Do any other tranners feel like God has a plan for them that involves them detransing and permarepping, and that this plan and the pain involved is also somehow an expression of God's love? Or at least that it is required of them and that God will make sure there is adequate consolation in this life and the next?I think I might be a bad person, because I feel this way a lot and yet refuse to detransition. It's selfish, and shows that I care more about myself and sticking to my guns than I care about God.
>>41952901absolutely not, the idea of detrooning seems spiritually evil to me on a fundamental level.God wants us to self-actualize
>>41952942I understand your perspective, but it kind of feels like my time spent trooning/boymoding has been the real stagnation for me. insofar as I've been sort of hopelessly dissociating through my life and have no friends and spend all my time on the internet.
>>41952987And I dunno. it feels like something in my brain hasn't worked right for the past couple years. It's harder to pay attention or think of things to say. And some sort of thumotic energy that used to be there is just gone. I dunno.
bedtime bump
Early into my transition, a friend helped me find God and introduced me to an Apostolic ecclesia that showed me the glory and passion of faith, and I truly loved it there. I remember being conflicted, though, as our apostle made an anti-trans point during the very first sermon I heard there. I think he perhaps toned that down afterwards, there were bigger fish to fry and he may have seen that I have some sort of gender issue and went for a more nuanced approach. It really was an inspiring place for the most part, but I did feel uncomfortable realizing the strong undertones of gender conformity. My friend was totally oblivious to any aspect that I felt uncomfortable with, as she perfectly into the paradigm.I sat in that contradiction for roughly a year and a half. The pressure mounted as I progressed my transition outside of that setting, including social transition. The women there got to be pretty, they reveled in attending in their beautiful dresses, but I couldn’t dare to do the same. I grew envious of the church ladies and contempt for the unfairness of the situation. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, and I scouted out a progressive Lutheran church that was outspoken about its support for the queer community.For my first day at the new church, I dressed in full gender, with a long layered skirt and makeup. In retrospect I still hadn’t formed a completely sound fashion sense, however it was modest but bold and that suited me enough.The culture shock I felt was dramatic, it ironically had more of the trappings of a more conventional and traditional faith. The people there were really quite kind, but I couldn’t manage to connect to them like I could with the congregation of my previous church. The substitute pastor there was lesbian, and she actually gave a pretty touching sermon that compelled me to start attending this church regularly.Continued below
>>41952901try it, it might work... you say>transition has improved X thing for mebut did it really? or did you just use transitioning as plausible deniability to do X thing?could you do X thing without transitioning?
>>41954886Now for the REALLY dramatic part. When I got in my car to go home, I received a message. It was the clearest that I had ever heard the Lord speak to me, and he told me to head straight to my previous church as I was. I had a panic attack in my car, it was really scary, but I knew I had to. I called my friend on my way over. She had skipped to hang out with her boyfriend and wouldn’t be there to stand by me, but she assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem at all. When I got there, I was greeted by one of the church staff that sometimes substituted for the apostle. I always loved speaking with him, he was friendly and engaging, but he had a pretty somber tone greeting me as I approached in my trans presentation. I gave him a strong hug and went inside.The ecclesia ran later than my new church, so I entered as the apostle was giving a sermon. I believe I might recall the initial instances that I caught were about resolve. Everyone was sat in the middle section of seating, the apostle often asked everyone to collect tighter together when the attendance was lower, but I sat in my otherwise usual left side apart from everyone and began praying as he was speaking. The tone quickly shifted, and another one of the staff that I was fond of sat beside me and rested his hand on me to comfort me. As the apostle’s shift turned to a pretty clear but measured disapproving response, I continued to pray intensely. When he had finished giving his peace and the sermon itself, the gentleman next to me brought me to the front. He gathered everyone to come lay their hands and pray for me. It was in that moment that I understood why I was commanded to come here, as I realized that all parties involved from both churches had Christ in their heart even with the dramatically different perspectives.I exited the church and began to weep uncontrollably. One of the church ladies came to comfort me and ask about my perspective, which was nice.Continued below
>>41954992As I was about to leave, my friend’s ex approached and asked to speak briefly. He told me that he was impressed with my bravery and had a lot of faith in me. He admired that I was devout as well, and remarked upon my friend/his ex being absent. I had some feelings for this man at the time, and this moment inflamed that, but I would go on to refrain from doing anything about that as to respect my friend. She was a little hurt that I had these feelings, and she told me that he wouldn’t go for me anyways. Still, I wish I had maintained his friendship.After I left, I let out a long exhale and laughed the rest of the way home.
>>41954886>>41954992>>41955029Oh I kinda forgot why I was writing all of this, to respond to OP. I came away from there feeling like I could really be a transgender Christian. The Lord above doesn’t want us to suffer, he wants our inevitable suffering to result in our betterment. Our place as Christians isn’t to quietly check all of the boxes until we die and go to heaven, the grand mission is to unite the Heaven and Earth with our goodness. We should strive to be adequate representatives of the Christ in our hearts, and I personally found that I was more equipped to do that as a liberated trans person, rather than a disassociated cis person. I hope this has been of even an iota of help to you.God bless you, and Merry Christ-is-the-hope-of-glory to you.
god isn't realghosts ghouls and goblins aren't realtranswomen are malesmales that have sex with males are homosexuals
>>41952901God is not real and if he was he would be an evil egomaniac stop letting fairytales invented for social dominion get into your head
>>41955088rope shartynigger
god is a loser
>>41955075Thank you nona
>>41955088>>41955535>>41955566God loves youhttps://youtu.be/slOBjPXqDDM?si=Wx1EIL35pDYrSl8b
>>41955088>God isn't realIf God isn't real then trans people ARE real. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too, anon. You don't believe in God? You don't get to believe in God's natural law then.
>>41952901i felt this way, detransed for a year, and experienced the worst depression of my life. i still don't know if transition is right for me, but i'm acting in ways that are "gender affirming" in a lot of ways, anyways. maybe i'll just butchmaxx without the HRT. maybe i'll say i'm just a woman who takes HRT. maybe someday i'll feel confident enough to say i'm a man without caring what religious freaks have to say about it.
God doesn't care. He has billions of trillions of souls to enjoy. A few trannies and faggots is basically a rounding error
Didn't think it was God's plan just that I was too old and had lost my chance to continue, felt like my life was over and just dedicated to do whatever others expected of me, took me quite a lot to realize I was wrong, ironically, the decision was pushed by someone that was always transphobic towards me, I was set on leaving my past behind but they couldn't, not a single day passed when they didn't remind me of what I was, what I went through, so after several years I decided to restart, I had nothing to lose.
>>41958518It's nice to see someone who feels the same way. Maybe biting the bullet and just stopping hrt for a few months is the only way to know for sure.
>>41952901god doesnt exist
>>41955029Did you ever go back to the first church? Do you think they prayed for you because they wanted you to detrans?I dated a Christian third for the last 3 years and wrestling with my connnectim to god has absolutely wrecked me multiple times. Sobbing beyond control, feeling like his plan is to make me accept that I am just not trans, but that being trans is invalid. I still don’t know how he feels but I do feel he wants me to forgive myself to some extent. I have incredible, crushing guilt at all of my desires for men, my own transition and my relationship with the world… but the despair gives way to numbness usually unless the thought of self forgiveness or forgiveness through god comes up, then it restarts the cycle of sadness, self-hate and repentance.
>>41959677Agh, so many typos>dating a Christian tgirl>connection to god>accept that being trans IS still valid (for some)
>>41959677I did go back to that first church just one other time, and yes they absolutely unambiguously were praying for me to detrans.The night before, my friend calls and says she wants to spend the day together, so the next day I commute up to her place instead of going to church. I left bright and early, so I didn’t put together a nice gender outfit, but I wasn’t dressed like a ragamuffin either. When I got there, she and her bf were hanging out, and she wanted to take him to church for the first time. It was an exciting prospect, but she still attended that church so I was trepidatious about it. She convinces me to tag along, though, against my better judgement. I kept my head down and avoided the conversations that I previously absolutely loved to engage in, I wanted it to be uneventful. Unfortunately, after the stunt I pulled last time there was no way I was going to get away it not being of distinct significance. I managed to make it through the whole pre-game, but the apostle likes to riff off of the dome a little bit and I gave him inspiration. The sermon was about Genesis and the natural order of things, and I felt like it was really pointed at me, but again my friend didn’t acknowledge that at all. It really drove the point home that this was now contentious ground, and I quietly exited and waited for my friend to wrap up.Over time, I began to notice little issues with my friend, like how she would codeswitch how she would refer to me depending on who she was talking to. I eventually confronted her about it, and she admitted that she was humoring me but that she would never see me as a real woman. We had a fight shouting match, and I walked away from that friendship.Continued below
>>41960894Several months later, the better part of a year landing just quite recently, she calls me and says she wants to meet up. I go to her new workplace and meet her there, and she is happy to see me. She apologizes to me and said that didn’t realize how much what was going on was hurting me, and that she has had a change in perspective. We hug it out and I leave, but it’s still a little awkward to this day.I’m out of town now dealing with a whole other can of worms, my brother outed me to my parents and now I’m living back home, so I can’t really hang out with her anyways.In response to your own issue, aside from what I said here >>41955075 please also remember that the modern Christian paradigm is influenced by the society around it. A lot of people say that trans acceptance is so poor in America right now because of Christianity, but I hypothesize that it’s more like America and American churches are influencing each other back and forth. Sometimes you have to cut out the noise around you and listen for the Word directly. I hope that helps, God bless you.
>>41952901QoT: No, if god exists I am a demon, but he doesnt so I'm not
>>41952901I feel like god, the universe, whatever wanta me to troon. Every single thing that has needed to go right for this to happen has happened. Even the fucking crazy meta shit that puts me into the right headspace at a critical moment to respond properly. It feels like fate.
>>41952901yea sorta I’m not really religious but I still feel like the “correct” path for me would be to detroon and permarep like that is my ultimate goal and rn I’m just waiting around for the motivation to actually do it
>>41952901Detrooning and "repping" are viable strategies if you have God's help. It works because God is real.It is very obvious why transitioning would be contrary to being aligned with God, in the sense that your sex is something God has ordained for you.If you believe in the resurrection of the dead, you have to ask: will I be raised in a male or female body? The obvious answer to this question is that you'll be raised as you were born. Why would a loving, all-intelligent God create you male in order to resurrect you as female? No, I don't think a loving God would make someone male without intending them to be a man. It's a show of trust to accept your sex and the social role that entails from God, trusting that that really is what's best. With that said, we're all in a process of sanctification. Lots of people have sins they haven't repented for fully, things they should do but don't out of weakness. Even if you fail to align with God's will you should still stick with him, because God is love and his love is infinite.Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
>>41961685i experience a similar pull nonagonna keep following it
>>41952901i used to feel that way for a long time when i was actively repressing and early transitiongetting out of that mindset took a long time but going back feels like it would be identity suicide at this point
>>41952901No. Pretending to be a man was the sin.
>>41962091>If you believe in the resurrection of the dead, you have to ask: will I be raised in a male or female body? The obvious answer to this question is that you'll be raised as you were born. Why would a loving, all-intelligent God create you male in order to resurrect you as female? No, I don't think a loving God would make someone male without intending them to be a man.okay, but what about developmental disorders or clubfeet or intersex conditions? Does God intend people born that way to stay that way forever?I don't mean this as a gotcha, this is a genuine question.
>>41962319Honestly, it's a mystery. Either it's something God has intended to express the Glory of God in some way, or it's a necessary feature of the natural world as it exists now, or it's a feature of a fallen world. When we're resurrected, disability won't be an issue.There's a certain point where you just have to accept that some features of the world are mysterious. We don't really have a complete picture of the world as humans.
>>41962319As for intersex conditions, I suspect you would be conformed to one sex or the other after the resurrection, but I'm not 100% sure. It's possible everyone has an ontological gender (i.e. "he made them male and female") but their body reflects a variation of that subtype, and they'll be resurrected that same way.
>>41954886>full gender
no, I don't get that impression in fact I at times feel the presence of God in my life guiding me to make moral choices as a trans woman and I nonetheless reject it. but not always.>I think I might be a bad person for transitioningyou're not, but it's possible you feel like / are a bad person for other reasons and are trying to tie it back to your transness as cope.it is also possible you are afraid of taking anything for yourself and consider transitioning as you have to be selfish in this respect, as part of a complex that is very common for trans women. you must reflect on your feelings to truly know, and you must do so while you take care of yourself or your thoughts will only become dark.>>41952987God doesn't care about your material success. He wants you through words and deed to build His kingdom on earth. this is done in numerous ways but especially through humility, faith and love, which is practiced through love of God. it is not done through proselytizing or through political agendas or other fleshly values. they are of this world and not of His kingdom, and those who attempt to use God and His house of worship for political agendas are heretics who will go to hell. there are many priests and pastors in hell.do you do a good deed daily, anon? do you understand that God's word through his Son Jesus Christ alone is the final law of the world? that is all He asks of us. He does not expect you to be perfect either, He loves you nonetheless.>>41954886my grandma was a Lutheran pastor, she passed recently. the service was Lutheran and quite nice. it felt humble and blessed, it genuinely made me want to renounce my sin. unlike a stuffy anglican service I had been to, which gave me a genuine sense of unease - as if the death was being used to spread certain values.>>41958518>>41958640>>41961685>>41962091everything that has happened is God's will and so is everything that will happen.
