little bit too vague.

>>41890097

I think HRT can be started at any time, I love estrogen and think it's important to start early. However, many people have a lot of doubt and hesitation surrounding HRT. maybe they just don't want to be trans because they can't be a youngshit. For me, I simply wasn't ready, I had to explore other possibilities first. This guide is for people who yearn for some kind of transition but can't commit because they're convinced they can't be trans.

>>41889746

I'll get right on that and post when I get the chance!

>>41890388
omg if you could make a post with expanded versions of each step it could seriously change some lives ty ty ty <3

>>41890153

I think your over policing trans women's sexuality, i don't think there's anything misogynistic about any of this. I think the real problem is that trans women suffer from comp het, internalized homophobia, anxiety, doubt and fear and need to smash through it. If anything they need reassurance that it isn't misogynistic to explore their sexuality or even having fetishes isn't misogynistic and it doesn't invalidate their identity as women. Cis Women have fetishes and sexuality too. But cis women don't need to transition from male to female to enjoy them.

>>41890151

This guide is for people who have little to no obvious dysphoria, but want to change themselves regardless. I don't believe "severity" of dysphoria should stop anyone. If you simply don't want to be a cis het male, that's enough.

>>41887627
How do friends and family fit into this?

>>41890388
>For me, I simply wasn't ready, I had to explore other possibilities first.
What finally snapped you out of it and got you commit this hard?

>>41887627
what if i refuse to do anal and cant have sex until i get srs because i have stomach probs. if i dont offer my ass up, how am i goong to fuck with guys?

>>41890236

This is one of the hardest parts yes. Personally I just drew on my naturally feminine voice i had a child and tried to reconstruct it.

>>41890376

Everyone always tries to be like, you're a reddit hon, you don't pass, you're an AGP sissy, and it's stupid. I'm sick of detranny threads, repper threads, boy/man moder threads, and doom posting. I am trying to explain to people over 18 who are socialized male and scared that they could never ever be female how they can fix it. And I pass btw i will face reveal on discord with anyone who wants me to prove it.

>>41890434
Its in the guide. I recommend coming out to friends and family at 6 months HRT after scheduling orchi and doing name change then. Although if you follow the guide you will already be out to them as gay/nonbinary by then.

You can't change your sexuality. A straight man will never enjoy having sex with men. A gay man will never enjoy sex with a woman. Stop wasting your life trying to change what you can't change about yourself.

>>41890492
bullshit, watching tranny porn exclusively made me go from pussy obsessed to completely indifferent. sexuality is fluid.

>>41890428
what was your personal motivation for not wanting to be a cis het male, if you had no dysphoria?

>>41890511
>pussy obsessed to completely indifferent.
Lmao being married will also do that to you. You are a straight man. Of course no straight man tries to transition to a woman without AGP being involved somehow. Try to solve that instead of destroying who you really are inside. Don't scar yourself or permanently mutilate yourself over a fetish.

>>41890477

That's a tough situation. As I see it your only option is to be a side and use only your mouth for that part. But you can't get penetrative orgasms that way. I personally would never let a man suck my dick because i would hate that.the way I seen it is, if you're going to force yourself to wear a dress, and force yourself to cut your balls off, you gotta be able to force yourself to take a cock up the rear.

But If you really can't do that you will have to do a traditional transition and just get right into it and get SRS as soon as you can. Again, this guide is not for everyone, but if you're a mid 20s man who is done with women and heterosexual life and wants to explore some type of feminine identity, this will get you there.

>>41890446

I had a relationship with a woman that made me unhappy and I felt i wanted to explore the depths of AGP and homoeroticism. Then I stalled I that phase for a while until a personal tragedy in my life made me realize the value of being authentic with the time you have. I had also tried and failed to transition in a more traditional way around age 18

>>41889993
im really curious how somebody with your perspective approached srs. how did you approach it psychologically? so far has it been like you imagined?

i try to imagine all the time what it will be like, what it will feel like. it's maddening having to wait to find out

>>41890492

You can't change your sexuality, but if you're an AGP repper who hates being male and just perform masculinity because it's easier and has become a habit, you can break that identity and break out of that habit.

I agree not everyone has the latent potential to do this. Obviously you need to have been desiring being trans or a femboy for many years to make this feasible.

But to your point I don't really believe in strict rules, I don't think many people are strictly one thing. I think people should be free to explore what they want for themselves. If it doesn't work, then they at least rule it out and move on.

>>41890524

I really disliked the social role of being a male and having to pursue women, I hated testosterone fueled lust for female bodies. I hated male fashion and male culture, male hobbies didn't interest me. I also didn't like the anger and crudeness expected of men. I felt if I became sexually submissive feminine it would allow me to be the person I wanted to be: caring, supportive, empathetic. Overall I just felt I'd be more motivated to pursue life. There were some physical upsides, like not going bald that I was interested in.

>>41890526

That guy is not me btw. I am OP.

>>41890567

I approached it through the prism of castration fetishism, I get aroused by being permanently unable to get hard or penetrate, as well as by being penetrated. I hadn't used my penis for sex for years by the time I got SRS. I had really wanted to not have erections and a tiny clit sized nub instead. However, I wasn't entirely satisfied with anal either due to the annoying prep and also the difficulty of achieving orgasm. So after considering the options, I realized SRS was the only thing that made sense for me.

>>41890643
you identify specifically wanting to become sexually submissive feminine, rather than simply feminine. was your sex life a major motivator in your decision?

>>41890654
where you were is where i find myself right now

this is a feel

>>41887627
do you like pineapple on pizza?

>>41890567

Oh I forgot to mention, the surgery results were better than I expected, I worried it would be underwhelming but it's more erotically pleasurable than being pre op by far.

>>41890667

For me, the sexual submission was not a core component of being feminine, it's purpose was to unmake the male ego, to jackhammer it apart so I could build something new. Now that I live as female and pass I feel I can finally explore feminity independant of sexuality. For example I can explore dressing more masc, or maybe date a woman, but i can do this in a feminine way. I wouldn't have ever been able to do this before transitioning, or early transitioning.

I think a lot of trans women run into a problem where they get frustrated that they can't pass or be seen as feminine, maybe they enthusiastically embraced a liberal view of gender, or claimed a lesbian identity right away. But they felt it was AGP and misogynistic and inauthentic to try to act feminine. Then they get depressed, sink into eternal boymoding or detransition, or they think their soul is male. so my goal is to get under the hood and just melt all the male circuitry. All the pride, coarseness, the cool tough guy attitude, the desire to fuck cis women and make babies, the pressure of being your parents son and carrying on the bloodline, it all has to be ripped out, violently, to make room for the new self.

>>41887627
This type of thread is why I brave the bullshit and come to 4chan

>>41890717
>Oh I forgot to mention, the surgery results were better than I expected, I worried it would be underwhelming but it's more erotically pleasurable than being pre op by far.

Omg, tell me more! Imagine you are telling preop you what it's like

>>41890699

This question feels sus... and I won't answer. You always have to wonder who might be watching.

>>41890717
you came off as quite horny in your OP - do you still have the same sex drive you did then?

>>41890717
>so my goal is to get under the hood and just melt all the male circuitry. All the pride, coarseness, the cool tough guy attitude, the desire to fuck cis women and make babies, the pressure of being your parents son and carrying on the bloodline, it all has to be ripped out, violently, to make room for the new self.
yes please!!!

>>41890743
bruh. u said u would answer questions... ok ill ask how tall are you then

>>41890755

I'm in the 98th percentile for female height in my country, which is in the western hemisphere. So, quite tall but not so tall that you don't see women my height around town.

>>41890747

Yes my sex drive has been consistently very high. However after transitioning it became manageable. I usually masturbate once or twice a day and want sex a couple times a week, but I'm not like always thinking of sex. It's at a level where I can usually just acknowledge it and move on with what I'm doing like a normal person.

>>41890791
same here. le sigh height sucks

>>41890741


Well, the clit feels psychologically a bit like a little microscopic dick... so you get horny but where you would have a boner, there's just an innocent vulva. But then you run some fingers over the hood and it feels like lightning crackles. I don't really even need to directly touch my clit to masturbate. The sensation of doing this is kind of overwhelming in a good way. It makes me feel like my whole body has turned to jelly i think the phallus is a symbolically potent structure, so being horny without that changes the whole dynamic. I no longer need to rationalize my feminity with having an erection.


Penetration is harder to describe, forgive me if this sounds unimaginative but being penetrated sexually in your vagina feels very feminine. it's a slower building pleasure, you're definitely being fucked and not the other way around, and you will likely want stimulation elsewhere to climax. You get stretched out a bit to accomodate the cock inside you. It's a powerful feeling. Honestly I sometimes forget i don't have a cervix, uterus, and ovaries because my brain has adapted to it very fast. But recovery is a long slog so just be patient.

>>41890915
I'm postop too and this is 100% my experience too - postop aesthetics are a solid "meh" but the sexual health improvement is indescribable.

In order of immediate pleasure, I think tongue feels better than fingers which feels better than penetration.

But - good fast, hard sex is dazzling. If he fucks properly and he's a decent size the friction will pull on your clitoral hood while he hits the nerves from underneath.

It also feels - RIGHT - in the way you mentioned, the feminity of it. I really like missionary because of that.

I almost think at this point that sex without penetration is a waste of time. I love going weak under someone much stronger. I love the pain of taking big guys. I love when they finish inside and it runs down my leg.

I'm sorry but OP reads as a hypersexual fetishization of trans identity. you do you sis but this but I think at the end of the day it's all hornyposting

>>41889746
>>41890415

Okay I will do paragraph summaries of each step:

>1. The breakup (if necessary)

when you come out to a partner you are very vulnerable, you might be afraid of losing them and by extension losing any hope of future happiness. You are also going to pressure yourself into being a lesbian to stay with a female partner. Most young women are accepting and are going to want to be sweet, protective and reassuring, but your transition will be shaped by who they are rather than by who you are and you might feel dependant on their validation for everything. You need space and time alone to find the new you, so clear that woman out. I prefer to start by coming out as gay because it implicitly conveys. Po interest in women, while modern trans women are presumed to like women and thus pressure themselves to like women.

2. Publicly coming out as gay is important because it's a dry run of eventually coming out as trans. It helps you break through the embarsssment of being seen as queer, and it primes everyone to later accept you as trans. It also invites women to socialize with you in a way similar to how they do with other women-- assuming you are not a potential sexual partner. It also delivers a hammer blow to the male ego and it front loads the awkwardness and embarassment of publicly acknowledging that you're a genetic dead end. Everyone will probably assume you're a bottom too.
So just tell your group chat, post it on Insta, etc. You don't need to tell your parents but if they find out just say you're questioning (i.e. the literal truth)

Cont.

>>41891066

>fetishization

yeah okay whatever that's just a buzzword it doesn't mean anything there is no right or pure way to be trans you don't like take a dysphoria test or like have to cut yourself or try to overdose to be true trans. Many idiots represss a long time thinking they're not true trans, the concept is harmful, retarded, and modern medecine says informed consent/self id is the standard.

File: coco-chanel.jpg (1.17 MB, 2253x3000)

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>buy a purse. carry everything in it. get a notebook and a few pens to pack in there as well.
>buy a perfume. I recommend estee Lauder beautiful but some ppl think its too strong. You can also get a good coco Chanel for around 80 dollars that will last you for months.
>have a feminine exercise regiment like pilates and even yoga. Focus on core and lower body work outs
>eat fiber rich meals regularly: carrots, yogurt, apples, salads are good too but avoid heavy dressings. I recommend light Italian.

>>41891110
please continue dear

>>41891169

Currently resting, will post the rest later

>>41889855
>Well the better passing you are the easier it's going to be. But it's more about your mentality than the minutiae of passing. I think everything you say tracks with being a binary mostly heterosexual woman, and i definitely know what it's like to work through all these doubts. I find women very attractive, but i know now that i don't want to play the male role or even the top role in sex or relationships. As for starting with guys i basically had to force some exposure and let the hormones do the rest, but i could feel that I was moving in the right direction.
>As for surgery, you should start with orchi and see how you feel from that. It won't stop erections if you still want those. For bottom surgery, I think that rather than focusing on whether your dysphoria is "severe" enough, just focus on whether you'd prefer a vagina, or a vulva, and how you feel about using the dick. Many who transition as adults don't have constant, severe dysphoria, we just prefer being women.

I definitely feel stuff around certain guys but it's hit or miss and I think my type is way out of my league.

As for an orchi, I have complications from my T being too low so I need to wait until I figure them out before I commit to any surgery. I'm trying to see Dr. Powers about my complications, actually, since my sister had issues too.

I do get dysphoria over my genitals a lot, and it's worse than before HRT. I've had times where things shrunk a lot though and that kind of made things worse so I'm paranoid. Think it's the constant sensory input from being shrunken or something.

>>41890643
>I really disliked the social role of being a male and having to pursue women, I hated testosterone fueled lust for female bodies. I hated male fashion and male culture, male hobbies didn't interest me. I also didn't like the anger and crudeness expected of men. I felt if I became sexually submissive feminine it would allow me to be the person I wanted to be: caring, supportive, empathetic. Overall I just felt I'd be more motivated to pursue life. There were some physical upsides, like not going bald that I was interested in.

This sounds like me. I wanted to become a kinder, better person.

how do i stop being a brickhon

>>41890915
Im going to hold on to this and hopefully it's enough to get me through electro and get me to the date

thank you

>>41892632
I am not excited for electro down there. Currently getting it for my face and it sucks.

>>41893499
Anon you are replying to. I have started with laser (I'm on my 2nd session) and it is way less pain than I was expecting relative to how my face was.

I'm scared about when I switch to electro too, but I'm cautiously optimistic it wont be as bad as I'm building it up in my head. And besides, if other girls get through it, we can too!

>>41893824
My hair color is not dark enough for laser, I don't think. It's gotten lighter on HRT. Went from red/brown to strawberry blonde down there.

Also dysphoria definitely gets way worse when I shave down there. It sucks.

>>41893842
Ah, bad roll with the hair color, but you must press on. We both must press on! WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!

The prize seems to be worth it

>>41893882
I am just scared because when the bottom dysphoria after shaving is bad, it's really bad. Like insanely awful.

I love my hair color except when it makes hair removal annoying.

>>41893907
I know, nona. For me it has been a slow boil. The basis of my transition is genital dysphoria but I had figured out how to disassociate so much from my dick that I could live with it. When I started transition, the risk/reward calc with SRS was "I want it, but I don't need it".

Now, I need it worse than I have ever needed anything in my life. When I read cool people like OP describe what their experience is with SRS, it makes me want to claw at the walls and scream out of envy, and my own anguish at what im currently stuck with. It's motivational, but it is also awful to go through.

I'm just going to hang on for dear life. It's all I can do. We probably wont meet again after this thread, so just remember when it gets bad, there is another anon out there going through it too. And she wants you to make it.

As for the hair, sorry I didn't mean to put down your color, it sounds really pretty actually! I personally wouldn't mind having something more interesting than the dark brown I have.

>>41894022
My hair color is overall weird. Black in some places, blonde in others, red in others still.

The hair on my head looks dramatically different based on lighting. I've been called blonde, brunette, and ginger in different photos taken within the span of a month lmao.

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I dont wanna be gay but I goon to the idea of becoming feminine. Lately I been doing kpop choreos and pilates in my room, I've bought girly headphones in lavender and overly girly romance books and comics. I feel like I'm making a joke out of myself in a way and it's giving me depression and heart pain to like ridicule my existence like this for a fetish, makes me wanna cry because of how weird and masochistic it is, but I want to keep going. I'm a normal cis guy who's quite masculine. Logical, deep voice, stoic, aggressive, etc.

>>41894648

yep I had my Kpop fetish phase too anon, way back when, before I started my process. I'm OP btw. I understand the depression and self loathing you're talking about and the inability to escape. Eventually I decided enough was enough and I was going to breakthrough, no matter what cost.

You don't have to be gay. Ultimately, the goal is to realize you can be whatever you want to be and be confident and pleased in your fundamental identity, to have no shame or doubts. I never seriously identified as gay, but I did experiment with the label and explored and inhabited the identity fully. It actually quickly made me realize my strong preference for binary gender presenting feminity.

The goal is not to "become gay" the goal is to break the shame, taboo, and feeling of having your girly identity being constrained by social mores. So, start my process. You don't need to troon out necessarily. Practice letting your feminine side out in your private life. Go out and fuck a guy or two just to experiment. It doesn't change your sexuality after all, you're going to remain in control. Maybe you are gay, maybe you're a genderfluid NB, maybe you're a heterosexual femboy, or feminine male. Don't you want to discover what it feels like to be liberated? Like just have zero shame about your interests, preferences, sexuality? And maybe you'll find like I did that transitioning is unquestionably right-- the process is designed to fully absorb and negate all the nagging doubts that hold us "straight masculine cis males" back. And your logical, stoic, aggressive self will still be there, just with some adjustments. For instance I am still quite logical, stoic, and aggressive by female standards I just have a cute, feminine spin on it that suits me. But your true identity is for you to discover.

My goal is not to "convert" cis het men who want to stay that way, it's just to help those who are absolutely fed up with those constraints and want to discover something new.

>>41894965
What do you recommend to a virgin who wants her first time to be with a guy she actually likes?

>>41887627
OP, how did you do voice training?

I think the sticking point for a lot of girls is gaining comfort with a feminine vocal tone and a feminine vocal expression. I know it is something I am fighting with as much as getting the technique down. How'd you do it? How did you get through when your feminine voice kind of works but isn't polished enough to bring to work or serious whatever?

>>41895343

>how did you do voice training

What i did to start is i recreated the memories of myself at the cusp of puberty when my voice started cracking and dropping, I remembered the faggy tendencies my voice had, and the things I consciously did to suppress those and make my voice more masculine. I remembered how terrified I was of being perceived as gay or effeminate. I examined my vocal habits carefully, and how those were influenced by the male characters and memetic concepts i had used to force it to be more masculine (like all the male accents, or joke characters i had imitated or weird monstrous sci fi characacters) from this i regained the awareness that my voice hadn't actually been naturally masculine. All gendered vocal behaviors are the product of social conditioning. Only someone characteristics are hormone /size influenced (mostly pitch, roughness). A lot of what boys do is simply try to not "talk gay" and then these habits become ingrained. This provided my foundation. initially I suppose I was just sounding like a little androgynous boy. The rest was simply just practice and habit-- talking in a girl voice causes strain and you learn how to stop straining and making it more and more natural and sustainable. If you only use girl voice you will eventually forget the male voice.

(Cont. 1/2)

>>41895343

(Cont. 2/2)

>how do you get through the rough early period?

I mean it just sucks, it's awful and embarassing. Only determination, practice, total commitment, and fearlessness can get you through that. No guide or practice can make early transition not awful and cringe inducing. The first ~6-12 months of girlmoding can be absolutely brutal, and doubt can make it impossible.

That's why my process focuses first on breaking the male ego and related taboos, negating the pride and the totems of masculine identity first, i.e. virility, masculinity, heterosexuality, resolving latent doubts about the legitimacy of trans identity, confronting age old prejudices and taboos. After "priming" yourself and lowering mental barriers, you then begin HRT. By the time you have to start girlmoding, you will have hopefully:

>experimented with gay/NB identity
>experienced protracted celibacy
>had gay sex
>used your femme voice in VC
>had extensive online interactions as a "trans woman" (even ERP)
>been versed in feminine grooming habits pre HRT (and knows how difficult that is)

You male ego and identity should be heavily undermined by that point having experienced all of these "humiliations" (which is a term of art there is nothing humiliating about any of this, that's the point) your mind is made up, you are ready to crawl under barbed wire and brave machine gun fire to claim your womanhood.

>>41895022

This is very tough, sadly app dating culture is so dominant and especially for LGBT people finding a potential partner who you know IRL and go from friends to lovers is a chronic problem. There are other problems too of course, the general difficulties of dating are well documented. Many men dislike romantic rejection, They prioritize sex and this becomes a precondition for emotional intimacy. Then you also need to be wary of overcommitment and love bombing: beware a guy who is showering you with expensive dates or talking about how he wants to "take care of you" or have you move in early on-- guaranteed that will not go well.

All I can say is put yourself out there on apps, talk to people, be patient and be open about your situation, that you're a virgin, want to date and form an emotional connection, and are scared and uncertain about sex. You will eventually find a good guy willing to invest the effort to win you. You might not feel much of a "spark" right away, that's normal, we usually fear men and are suspicious of them, so often those romantic feelings will only blossom after he has proven himself and gotten you to let down your guard.

Tl;dr be patient, talk to men, try to make friends, and communicate very clearly about your situation and what your needs are. Don't let the pessimism of others make you think it's not possible.

>>41895830
It still seems so tricky, especially as someone who is in this untranny valley space (too feminine for most gay men, too masculine for most straight men).

That and CSA trauma.

>>41895661
>>41895669
This speaks exactly to how I break problems down. Thank you!!!

>>41891110
More please, this is what I was hoping for!

OP, this is shaping up to be one of the most important and potentially life changing threads I have ever read. Please keep going. You are literally saving people.

Modern western society cultivates gay/trans people. If you got married around 13, like all of your ancestors throughout human history did, whether you were actually gay, trans, or not, you wouldn't have time to even consider being gay/trans because you'd be busy raising children and providing for them. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. Being forced to stay abstinent/unmarried with no responsibility until you were 18+ allowed gay/trans-ness in you to bear fruit. You had too much freedom to "figure yourself out," for better or worse.

That's a big part of why you're openly gay/trans. You would've repressed it in any other era, your gay/trans ancestors repressed it. Maybe you owe it to them to live out their dream of same-sex romance and taking HRT.

>>41887627
I have no desire to follow these steps but readings this nevertheless made me arousesd. OP, were you aroused by the process at all?

>>41896095

Yes, a lot. And that's totally fine. I don't think everyone who thinks TG is hot is a tranny. And not all trannies need this kind of process.

>>41896086

Yep pretty much. I for one think it's cool.

>>41896073

I will crank them all out, just need to get off work first so I can focus.

>>41896151
>Yep pretty much. I for one think it's cool.
Yeah, and despite that, despite the fact that a lot of people have latent homosexual/transsexual urges, most will still suppress it and stay on the straight and narrow because they have a trained disgust and shame. A lot of gay people had to overcome their internalized homophobia.

>>41895661
I have a naturally faggy voice, but the memory stuff hits really close to home.

I had sort of an ego death in the spring where my memories began to rewrite themselves so that I was a girl, and I was terrified. The process didn't complete and have in many ways reverted, but it's something I wish I wasn't so scared of.

File: Output.jpg (2.37 MB, 1643x2920)

2.37 MB JPG

OP, I saved these caps a while ago and keep coming back to them periodically for guidance and a reminder when I get disoriented.

They remind me a lot of the message you are putting across. What do you make of them? Was this you?

>>41896364
>I had sort of an ego death in the spring where my memories began to rewrite themselves so that I was a girl, and I was terrified. The process didn't complete and have in many ways reverted, but it's something I wish I wasn't so scared of.
I hate that feeling when I can feel a major mental shift happening, then I have a moment of getting scared or ashamed, and just for that second I fight it, and it kills the mood and freezes the process for the time being. It's so, so frustrating.

I feel like I am on the cusp of personality getting broken down and rewritten, like if I could just accept it, it would burn like a fire through old me.

>>41896364

I understand the terror. Especially if you still dream of being straight. It's not a choice anyone can make for you. But here's what I can tell you, living for the esteem of others, even your parents or significant other, won't be able to make you happy if those people don't understand the "real" you. Maybe talk to a best friend about your feelings and come out to them as feeling this way, even if you keep repressing. Doing that helped me, although it was a long time before I understood how.

>>41896405

Glanced at it, none of it looks like me but tysm for the share! I will read it over later! There are some good, smart people on this board, I've even had the privilege of meeting some of them.

>>41896515
Yeah. Something similar happened before then, too. The first time I honestly and truly saw myself as a woman for the first time in body and mind, I was ecstatic for about 10 minutes and then had a crying, guilt-fueled breakdown.

>>41896523
I don't really dream of being a straight guy. Iunno I have brain damage or something. The words that I think don't match the thoughts that accompany them.

>"I want to be a guy"
>Happily imagines feminizing more

This kind of thing.

>>41896151
you used sissy hypno to feminize yourself - do you think this is an effective means for future trans women on their journey?

>>41896536
Also the closet is glass for me. I'm out to many people and everyone at work knows that I'm trans, but I'm not officially out there. It's just this weird limbo state.

>>41896267

Yeah i think that's accurate. I would also add internalized homophobia (and these days internalized transphobia) affects everyone of all genders and orientations.orientation.

You can fear and hate "gay" and gnc characteristics about yourself, even if you're straight, due to doubt that you could be that thing and being afraid of that, or afraid of being seen that way. When you add in the fear of regret for wrong choices and the desire for affirmation that your choices were right, it becomes easy to see how people can have a latent fear or dread about self discovery. Thus a straight person can fear an experience that "awakens" a homosexual urge, a trans person can become depressed and anxious due to a gnawing fear that they're "just a confused bi dude" (or gay dude) and so on. There are many divergent life paths and all require investment and commitment, so it's normal to fear realizing that you're in the wrong path. However, the good thing is, changing your path isn't impossible and is never as bad as you fear it will be.

>>41896618
did you just use AI to reply to me?

These techniques can for sure work, but they're incomplete. Late transitioners (post puberty) are going to lag behind in so many things like manners, speech, body language and the female mindset. If you're a neverpassing mannerhon, you might as well take the path of least resistance and use these methods to masculinize yourself instead. Being a semi-normal man is definitely preferable

>>41896808
Nah.

I tried being a man for so long because I thought it would be easier. I thought it was already too late when I realized there were other options.

Never choosing that again.

>>41896808
It doesn't fucking work. I tried to psyop myself into being a man for 20 years. It doesn't fucking work if that is not what you actually want to be.

>>41896545

Technically I actually listened to gay affirmation hypno mostly and it was hard for me to find stuff I liked. I didn't like bambi sleep because it talks as if the subject ("bambi") is already a woman with a female body. Since I was a man that was just kind of conflicting with my situation. I didn't really like most sissy/bimbo content or dominatrix themed stuff, a lot of that presumes or promotes attraction to women, which does nothing for me. And while I think there is a place for degradation, the heavy, misogynistic degradation is just tacky and distracting.

I looked for faggot/sissy affirmations and my use of it was twofold. I wanted to deprogram my fear and aversion response to the concept of being seen as a faggot, which is a potent fear for trans women due to the difficulty of passing among other things. I also wanted affirmation and reinforcement of my submissive attraction to men, to substitute for the "affirmation" i had received for being straight my whole life. I wanted a female bestie to smugly insist i was a faggot and tease me about it mercilessly no matter how much I denied it. A bit like a female friend or bully might tease a girl about having a crush on a boy.

I also used sissy content and hypnos to confront the "humiliation" taboo, and the castration anxiety that lay at the heart of this. I wanted to explore metaphysical castration to examine my latent fear of losing potency and male status. For trans women, there's often a fear of being seen as a sissy AGP coomer who is a threat to women. Well, one way to reduce of that fear is exposure therapy.

My overall goal with hypnos was to chip away at my male ego. I used them with full awareness of the cringe, and my central idea was that the humiliation of doing something taboo and wrong would grind down my male identity and reduce my resistance to sexual exploration.

Cont. 1/2

>>41896645

Nope. You can run it through an AI detector. All my autistic babble is 100% handcrafted.

>>41896545
>>41896860

Cont. 2/2


As for my stance on sissy hypno, I think if you're inhibited and repressed and can't get anywhere, like can't just come out and start transitioning, it can be a good tool for solo exploration, particularly if you're celibate for a while. I think it can benefit people. But not everyone will enjoy using it. I definitely found it helpful, but I also found anal masturbation while watching music videos of my favorite pop stars to be helpful. I didn't include everything i did on this list! people's methods for self exploration or anal training will be diverse.

I don't think sissy hypno is a magic bullet and I don't think it feminizes you by itself. Constant commitment to reconditioning your behavior and a whole lot of work and exposure is what feminizes you. If sissy hypno helps at any stage, use it.

>>41887627
You still feel something for women?.
I'm bi but my hetero side causes me distress.

>>41896086
I hate trannies but you're retarded. do you WANT these mentality patterns or even possibly genetics to pass down? why on earth would you want that? it's far better for them to self-select out of the gene pool.

>>41896860
>>41896956
well I'm glad hypno helped you, trannies shit on it but it can be very feminizing and beneficial overall

>>41887627
why did you choose to get SRS significantly after than your orchi? Why not get both at once?

>>41896956
>but I also found anal masturbation while watching music videos of my favorite pop stars to be helpful.
NTA, do you think orgasms can be harnessed to make brain changes?

>>41896808

Someone brought this up earlier in the thread but it doesn't really work that way, there's extremely strong social pressure and conditioning to be cishet, most of us are subjected to that and try to adapt. Those of us who end up trooning ourselves out have been through that filter and found that it doesn't work. It doesn't provide a happy, fulfilled life and we have to figure out something else.

>>41887627
what if I’m a gynephilic mtf that wants to become exclusively androphilic

>>41896618
What if your someone who has seemingly gotten *more* reluctant throughout transition? It's like shame has gotten stronger.

>>41897142

Essentially the issue with that was that orchi had no wait but the SRS wait through my insurance was an unspecified number of years, with poor communication about how long. I ended up changing insurances, finding another provider, and consulting with them. The whole process took about 2.5 years.

But I couldn't wait that long to have my balls removed. I knew I didn't want them and they interfered with my clothing options. I also wanted to do it in stages to see if I would be content with orchi and wouldn't need to get SRS. My pathway was pre designed so that I would have off ramps before each major step-- if being a non op or non binary person or some other kind of queer was an option i wanted to make sure i ruled it out. The key deciding factor was when Orchi and tucking did not halt my erections, despite multiple doctors telling me they would. At that point I realized how essential SRS really was for me. I also hated cock cages and tucking. because my sex drive is so high, my penis remained very functional, so every time I was aroused or with a partner I would experience pain, discomfort, anxiety, and embarassment.

>>41897300
put simply, did the act of having your balls removed and being given a vagina turn you on?

>>41889702
Basically just remove all gay shit from your life and simultaneously reward yourself for acting straight
>write male positive affirmations for yourself and read them out loud before bed
>throw away all gay stuff you have (clothes, toys, accessories)
>delete gay stuff from your pc
>unfriend lgbt friends
>stop jerking off to gay shit
>whenever you get horny, jerk off to straight shit
>keep doing that till you enjoy it
>find malecoded hobby you enjoy
>get male friends that uplift you and give you positive reinforcement
>get a gf for same reason
Its prolly not going to remove the urges but your life will be based enough that you wont miss the gay shit

My libido is a fraction of yours so all these sex-oriented steps don't really apply to me. So I'm not certain how to adjust your plan to fit my path.

>>41897489
Buddy. Pal. Friendo. I'm this anon >>41896832. You think I didn't try this shit to stop being trans? I ended up trooning out anyway after decades of trying to suppress and erase it, It doesn't fucking work.

All repressing does is trade time of your life for shitty experiences.

File: for-you-bane.gif (1.57 MB, 498x280)

1.57 MB GIF

>>41897543
It didnt work
(For you)

>>41897228

I would say you're an ideal candidate to just start this process from the beginning. Just because you're out, and on HRT and already a trans woman doesn't mean you can't benefit. A period of celibacy, hypnotic conditioning, anal training, and solo exploration followed by forcing yourself to take the plunge into sex with men can help. I recommend 12 full months of celibacy, including no dating, to help engineer a full system reboot. You should also focus on redefining your attraction to women as admiration and envy, no matter how absurd it may feel. My bet is that the reason you want to be straight is because you have dysphoria about the idea of topping women or the fluidity of lesbian dynamics.

I think given the fact that you're already estrogenized you might have a very good time with it!

>>41897251

I think you should start the process from the beginning. I think your hangup probably stems from an expectation that transitioning to express your true self should feel natural. But for many people, it doesn't, because the internalised fears they can't articulate are too strong. Try to open yourself up to the idea that you have to do some demolition and remodeling to get to where you want to be, and that it might take a couple years of dedicated, deliberate work. But you should definitely congratulate yourself for already being on HRT and getting as far as you have-- that endocrinologist development time is invaluable and you will be much more receptive to psychological feminization

>>41897005

When you say your "hetero side" what do you mean?

I still think women are attractive, it kind of gives me chills to know that I can never be with a woman like a man is, I feel intense envy and admiration. But there's not much actual sexual urge and absolutely zero relationship urge. At most there's a desire for deep platonic closeness that contains an element of mutual attraction. Basically when I see a hot women it makes me think of being with a guy and maybe my monkey brain wants other "rival" women to know that I have sex with men.

But that's how I am now, post op. I had intense compulsive sexual attraction to women as men, but a nagging feeling that I wanted to have sex with men despite that. It was honestly maddening, to the point where I became determined to figure out if that nagging voice was real.

>>41897347

Yes. Extremely. I have a castration fetish. Although I was more scared of SRS, I didn't have sexual feelings about having a pussy until the recovery pain went away and I had gotten through the most difficult post op care.

>>41897489

>male friends that uplift you

Hah... hahah.. hah yeah sure uplift you by drinking a few cases of rolling rock and watching NBA playoffs that none of you care about and avoiding any honest discussion of feelings. Been there, done that.

>>41897575
>I think you should start the process from the beginning. I think your hangup probably stems from an expectation that transitioning to express your true self should feel natural. But for many people, it doesn't, because the internalised fears they can't articulate are too strong. Try to open yourself up to the idea that you have to do some demolition and remodeling to get to where you want to be, and that it might take a couple years of dedicated, deliberate work. But you should definitely congratulate yourself for already being on HRT and getting as far as you have-- that endocrinologist development time is invaluable and you will be much more receptive to psychological feminization

My experience has been incredibly, incredibly weird. I'm also the one who had the weird ego death and stuff. I think it just made everything feel more real. I often think "I'm straight" (straight female) but it's like the word "guy" often means "girl" in my head. It's very very odd. I think I might have brain damage or something, so I'm trying to see a neurologist for it and some other health issues.

I've got weird family issues with it as well, and have been in a support group for a while. They're almost entirely transbians though.

>>41897713
I imagine the feeling that you can no longer fuck someone but now can only be fucked to be both very arousing and very validating.

>>41897503

Well what drives you to want to transition? The behavioral conditioning doesn't have to be sexual, it can just be the satisfaction of being cute and womanly.

I would streamline the masturbatory exploration part and shorten the celibacy period. Explore anal stimulation methodically and clinically regardless of whether you get hard. Imagine you were a woman and that was your vagina and you're figuring out how it works. It's good practice for one day figuring out how a neovagina works.

I would still say try having sex with men to see if it jostled something loose in your brain. Estrogenic arousal is activated by touch and contextual situations, so you might have a slumbering heterosexual sex drive. This is common for women and especially common for autistic women who often develop their sexuality much later in life than neurotypical peers. It makes sense to rule it out anyway.

After you do that step, proceed with the rest of the plan. You don't need to have lots of sex or look for a relationship. The goal is to just remove your hangups about transitioning and presenting as female, you can always re evaluate your sex life after you've met your transition goals.

>>41897698
I mean "straight side", but i guess the expression i used only exist in my language and not English.

I'm somewhat in a similar place, i want a boyfriend and i feel somewhat attracted to men, but the core gynephilia remains there. I wish i was exclusively androphilic.

>>41897564

Your steps are not good though. "Male coded hobbies" worth doing are full of trannies and fags living their best life who will taunt reppers. Straight porn is vomit inducing and uninspired even for straight people. Straight men are ass tier at friendship they are un empathetic and scared of emotions. Unfriending friends is awful and anyone who tells you to do that is awful. And getting a GF won't help at all in fact it will waste both of your time and you will come to resent her.

>>41897829

Just follow my process it'll go well. The "core gynephilia" is just caused by the fact that cis women are way way more hot than human beings reasonably should be. Their clothes, makeup, outfits, the revealing/skintight clothing, all the self care they do could turn on a corpse. Not to mention all the Instagram and models and idols and OF thots being shoved in front of us.

Just don't worry about that, you want to catch up to where those women are: and object of desire, not one who desires. So Try my process if you want to be attracted to men and have a boyfriend, and if you commit to it fully, you will see results. The worst that will happen is you finally figure out that you're actually a true straight cis man and cure your tranny brainworms.

I can't help but think this whole thing is the result primarily of horniness rather than dysphoria

>>41898149
why do people get so tripped up on this? like we shouldn't do things if they feel good

>>41898185
Guilt

>>41898185
if you want to transition because it makes you horny, you're an AGP, full stop. that's the definition of AGP.

>>41897900
>Male coded hobbies" worth doing are full of trannies and fags
Fair. Altho physical hobbies are less likely
>Straight porn is vomit inducing
True but you dont have to watch porn to get off to straight thoughts. If you watch porn youre a retarded goy anyway and theres no hope so you might as well troon out atp
>Straight men are ass tier at friendship they are un empathetic and scared of emotions
Dumbass fag-brained generalization
>Unfriending friends is awful and anyone who tells you to do that is awful.
"Noooooo dont tell me to ghost that drug addict friend of mine hes soooo nice (and gives me drugs)"
And getting a GF won't help at all in fact it will waste both of your time and you will come to resent her.
>And getting a GF won't help at all in fact it will waste both of your time and you will come to resent her.
Skill issue. Fujos are pretty cool

>>41898213
Oh god, oh no, im hecking invalid now. My dysphoria is a lie!

>>41898236
coomer spotted

>>41887627
Did you plan this all out ahead of time and stick to your plan?

>>41897713
nta, one of my biggest fears about srs is that i will be turned on all the time by having a pussy.

as somebody turned on by it, how intrusive is it? are you always feeling it?

>>41898229
Continuing...
Regardless of what inane cope youre gonna reply to this, it is self evident that if affirmations and conditioning can be used to destroy a masculine ego like described by OP, then it must also be possible to use them to destroy a feminine one, granted one has the will to get it done. Obviously, the tranny groomers in this thread didn't, because they were too busy cooming, doomscrolling and spiraling during covid, but more power to them. I dont care. That they failed does not mean that lurkers reading this cannot successfully repress, though. It may feel more rewarding and intuitive to do all this feminization crap when your brain is already primed to give you dopamine for doing gay shit, but it also does not mean rewiring the other way can't feel just as rewarding.

>>41898149

Yes. Dysphoria is an extremely broad flexible term that is not supposed to be a litmus test for who is and isn't trans.

>>41898229

>fujo

Oh so you're literally a repper who got a gf and thinks you're cured. I went through 4 gfs before trooning lol.

>straight thoughts.

Never had any desu. Only felt things for women when I saw a hot one.

>assuming my friends are drug dealers.

Bro I am actually 100% straight edge, are you?

>>41898358

Partially. But I did not plan to transition. Until suddenly I realized it was a good idea.

>>41898821

I had this fear ahead of time too. Because I'm not into vaginas.

It's not intrusive at all, I am not horny because I have a vagina. I am a horny woman and the vagina is my sex organ.

It's hard to explain more then that, it's a feeling of pure gender affirmation.

>>41898883

I already explained why this is not true twice I think? There is an extremely lopsided filtration system. Everyone who can have the gay forced out of them has this happen early.

>>41899142
Yeah, in a society that consistently pushes people to be cishet, those structures to "keep the gay away" are already there.

>>41899137
i wish i were you ;_;

>>41899137
yep... this post completely mindbroke me. i have been looking at it backwards. hooly fuck. SRS seems like it is completely mind bending.

>in all the ways i want my mind bent

>>41887627
Would you be willing to create a discord for this thread and its inhabitants? I think it would be an interesting place that might produce a lot of pretty girls.

>>41900145

I can't, I've been around this board too much to draw that kind of attention. I know a lot of troons. But if people leave discords I will befriend them and talk

>>41900193
banditwolf9486

>>41900301

Damn... looks like my account got hacked. It'll be some time before I can get it back i expect. Oh well, I'm sure we'll meet again someday... although I live in Florida so maybe not.

>>41900495
Ahh that sucks, I hope you get your account back soon. It would have been cool to talk tho. I was going to ask you to make me your student!
You are fascinating, this thread is a welcome breath of fresh air. You stand out in a world of neverpassing transbians that are satisfied with mediocrity.

There is so much in this thread that lights up my brain or im already experimenting with. What you have described here is much closer to my transness than anything else I've encountered. I'm going to dedicate myself to doing your plan, because I want the outcome with every fiber of my being.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for making this thread, it's been an life altering experience.

>>41887627
LARP. you can’t change your sexuality. bye sissy

>>41900796

Why does everyone just accept that as fact? If a person explores their sexuality and is controlling the process they can un over things. Tons of people claim to like women but they unconsciously prefer men.

>>41900848

*uncover things

>>41900193
Actually_April

Really curious about this

>>41900495
Look, if I know you already... I think you are awesome, and I have no desire to dox you or tell others. I have the same inclinations you do and I get why you want to keep them private. I just want to learn from you because I want my transition to go the way yours has. Please...

Bumping this before it gets lost

>>41894648
are you kpop anon where is kpop mef anon
also i saw your pink headphones a while back and got myself some beige ones
probably will get a lavender phone soon

>>41890236
i did that gave up though

>>41890428
i've been doing things in OP for more than a decade under sissy pretexts and longer without being aware of any context still consider myself cis het male

>>41887627
>Do NOT openly identify as a "sissy"
i always thought of that as a cute title not a taboo fetish

>>41900145
is it male brained to not like discord
does it mean i should stop using linux too proposterous!

>>41887627
this sounds like a guide for how to ruin your mental and physical health, and then rope in like 3 years. that said, here's a much easier, less autistic and fetishistic, step by step guide:

>1. disregard any of the stupid shit that OP has shat out.
>2. stop watching porn. it's demonic and gross.
>3. optional step for if you're transitioning and are interested in dating guys, start hrt prior to dating men. the purpose of this guide is already fucked as it is, but if for some insane reason you just want to turn yourself gay, then skip ahead to step 4.
>4. try dating men. if you're not genuinely attracted to any particular type, you have two choices depending on your ideals.
>4A. if your ideal is to be submissive, find men who are more sexually dominant and physically imposing than yourself. easy if you're short and naturally effeminate, more difficult if you're tall and naturally masculine.
>4B. if your ideal is to be dominant, do the opposite, or just find somebody who is behaviorally more submissive than you if dating somebody shorter/more effeminate than you would be dysphoric.
>5. give dating a few tries. start slow. be safe, but follow through to intimacy when you're ready.
>6. evaluate. if after a few dates or sex, you've found it disgusting then it's not for you and trying further will just ruin your mental health. honestly you'll know after your first act of intimacy with a man whether it's viable or not for you. if it's viable, great. if it's not, great.

>>41906434
i don't think that's the point

>>41906319

I am she yeah. I stopped using kpop op picrels because it started to trigger too much anger and disinterest. Also I don't exactly feel as MEF anymore these days, the day of my final departure is near

>>41903884

Sorry taking forever for me to come back and complete the writing assignment. Life gets in the way ya know?

>>41897169

Almost any system of conscious behavioral reinforcement can make brain changes, that's how practice works. The more you practice the more you know what works and what doesn't for you.

>>41906329

If that's what works for you and you're happy then that's great. I at one point had the (partial) goal of not transitioning but I found through trial and error that transitioning was what I needed. The process of disinhibiting myself and going from repressing to expressing was gradual.

>>41906340

I have no problem with the "sissy" label but it triggers people, same with being racist or edgy or nasty or impulsive. If you be nice to the world, the world will be nice to you back, so I am careful about what i express publicly.

>>41906434

See i know this is going to be wrong right away since it begins with dooming and hysteria and judgmental assumptions. My guide is for people who can't follow ordinary political correct transition guides. My guide is explicitly for depressed MEF gooners who feel like they're predominantly straight men but really want to stop, and there are a lot of people like this struggling with stagnated transitions or repression.

--

Okay I read your guide and as I expected it doesn't really say anything. First off I don't think i ever mentioned watching porn. I mentioned masturbation, which is something every normal human being on the planet does and can barely help doing.

Secondly, it's just judgemental scolding. People stuck in AGP repression with MEF thoughts taunting them at night can't just go date men like a HSTS can. They are dealing with a compartmentalized psyche and they are held back by brainworms.

Honestly what annoys me about you is that you carelessly spread more brain worms, telling people they'll ruin their life, they'll kill themselves, they're porn addicted etc. Just fermenting divisions based on who you think is true trans. And I honestly think the main reason for this is you're scared of your own doubts and insecurities about your identity. There's nothing "demonic" about porn. It's a legal industry like any other, and things only have the power that people ascribe to them. Once you take the power out of a symbol, there is no need to fear it, because you gave it that power in the first place.

>>41891110
OP, if you continue these I will read the hell out of them

>>41909547
based take

>>41906434
My mental health is already ruined by having an imposed moid sexuality, as my sexuality feels like an external imposition everytime it activates is a self rape. i never consented having a moid gynephilic degenerate sexuality. and i hate every second having it.
Knowing that sexuality is unchangeable genuinely makes me want to KMS, among other things.

Also I know that i'm just mentally ill and 99% of people cant relate. Whatever. I just want to have a little agency over this imposed meat prison.

>>41909663

Okay I finally have time to continue

>>41891110

>3. Voluntary celibacy

It's important to take a break from sex and dating to figure yourself out and focus on self exploration and experimentation. A cornerstone of male pride is getting laid, so a long stretch of celibacy will humble you. It also helps allow surpressed desires to bubble to the surface.

4. Behavior modification.

This step is of course one of constant importance, but people always underestimate it. Behavior affects your subconscious and has a long term effect on your personality. Behavior is gendered and enforced from birth, often surreptitiously. It also gets bogged down in discourse about feminism, and you might get mocked for trying to change Behavior, or called "inauthentic" and this is a powerful tool of coercing people to stay as their AGAB. rest assured, everyone policing behaviors is secretly policing their own. You should reevaluate every aspect of your behavior. The bodywash you use, how often you shower, the towells and bedding you use, how your furniture is arranged, how you pee, how you stand, your body language, the music you listen to. If there's something more feminine, try making that the default-- experiment. It may feel awkward at first, but eventually the changes will be second nature. Experiment with leg hair removal, different moisturizer. Change how you masturbate: penetration is now a necessary component. Try to stop touching your dick (not easy!) Experiment with tucking or caging your penis if you want.

>>41909489
it triggers people because there is dirt in their minds or some kinda poorly thought out agenda

>>41909456
>day of my final departure
are you going to kys?

>>41909547
yeah mefs are so utterly passive and helpless that emasculation trauma has sent their little psyches running for the hills they make agp types look like hsts spoiled princesses they are the final frontier

>>41910353

The trauma that MEF's face is that there's no one to validate their sexuality and tell them it's okay to ride that fetish into a stable female existence. But once we get going we can often outperform pure AGPs in terms of feminity

>>41910297

Nope just getting out of the trans community once I recover from my last surgery.

>>41910101

Cont.

>5. Hypno (and other auditory mechanisms)

Hypno is a controversial subject that tends to be overhyped in fetish communities but ignored by many who dont take it seriously. It can help, if used over time and as part of a program of diligent celibate self exploration. The idea is to use hypno to dismantle elements of your subconscious masculine identity. It's not going to have some huge rapid effect, however it can be useful. It can help break down aversions or taboos by negating aspects of your identity that those things attach to, which is typically your ego and social position. Personally, I used hypnotic affirmations to simulate the experience i wanted, which was a female voice validating and praising me for being a "faggot sissy." Hypnos were a way of easing myself into the role of an effeminate bottom gay male which was how I initially experimented with dating men, something that had been impossible to go through with for many years. Other types of hypnotic content I used included pop music, sissy captions, and videos of women smoking cigarettes interspersed with gay porn. I still considered myself a heterosexual straight male during this time, but i liked the idea of cultivating and conditioning myself to be a faggot. I also spent time exploring the possibility that my feelings toward women were admiration and envy only, which over time diminished the guilt, depression and maleness associated with those thoughts.

>>41910368
it's not just that theres not validation it's also they run into problems at every junction like a perma opposite day and they're all alone like flopping in the wind and getting stomped from time to time
it's not about degree of femininity but acknowledgement with other agps even now they relegate mefs with other things

>>41891110
>>41910384
>they dangle being a womanly ethereal creature in front of you only to trap you in irreversible changes and then tell you to embrace and get comfy being a faggot which you never wanted to do
dear god what sick joke are the glowies playing now

>>41906319
yes bruv. glad you got cute headphones. haha is it iphone 14. im also getting a phone soon and battling with which color to get. our autism knows no bounds.

>>41909456
how do i find your old threads they were like cocaine to me or dareisay cutting
you should tag your ops atleast
>>41911899
nah it's some autistic malebrained brand

>>41910384
>>41910101
OP delivers! Awesome!!

>>41910376
:( this makes me sad

>>41911875
Im not OP, just dlsomebody who has figured out a lot of what OP is laying down but didnt have the confidence to tie it together because I was exposed to people like you too early.
Learn to have some courage. Have the courage to let your mind change, amd become somebody else: The somebody you want.

>>41899137
>It's hard to explain more then that, it's a feeling of pure gender affirmation.
Yesterday I decided that if you can feel this about your pussy I should be able to feel some of this about my breasts and my hrt feminized body. And it worked!
For moments I was able to look at myself and feel genuinely feel female. My breasts and curves became symbols (indicators) of what I truly am. If im female its totally normal to have breasts and it's totally normal to like them. I don't need to feel ashamed about these changes.

This is the first time ive ever crossed over in my gendered perception of myself. I think its a good sign. But going back and forth is maddening. It's so easy to fall back to thinking of myself as a perverted male that took hrt and grew breasts.

>>41910376
Do you view this as the final step on your journey? Like graduating from or trqnscending transness? A once we finish school, we leave, sort of thing?

>>41887627
OP, one of the things that strikes me about your approach is that it is indicative and requires an internal locus of control. This is a difficult thing to fathom for many transwomen. Developing a male body, having testosterone running around your brain, and having to cope with that pretty much sets us up to have a default external locus. Things are being dictated to us. The once we start transition we aren't in control over how well our biology responds to that, or what clocky features we might be left with, again, we are at the mercy of outside forces.

Yet here you are and it's like HRT isn't 'medicine' to you, it is a catalyst for the changes you have prescribed for yourself. All these ingredients you are bringing together are.

I'm interested in this from a sports psychology perspective. How did you get your mind to this place? How do you mentally process stuff you can't control?

I'm curious about your emotions too. A lot of your advice is very practical but it is missing emotional content. And imo it is the emotional content that provides the power to get through adversity. It also provides the foundation for genuine actions and not mentally calculated actions. Specifically on the last part, our goal is to naturally embody femininity, is it not?

I'm also curious, do you come from a community of like minded individuals or is this all your own synthesis?

>>41887627
On your plan, how should an aspirant be budgeting or allocating their time? I'm tempted to think this should be Sleep/Work/Trans every day.

>>41912335
why is that somebody a dirty homo

>>41911961

I use my browsing history to get the thread numbers and then search one of the archive sites. Can also sometimes find them with a keyword search.

>>41913114
not OP but yeah it's true that things are dictated to us that's where all the conflict and internal stress comes from that makes the foundation of mef psychology but even when you're all zoned out zombie mode doing what the world tells you through the pain or whatever it's like there is something subconscious in you that just keeps running on it's own i guess some of us are the witchy (lol more like nerdy autistic) self directed kind who also happened to have weird interests i guess that's where the invisible drive comes from and you keep picking up things and they keep happening even though you might hide them time to time to keep face

>>41912547
pretty sure you're here forever unless they mean detrooning but then they wouldn't be preaching all this crap

>>41912514

I saw you posting about this and I'm happy for you, try to do a meditative practice on this regarding other parts of your body, relax, deep breathing, relax your tummy, feel it with your mind. It's a woman's tummy, soft, smooth, subcutaneous fat distributed more towards the lower tummy below the navel. Do this with other parts of your body, learn for yourself the myriad ways your body has transformed, sometimes without your noticing. if you feel comfortable. You are female in ways you might not realize. Know that changes in muscle fibers, fat distribution, posture, are slow cumulative changes that take time as your body spends more time on estrogen. Even if you've beennon it 3 or 4 years, you are still developing.

Don't try to hold on to the state, just relax and alow it to come naturally. Just observe how the state of feeling female affects you. If it disappears, that's fine, stoo for now, go about your day and do the exercise later; it's a work in progress. You can make that feeling your entire being, every minute of every day. But if you do slip and feel masculine and dysphoric, this does not mean you're male or that you have failed, it just reflects a work in progress and that we're human, old habits die hard.

>>41912547
>>41913768

No not a final step of anything it's just that I want to not think about trans and move on to the next phase in my life, I am sure someday after years pass I will check back in. .

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126 KB JPG

at this point i wanna go to some other city and try to get a psych evaluation for GD and see how they react this is a very conservative country and i've read about how most of them will tell you to go jerk off and get lost and other crap
even the ones that are interested in treating you will give you rough trial old style like make you crossdress in public and show up to their office evaluate your fashion etc
it's a total humiliation ritual and kinda appealing to me emasculation wise but there are no permanent medical records so i may as well right who knows i might end up with a valid script for hrt

>>41913807
Thank you! I know this path from other times in my life and it makes me so happy to have your confirmation that this is the right way to go for transition too.

I hadn't made the meditative connection yet but now that you have said it, it is completely obvious. I'm somebody that got really profound mental changes from E and from Prog. I have had a meditative practice where when I am feeling masculine I quiet my mind, then reflect on how differently my mind feels, how I can't even bring up many of the masculine feelings I used to identify with. This wasn't enough to shift my identity but it was enough to make it clear to myself that I had moved.

I have also discovered that when I purposefully enter a meditative state while doing things, I often shift naturally to a more feminine way of... everything. It's got me thinking that if I could just stay relaxed and in this meditative state, that I would effortlessly be feminine. It's much easier said than done though. I've noticed that whenever I become stressed or challenged I instinctively default back to male, taking care of business mode.

>>41913114

I'll try to take these one at a time,

>community

I am a solitary lone practitioner, I haven't worked or even spoken directly with other trans women i know about the process. Spoken conversation can be hard because people quickly reject what they tell themselves isn't for them. The medium of writing allows you to lay things out and present it along with the cognitive steps and allow someone to read it all and take it in if they choose.

>locus of control

That's a good observation, my method is about establishing a new locus of control in yourself by breaking down subconscious emotional barriers. Physical dysphoria traps you in a body you hate and social dysphoria traps you in a gender role you hate. So, many of my steps are geared toward deliberately making yourself do things successful males aren't supposed to do, to "break" that identity. Regarding physical dysphoria, to develop that locus of control, you subject your body to things it we are taught it was not meant to to, feminized self care, reorienting your anogenital nervous arousal pathways via penetration, submissive sexual acts. In the process in addition to confronting fears about being "just" a feminine male, or a sissy/flamer, you may observe how your inner self is separate from the body. Knowledge of this seperateness is crucial to successfully transition from an adult developed make to female because you need that inner self to guide you. By the time you start estrogen, your will should ideally be completely consolidated. There is nothing too scary about being a "non passing freak" because you have already immersed yourself in those fears, explored and come to terms with it. There is no question about failure, it is about attaining your personal best, bringing your body as far in alignment with your feminine identity as it can be.

Cont 1/2

OP, maybe you can give me some advise.

I guess I'm HSTS, because dating men was easy for me, as well as female manners, behaviour etc. I think my male identity was a very thin facade that well off very easily.

My main reason for transition was because it gave me immersive deep feeling of happiness. And deeper I went with it, the more blissfull I got. It's like kind of a psoychological drug for me.

I have a husband, in deep stealth, had BA, orhci (scared to do SRS due to possible complication), minor FFS.
And I feel stuck, because I don't know what else I can do with myself to get more internal female validation.
It feels like there are still some neural pathways in my brain that are male, and I don't know how to rewrite/remove them.

There is route for beaty/bimbo-maxxing - fillers, more surgery, and degrading socially (doing porn, OF). But my husband is against all of it, and I love my life of middle-class wife.

>>41914114
Similar boat at least in terms of feeling too virilized in my brain.

>>41914074

Control 2/2

>locus

Therefore, passing for a lateshit transitioner is the derivative consequence of cumulative practices and changes, it is a happy accident that you'd never thought you would achieve, but one that you never allowew yourself to stop working towards. Practically speaking, it can't be your goal because it seems impossible and probably always will seem impossible the deeper your awareness of anatomy becomes. But as you develop your awareness of your body and gendered behavior you will find more and more ways to influence perception of your gender. I could talk more about the layers of passing and behavior but it gets into other topics.

>missing emotional content

The emotional side of this could fill its own thread it's simply too much for this discussion. There are times when emotions push you in the right direction and also times where they hold you back, and I definitely went through a lot. However I believe all that is needed to get started on an emotional level is a total disillusionment with the male identity, discovering you are in that state where you have tried all the male things and are just apathetic to everything and all that remains is relentless AGP/MEF thoughts. Only a certain subset of tranny reppers find themselves here in adulthood. Thankfully most trannies these days seem to be 18shits.

>>41914114

Listen to your husband, don't do porn. I have those thoughts too, my boyfriend keeps me from doing it. Your brain is not too virilised, you will get where you want to be with time.

I think you need to get SRS, and you should follow a process to deal with your anxieties and reduce risk of complications. As someone who had it and was also terrified I can tell you most of your fears about it are overblown, the silent majority of people who get it don't have serious issues and are happy. The people who do get complications almost always deal with them and overcome them eventually. Don't let anecdotes or brainworm horror stories influence you. Research and consult with multiple surgeons, schedule it and continue researching, if you find a surgeon you like more who you can go to, schedule with them.

As for what else to do to feel more female, I am not sure! You seem even more advanced into being a tranny than me. Maybe try meditating or therapy? I think when you're post-op, feelings of being internally male don't bother you as much maybe? For me it just feels like I have a tomboyish side which most cis women probably have.

>>41913807
>You can make that feeling your entire being, every minute of every day.

I keep coming back to this. It seems too good to be true.

But then I have ruined a lot of potential friendships and other opportunities because they seem too good to be true. I put off transition until my mid 30s because it seemed to good to be true. Most of the time I can't fully accept how my body has changed on 2.5 years of HRT because it seems too good to be true. What you have managed to do seems too good to be true. I'm so ready to write it off as impossible for me. But then all of it is my own BS.

>>41914074
>>41914387
I need to digest what you have said. But for now I want to say on this:
> I could talk more about the layers of passing and behavior but it gets into other topics.
If you write it, I will read it and take it to heart. (But desu im scared that when this thread dies I will miss your subsequent threads.)

When I was younger I taught myself how to drive cars really fast. I learned under my own system that I developed based on the work of a few individuals who's perspective rang true for me. It was 70% mental approach, 30% skills development. I was wildly successful, wildly apart from the herd in terms of capability and adaptability. You are reintroducing me to a lot of the mental tools I used back then. (I potentially have more to introduce to you, for example I got deeply into feeling states; if I could get into the right feeling states with the right perspective then the appropriate actions came from me with out effort or intention).
Anyway you seem to be coming at transition from a very similar perspective that I had, and im absolutely fascinated with anything you have to say. I'm 38, and I have no time to waste.

whats some dynamic feminizing activity like dancing you can do other than voice practice
whats something you can do outdoors

>>41915764

>outdoors

Once you're on HRT I would recommend walking in the woods to meditate and open your thoughts, think about your changing cells and how your body is progressing through time like a plant. Other then that just go outside and girlmode

>dynamic activity

I just like to go to the gym. I like running and swimming the best.

>>41917781
>girlmode
i'm not hrt at least now but a while back i was really femming up my appearance in small but significant ways but it made me so cringe so hard thinking about what i was doing cause i wasn't exactly like a super beautiful girl and listening to guys talk about tomboy type girls made me feel so ashamed of cross gender crap

>>41919204

It takes a lot of practice. I spent years learning how to take care of myself and perfect femtwink aesthetics, I had detransitioned and then tried to be straight. Then after HRT it took me over a year to get good at outfits, makeup and aesthetics. You have to go through the awkward queer loser part to get to the hot effeminate final form. It's not just something women or anyone is born with.

>>41919523
think i look ok enough not really about perfecting the form but how i look to others it's like i'm giving away and showing myself too much and some or shall i say most will definitely think of you as a pervert even in a perfect effeminate form cause you ain't a girl
i guess a social circle of women could maybe give you some confidence in femininity but no way i could pull that off best case some loser women will stick around even then some stacy will btfo you with some random comment and you'll be ready to drop everything

>>41887627
Op so do u think I should try this too ?

Imma twinkish guy and very MEF... the thought of being emasculated especially by force is super hot. Im rly into femdom and castration/penectomy too. Dont rly like actually being feminized tho unless its forced.
Always been envious of how women are treated, desired, how they live and things they can get so easily... even the role in bed they take.
But the problem is Im disgusted by men and have 0 desire to do anything with one unless theyre a femboy or smt... if I were gay I would do this stuff without a second thought.
On top of all that I live in a shitty country so I cant get any surgeries at all but without it my face on estrogen would look horrible (my body would be cute)
I cant get out of here in a few more years at least so by the time Im out (if it happens) Im gonna be in my early 30s... is it worth doing any of this at this point ?

Do u have any advice for me ?

>>41909489
most of the triggering probably comes from it being visually gross

anyone wanting to be attracted to foids just has to think about cute afab bois and their fertile little wombs, ready to be imsemenated

im ngl im a cis bi guy and this has nothing to do with the thread. but pinkpantheress is so fucking hot jfc

>>41919677

I won't deny that looks are important you have to be conventionally attractive as whatever you're presenting as. Some AMAB people have the ability to look attractive as a woman and some don't. But everyone regardless of their age and body type can maximize their feminity and present themselves in an aesthetical pleasing way to people who like that. Sometimes drastic changes in weight loss, plastic surgery, and makeovers are needed. However people tend to underestimate their potential to be attractive and feminine and I think a lot of males have more potential to be hot as women than as men

>>41920989

>don't like being feminized unless it's forced.

Not sure how I feel about this one, i was into a lot of "forced" feminization, but it was both what I wanted, as well as being degrading. Over time I came to realize it was more what I actually wanted and I stopped caring about the "forced" part. I think this was a process that began in my early 20s, since that's when I was most into "forced" feminization. I do believe that the erotic part of "forced" feminization never comes from being forced, it comes from the feeling of having your true self exposed and accepting this. It starts out as something scary and humiliating and slowly becomes a joyful and empowering process.

The important thing is what you actually want. We all have different preferences and values.

I want to be extra clear about who my process is for: if you hate your male self, if you are utterly bored and disinterested and ready to break your male ego and rebuild it, this process will work. If you are thinking in terms of "which path is better?" You might not have the potential for this.

>disgusted by men

Yeah i would have said i was "disgusted by men" too before I had sex with men, after a multi year process of experimenting i realized the "disgust" is more of an ingrained fear of being gay and of needing to be feminine. When I started having sex with men i pushed myself to do it as a degrading act, but i soon found i liked it a lot.

The way you begin thay sentence "if I were gay..." sounds like trying to reassure yourself. The fear of being gay is deeply embedded.

>my face on estrogen would look horrible.

I doubt it will look bad.

>is it worth it at this point?

My opinion is, if you're 28 or younger you have time to do the full process. If you're 30 or younger you can still make it if you start HRT. I think it's possible to be quite a beautiful woman with a masculine face if you're attractive. Maybe not passing, but enough to have a good life.

>>41914653

I will say I have read your posts and I do not think I can help with your issues, you've already been on HRT a long time, you started at an advanced age, your realization was very late and frankly you seem just too desperate, about what i don't know, but it almost makes me uncomfortable-- you are not skeptical enough. This process isn't about looks or passing, it's not a magic trick, it's specifically for repressing men in their 20s who are in repper purgatory and have been for a long time to suggest radical ways to break their thought patterns. It looks like you're looking for a miracle solution to some kind of problem in your transition and I really don't have answers for that.

I think for a late in life transition sometimes you do need to accept that 50% or more of your life is over, you're not going to be seen as a cute girl, but you might be able to be seen as a serene older trans woman if you can let go of the desperation. I would advise leaving this place, the toxicity here can be lethal, I've been burned by it many times.

>>41921362

Literally gross i don't understand straight men at all why are you even in this thread. Also like talking about impregnating trans mascs is transphobic and deprives them of agency. It's like you're just obliviously talking about rape. I'll never understand men.

>>41921375

Agreed... she's also half British and half Kenyan i think which is an interesting combination. Hopefully the whole island looks like that within this century lol.

ngl I've jerked off to this AGP fantasy thread at least 3 times and more to come. thanks for the gooner content OP

>>41921552
>i realized the "disgust" is more of an ingrained fear of being gay and of needing to be feminine. When I started having sex with men i pushed myself to do it as a degrading act, but i soon found i liked it a lot.
fug
>>41921719
did you jerk off to it directly or did you do the things listed letting the feminine effects sublimate a bit and then 'jerked off' self inserting harder

>>41921802
I jerk it knowing OP has made an elaborate scheme with which to convert straights into sissy faggots

>>41921817
yeah poor damsels