Hi guys. I'm turning 34 soon, and it took me forever to realize this, but the thing about your parents is that they will never see you as either a man, or a woman. They see you as something much more pure, and beautiful, which is as a child. Their child. Parents have a MORE FLUID IDEA OF GENDER than younger people. Parents love their children ANDROGYNOUSLY. You being a woman is not what they're afraid of. It's not being able to get a job, or a spouse, of drugs, of dirty sex at gay clubs, all of the treatments, the infertility, the surgery. It's all that stuff.Understand that when you have a child, you develop a new kind of love that has nothing to do with romantic love or the love of friendship. The love of a parent for their child is something different. It's something profound. Remember that even hardened criminals who are actually bad people have parents who love them. You are never truly fallen to your parents. And yes of course, this means that the idea of their child, their beautiful child, making all of these intense changes to their body a very scary thought to them.None of this isn't to say that you're not right to stick up for yourself and that you're wrong to feel angry with your parents, even really angry, but realizing what a parent loving their child is actually like gave me much more peace of mind about it. It helped me.
>>41904996My parents hate me and want me to die but ok
>>41904996ngmi
I had to teach my parents to stop caring about me in this way. They had to be taught that, however beautiful their love may seem, excessive love only makes things more complicated and at a certain point you reallly need to let your kids live their own lives. Their time to influence and care about me was 20 years ago, now its just cringe.
>>41904996I have thought about this until my brain soupified and resolidified several times over. My conclusion is that they may love me and I them and we all love each other love love love, but I’m still thinking more dialectically and considerately about this than they are. I am considering the impact that this has on my family and am acting accordingly, but the big problem is that they have no sense whatsoever towards making this easier for me in kind. In fact, every conversation I have had with family about my sexuality or identity has only ended in me being hurt.Yeah, I can detect that they’re scared, I’m scared too, but if they’re only going to set me back then it’s just better for them to stay out of my way. They won’t though, and thus the really hard part is continuing to see my family’s goodness and love towards me as I navigate around them having set themselves up as my opponents
>>41905241Definitely, yeah. I think you're absolutely right and that's ultimately what non-accepting parents do: make the problem worse for themselves, and then blame you.
