Is it my fault for getting raped? Was it even rape? Idk man I feel like it’s my fault. Here’s the story tho. Not bait this really happened to me years ago and I still can’t get over it. >20 mtf>on Grindr doom scrolling>guy chats me up, I reply because I’m bored>as I’m intermittently replying I’m getting rlly drunk off wine>he tells me to come over>sure why not>get ready and walk over>stumbling the whole way because wasted>arrive at his place, it’s really dark>he’s standing in the room and tells me to sit on his couch>ok cool>he asks me if I’ve been with very many guys before>no not really>im fucking plastered and smell like booze >slurring my words>he grabs me by the neck and tongue kisses me >picks me up and puts me on his bed>he’s strong, I’m scared>starts choking me >takes my clothes off>he’s inside>fucks me senseless>after he finishes I ask if he wore a condom>said he didn’t bc I said I hadn’t been with many guys>lay in bed and make small talk bc scared>I finally leave after awhilethe worst part is, some of it felt good even though it hurt at first. But I can barely remember it. The biggest thing I’m pissed ab is the fact that he didn’t wear a condom. Am I retarded?
>>42096106this is why alcohol is evilyeah it was rape, im sorry nona
You went on an app used solely for sex, went to someone's house because of an invitation on the app, and didn't make an effort to say no or anything. Your own decisions brought you there. You didn't deserve to be raped, but you have the survival instincts of a lemming.
>>42096124I just feel so stupid bc I literally walked to his place and did it to myself baka
>>42096156Yea I’m retarded I’m just glad I didn’t get an std ig
You went on a gay hookup app and had a gay hookup.At no point did you express that you didn't consent to what was going on.How's this rape?
>>42096156kill yourself
>>42096178one person was very very drunkone person wasnt drunkif i was hooking up with people and someone was blackout drunk i simply wouldnt do anything to them
>>42096208also not op
>>42096178I mean valid point. I was terrified to stop him desu but yeah also I was wastedthe biggest issue for me is that he didn’t wear a condom and didn’t ask :(
>>42096106Are you with many guys now
>>42096252lmao no
>>42096236why did you want to stop him?just out of curiosity
>>42096236i had a similar thing, it’s scary when a guy moves too quickly with things and you suddenly aren’t comfortable speaking up. i wasn’t drunk when it happened but he was way bigger and started hitting me and stuff and also didn’t use a condom. it wasn’t your fault though and i hope you can shake any weird feelings that you’ve been left with. you deserve better
>>42096106if someone was sober enough to walk to my house its safe to assume they can consent to sex. also why not ask him beforehand to wear a condom?
how about you just express that you are uncomfortable in a sexual situation?
>>42096303>>42096299>>42096178>>42096156men are so evil :/
>>42096264he was choking me really hard to the point where I was almost passing out and I freaked out and froze
>>42096178do you know what consent is? idk if ur murican, but here in europe consent means saying "yes!", not just not being able to / not saying "no".
>>42096303how about you ask if the other person is comfortable? have you heard of consent?
>>42096279Thank you
>>42096313There is no male loneliness epidemic, men are just not worthy of connection
>>42096260Are you cute
>>42096299well I didn’t know we were gonna for sure have sexbut ig. I know it’s my fault. It still fucked me up. He was really strong and scary.
>>42096329I think soI’m not a full blown passoid but the gender to misgender is pretty solid
>>42096335anyone can consent to sex but that doesn't mean they did. "why not ask him beforehand to wear a condom" is a sentence arranged by someone who doesn't understand your story
>>42096340Hope you can graduate to straight men some time
>>42096364Thanks. I’m gonna try and get some sleep but I appreciate the Nonas here that are kind. To all the men yes you’re terrifying and you need to be aware of that.
>>42096364i asked since it’s weird for people to expect protection on grindr. i’ve fucked around 140ish people off of there and no one stopped me from ever fucking them raw. it’s always been me hitting someone up, then we meet up and i fuck them. it’s the anything goes casual sex app
its rape. the assumption in rape culture is that by showing up at his house, you gave consent. unfortunately men tend to operate on this logic and it is bad not just because it means they might rape under these norms but also that they will defend men who rape as well, and they will gaslight rape victims.my first time with a guy was fortunately very consensual although it turned out later on that he was not in fact male. my second or third time with a guy was not so peachy. i feel there is a sense of "virginity" that is before you have realized what does and doesn't signify consent under rape culture, and the way to lose it is by getting raped. once you've internalized this it can be easier to avoid unwanted experiences but unfortunately it is often traumatizing to do so. there needs to be better education on sexual violence precisely to avoid situations like this from happening. unfortunately i do not believe men can be taught not to rape, they must be systematically deterred from doing so. until this is the case, perhaps with the rights of women to kill their rapists, we will need to teach about rape culture and patriarchy and how to live in spite of it. doubly unfortunate is that the entitlement is the entire appeal of sex to some.
>>42096319>>42096323'Only yes means yes' is a law in Spain and California - nowhere else. I don't live there, so I have learned that if I don't want something to be done to me sexually, I will have to express that I'm uncomfortable. What's so hard about that?
>>42096424yes means yes is becoming more and more widespread as all of the eu countries have signed the istanbul convention which mandates it. its a well known fact for doctors that people freeze when theyre raped.
>>42096106Yea, you are stupid, and you probably just damaged, if not ruined your ability to trust and pairbond. You are supposed to wait atleast a few dates before doing serious stuff with someone. You just let him use you like a sex toy. I'll never understand what is wrong with you people. Just go on a normal date first? Seriously worthless. I feel bad for your future boyfriend.
>>42096703It is only ratified in Spain. Also pic unrel.I agree with yes means yes but stop spewing bs
>>42096733Kys
