>Extremely normal childhood, grew up as a girly girl>Suddenly become jealous of men around puberty>Fantasize about transitioning throughout middle school but give up on it because I'm too feminine>Start questioning at 15>Not being able to transition at 16 drives me to attempt suicide>Stop thinking of myself as trans afterwards>Eventually start testosterone at 20>Go off of it and give up on transitioning multiple times over the next year and a half>Now trying to get sober and to dedicate myself to transitioning so I might be able to come out
We'll see you on the detrans grift circuit next year, lil AAP repper
it's joever, m'lady
>>41957704how can you go from attempting suicide to stopping T or giving up?what was the thing that actually drove you to attempt suicide? was it dysphoria?having a normal childhood for your birth sex points more toward you not being trans imo
>>41957772Wants the benefits of being female but not the drawbacks
>>41957772I was probably never truly dysphoric, and instead just overreacted to realizing that I had missed my chance to be a youngshit and how little hope I had of ever having a genuinely masculine body. Remembering that I'll never be able to start hrt any earlier than I actually did can still make feel suicidal tbdesu>>41957778Being a woman would be perfectly fine for me if I was physically male, nothing about the female social role or having to deal with misogyny really bothers me.
Bump
>>41957935>Remembering that I'll never be able to start hrt any earlier than I actually did can still make feel suicidal tbdesufelt, anon. i was this way for several years; just stay on T and you will get over it in time. it hurts really bad right now but the regret will fade.t. five-year mtf
>>41960924It's a really rough feeling. I don't really know what a trans man would miss out on but it's agonizing knowing that there was some possibility of having an existence I didn't need to be a man to cope with. t. MtF who spent too much time as a man out of irony
>>41957704we're living the exact same life anoni wish i was born with a penis
>>41957704> Somewhat adverse childhood, thought everything was normal tho> Become jealous of men at puberty> Before I cut hair, adamantly say I'm a woman, tell theyfab friend how I feel about having long hair, they joke "hair dysphoria"> Spiral at 16 thinking I'm transgender and wishing to be a boy> Intense shame and fear of reaction, very religious household & aggressive dad> Closet while masc> Try to be he/him lesbian> Troon out at 19> Convinced I didn't pass and everyone saw me as a woman> Family mocked me & never accepted me after 2yrs HRT> Internalized brainworms make me feel like I'm lying to people when I say I'm a man> Detroon depression> Now 99% sober & realizing I want to poon out again> Therapist says I'm not allowing myself to actually "explore" despite bitching about it for the last 2 sessions> Feel like my transition was stolen from me> Just want to get on hormones again without feeling like a freak & fixating on hips & body proportions I can't control> Never going to come out to family again, will just be a masculinized woman with a beard to them anyways> Going to stealth when I can, nobody sees you the same once you break stealthI have my life planned out for me but i'm scared to chase it. I think I have to if I don't want to kms
>>41957704>endless mental gymnasticsYou'll blend in perfectly living like any other woman, don't worry Nona.
>>41957713fpbp
