Im not good at altruism when it comes at the cost of my own comfort. Even the slightest annoyance makes it hard for me to do altruistic things. However, if something is genuinely no problem for me then ill do it gladly.Of course there are exceptions, like when people are in need for survival etc, i gladly help them because it triggers my tribal biology.However when its just doing nice things for people, forget about it. Like getting presents for family members, it just doesnt give me any dopamine at all whatsoever, why would i do it? All it does is cost money and i dont gain any dopamine from giving them the present. A few times now iv bought people presents but ended up eating it myself because i just couldnt resist The only people i like getting stuff are partners, which means i really dont care much about my family. I am an outsider. I am foreign. I dont belong here. A superficial Dopaminergic vain silly little fleeting relationship is more important to me than people iv known my entire life, thats incredibly deeply sad. When you realize it.It means im not attached to people whatsoever, regardless if partner or family, friend or foe it matters not..The only thing im attached to is fun, dopamine. How incredibly vain, how pathetic, what a sad state for a human to be in. I am socially disabled. I am not fully human.
struggled with gift giving as well. it never did me any good. i never felt good doing it. felt like a chore, which is, to me, antithetical to the whole concept of friendships.i'm barely a functional human being, but i guess i am socially defunct, and i've made peace with always being an outsider.
>>41922603>>41922630Do it anyways>but muh dopamineit gives me dopamine to eat meat guwaharharLife is an exercise of testing how much willpower you are willing to expend to do the harder thing you should be doing.
>>41922953Oh, I'm not doing a single thing I should be doing though, by the way.I even had a sense that was like "I should put in effort to understand anon and give a proper response that would help them along."I didn't even do that.I'm gonna listen to this song because it gives me dopamine, let's listen together...?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJirzFqSp-A:)
>>41922603I'm not sure exactly how one would utalize your strengths to be frank. For example as someone who gets a lot of dopamine from helping others, I typically avoid people like you because there's nothing I can build with them so long as I'm the one taking the lead. And I neither trust, idolize nor truly depend on others so I see no reason to let others take the lead.Though your analysis is very self aware, let me offer a little light.You're capable of great thing on your own terms. Vain is a label, only a means to an end afterall. Look at your post, you don't care about being shallow yet you do? No. Rather, it's not that being vain bothers you, but the pain and lack of fulfillment of your relationships. Maybe even the guilt of using others, though I don't know you well enough to say for sure. Nothing apocalyptic, lucky for you.
>>41922603you have to start locking in. theres not much time left.
Lots of good advice here.
>>41922603You are describing narcissistic personality disorder. Get help or kill yourself.
all hope is lost.
>>41922603i like to get gifts but never on holidays or when youre supposed to give them, i only like to get little things for people if i saw a thing and i think they'd really like it or it made me think of them and then give it to them only on the not-gift-day even if the gift day is very soon bc i am obnoxious
remember when jannies banned people for blogposting?
>>41922603based af. i am deeply cisheteronihilistic now, whenever I get gifts they’re always men’s size or just way too big. ive given up on trying to be close w my family. women feel attacked that i could be the same size as them, whenever we go shopping they always grab stuff that is just too big. one of the attendants even corrected them on it saying there was no way i was a size 12. despite saying they accept me, if cissoids know that you're trans/knew you before you trooned they will never see you as a woman. you have to start over while stealth or just give upsize: 36B chest, 29" waist, usually wear size 6 or 8
>>41922603>However, if something is genuinely no problem for me then ill do it gladly.if you arent vegan then youre a liar and a piece of shit with a superiority complex
>>41925131Veganism makes no sense. It's not my fault someone kills an animal just because I pay them. Money isn't an excuse to kill. They should just turn down the money, quit their job and do something else. If you pay a hitman to kill me that's fine. Doesn't mean the hitman should kill me. Give it a rest.
>>41922603idk i so like helping others, my main raison d'etre is to try to improve the lives of as many ppl as reasonably possible
>>41925201should i play this game today, the one in your picture there
>>41925223Yeah play the shit out of alice in wonderland: madness returns.
>>41925216>is to try to improve the lives of as many ppl as reasonably possibleI cannot even fathom this mindset because im so self absorbed.I think im just built different honestly. I am selfish by nature
>>41925216i think that this is a path i'd also like to take
>>41925273ok I will
>>41925506altruism is born out of powerlessness and being abused as a psychological defense mechanism mixed with magic-based brainwashingMy raison d'etre is helping "selfless" people become selfish again.Personally I believe the natural harmony of everyone being selfish and the interaction created works better for almost everyone than people being brainfucked cucked by moralfag wizards.
>>41925820Ehhh that seems kinda retarded lmao.Im 99% sure you're wrong.Look at altruistic people, they're beautiful, they have a divine radiance that we dont. We are of the void, and they are of the light. They admire us and we admire them. But ultimately humans are tribal, meaning people who benefit from the well beings of others both emotionally and logically are more human than egoists like us.Personally i think i have both. Like on the surface im vain and superficial, but ill go to far greater lengths to guide someone the right way, where as others will say its not their responsibility. So when it comes to everyday things in selfish, which isnt that bad because they dont matter that much anyway.Its not a black or white thing, we all have both energies in us fluctuating in different ways. Ultimately i think it comes down to what you do in moments of true need, and whether you're merely a jerk on the surface, or rotten to the core. People can be corrupted, energies are ever in flux.
>>41925899checked dubs
