i used this board basically nonstop from the time i was about 16 to the time i was 20. i spent so much time steeped in it. for a while it was my only exposure to trans people to any real degree.i left it a while back. i used to be decently popular on normie social media but then i deleted all that too. im pretty severely autistic but ive learned to mask it around others and i do fine socially. i pass to most strangers. i have sex sometimes. people seem to like me.i’m unbearably lonely. it feels as though something in me has been fundementally damaged ever since i was a kid and it prevents me from ever being a full human. i have a good therapist (cringe, right?) and they’ve made me realize just how much i’ve been suppressing my emotions over the past several years to not constantly break down. now im just starting to feel things again and it’s overwhelming. basically no one in my personal life knows how much of a wreck i actually am.anyway. if you’re wondering about what life on the other side of this board is like, ask me anything
>>42043005I'm not the guy that asks this question habitually but, do you like animation memes?
>>42043014maybe? to be honest i don’t really know what that means. only thing i can think of is like those youtube videos made by sixteen year olds of their ocs dancing to music and stuff
why come back? honestly i left this site (this board didn't exist yet i was a /mu/tant) after i transitioned and came back a decade later and it literally makes my life feel way fucking worse lurking and posting here
>>42043031probably some self-destructive impulses i haven’t fully worked through. stuff in my life is going pretty shit right now and the pain of this place feels like a kind of home to me now lol
>>42043036too real im also here for self destructive reasons. maybe its cus i quit gambling is why i came back here. i hope you figure your shit out ok
>>42043046thanks anon, you too. good on you for quitting gambling. i think mostly the reason i feel so bad is actually having to process everything that’s happened to me over the past few years instead of just dissociating and forgetting stuff like usual
>>42043020nta but that's pretty much what they mean
>>42043070ohnot rlly i guesslike i don’t mind them i just don’t really have an opinion one way or the other
>>42043083if you're not with us then you're against us
>>42043054thank you i was lucky enough quit while i was ahead which i know thats usually never the case for addicts. sometimes its better to feel something bad than nothing at all and it sounds like you are gaining a better understanding of yourself now
>>42043005So does it get better in terms of passing? I am 18 and very early in my transition, it is excruciating. I feel like it is too late for me
>>42043120yeah 100%. this board is full of extreme doomers when it comes to passing. my advice would be to bite the bullet and start learning makeup and voice training asap. it’s going to be embarrassing to begin with but there’s no way around that and you’ll really benefit later on. also maybe figure out what’s good for your hair in terms of products. 18 is absolutely fine to transition and you’ll most likely pass fine if you put in the work of personal styling.
>>42043099yeahidk im really struggling to mourn the feeling of lost innocence. like i was never really a child
>>42043127oh also— start figuring out what you like in terms of fashion. this is kind of hard to do and there’s no real speedrun strat to develop this stuff. you sorta have to give yourself gay guy brain a little. i’m in a position rn where im around a lot of trans girls starting out and a lot of them go super heavy on the dramatic goth fits which is like cool and validating or w/e but it’s going to attract a lot of attention in the normie world. i like to go for a comfy academiccore look— big chunky sweaters, long thick skirts, etc. find out a style that you like and stick w it. check out thrift stores
>>42043127I hope so. I'm on DIY and I'm a boymoder. I live with my parents and they have no idea about any of this, it is so daunting
>>42043164im sorry anon, that sounds rough. how far in are you?
>>42043172Just under three monthsI was honest with my parents about my gender dysphoria when I was younger. But I felt ashamed and they didn't take me seriously, so we all forgot about it. Now they think it was a phase, but it wasn't
>>42043031>literally makes my life feel way fucking worse lurking and posting hereI guess one thing I did keep from my former life is the sense of humor.I simply can't let cringe/edgy anons (especially if under the age of 30) get to me.It's just entertainment. And it's free. Sometimes I read something so outlandish here that I'm like "i can't believe this place is free of charge"Maybe that's a mentality you should adopt too.t. MtF 14 years in
>>42043179woof, yeah, that’s a bad place to bemy advice is— and i don’t expect you to take it, because i probably wouldn’t have when i was where you were— to get off /lgbt/. this place is corrosive and terrible for your mental health. you need to find community with other trans people off this site, preferably irl. i know that’s not easy though
>>42043198anon being here this long is not the badge of superiority you believe it is
>>42043201Thank you, you are kind. I don't think there are many other transsexuals where I live, and I don't feel as if I have any right to seek them out regardless, as I am closeted
>>42043222Who said I've been here uninterruptedly? Or that I'm only here.It seems that too many of y'all lack imagination. It is perfectly possible to have a normal life and still shitpost or lurk in shitposting places from time to time.Especially these days when it cane be done over the phone. Or like right now when the weather is shit but Christmas isn't here yet and there's still some work to be done, albeit at slow pace.Better to kill time shitposting than gambling /shrugt. same MtF
>>42043135everyone seems to have different answers for "never felt like a child" problem. whatever the case maybe be just be easy on yourself as if you were a child. i wish i felt like i didn't have to grow up so fast>>42043198my social life and personal life improved significantly by leaving and actually interacting with other trans people even if some of them were cringe. i actually had relationships that didn't suck and became well liked in my small community. i also stopped treating people like idiots and realized i was no better or worse than them. like i said im back here cus i stopped doing something bad for me and replaced it with something sightly less bad for me
>>42043252i can't argue with that it's definitely worse to gamble than be here i guess>ex-gambler tranny mtf
