Good evening. I'm a young man who has been recently struggling with tranny thoughts and i'd appreciate some advice.I believe these thoughts to have been caused by long years of solitude, my ugly appearence as well as social indeptitude and utter lack of intimacy with women.I experience what could be classified as mild dysphoria in regards to my stocky and extremely broad upper torso, as well as the general shape of mh skull/face, however i do not mind my penis or what little muscle i've built up whatsoever. Facial and bodyhair irks me the least and i could go through life fully bearded up as well.My ugliness primarily comes from an unfortunate mixture of this ungainly blocky build as well as a goblin-esque slavic skull phenotype complete with a huge crooked nose. I've had these feelings for about 4-5 years. I'm currently 21.As a thought experiment, in the perfect scenario i would not desire to transition socially, and instead just stay in my hidey-hole as a "hrtrepper" or a man on hrt. I also fear aging and have been doing all sorts of looksmaxxer bs to avoid it such as collagen banking and skincare.I'm uncoordinated and had an eating disorder as a teenager.What do (you) make of it? Is there any pertinent literature i should get familiar with? My mom says when i was a wee lad i would try on my sister's dresses but i feel like most kids do that since apparel isn't directly linked to your sex nor does it hint at an intersex brain condition in any way. Thank you in advance.
I also think it'a not impossible that i'm a low-functioning sociopath who'a just trying to snatch up some sort of an identity from what he saw on the internet.I really don't know how to categorize these feelings.My life is pretty good aside from the loneliness and what i've described above.
Maybe you're genderfluid, but to me you sound more like you're trying to cope and make excuses for why you're not actually trutrans even though most of what you said sounds pretty common for trannies.Buy some estrogen, schedule an appointment with an endo, or do something productive instead of overthinking it. The thoughts will never go away on their own or no matter how much you repress them.
>>42099637The question you have to figure out is this; are you deeply unhappy with your appearance for the variety of reasons you listed because it makes you an ugly man, or because you desire female sexual characteristics? It's something to think about but isn't all that important imo if your goal is looksmaxxing. The second question you now have to ask yourself is, what do you value more; your looks, or fertility? From a purely pragmatic pov, outside of dysphoria, estrogen restored my entire maturing hairline, thinned the appearance of my jawline out (the fat distribution, not the bone ofc), made my hair much less naturally oily & by extension wavier, reduced my skin oiliness (it can get dry but its like a perfect blank canvas to use all the products i want) so now my skin is stupid soft, I could go on. Aging is super fucking scary and estrogen has reversed much of the aesthetic effects of it for me. It makes it feel like I have some fucking control over my body for once in my entire life instead of just, existing passively inside of it while it ages further. But...you will very likely become infertile. Not sexually dysfunctional, but yknow, shooting blanks. So it's up to you to take some time to think if that's a cost you're willing to trade off. I basically exist in your perfect scenario; sit in my neet cave w/ my blankets and stuffies, hrt rep, and exist. I'll never ever ever come out to my family. Also don't forget: you will gain feminine sexual traits from taking estrogen, if you choose to. There is no such thing as take a lower dose long term to avoid it like some try, bc you need an adequate dose of sex hormone (any sex hormone) in your body for the metabolic processes to properly function. Would breasts bother you? A bigger butt? Bigger thighs? Maybe even a little fat to your hip pads? If those things bother you, think twice. If they appeal to you? Well, keep thinking lol
>>42099637take your HRT, retard
>>42100004>deeply unhappy with your appearance for the variety of reasons you listed because it makes you an ugly man, or because you desire female sexual characteristics?I think i would be content with being a handsome man, but even then my ideal of "handsome" is closer to androgynous/twinkesque and not like an alpha gears of war commando. Being taller sounds like it'd be cool just for the practicality of it but then again, my blocky build causes me distress even tho that's a desirable quality in a male body etc, so i'm not really sure. I don't think i'd want tits.>The second question you now have to ask yourself is, what do you value more; your looks, or fertility?I was never really into the idea of having kids, i'm not good with children and i think i'd be a bad dad bc of my personality, but then again, it's something most people don't think about until they're older so i dont know either. I've thought about it and the idea of being sterile forever is kinda unnerving because of the finality of it, but i look at it in a way that no normal person would, like an end to a bloodline etc as opposed to just not being able to have kids.>Not sexually dysfunctional.I don't like having libido that much so i wouldn't really mind. I've never had the opportunity to have sex either so it wouldn't change anything.>Would breasts bother you? A bigger butt? Bigger thighs? Maybe even a little fat to your hip pads?Yes. No. No and No.Wouldn't mind any of those aside from boobs but they also don't address any of what i'm concerned with lookswise. My hips/butt and lower torso look good and appealing bc of exercise. It's just that my skeleton kinda blows and hrt cant affect that.Also forgot to mention but i'm bisexual, but i've never had a crush on a woman or a man and have beaten out the desire to have sex out of myself with blackpill rhetoric. I get sad watching romcom animeys but i have no plans or a desire to ever actually have sex or be intimate with a woman or a man.
>>42099637sounds like a cope for a lack of desirability
>>42100429I think so as well. I'm OP.I intend to fully self-improov and try dating and if i do that and still feel that way i'm probably a troon. I wouldn't want to make a life-altering decision just because i was sad in my early twenties and a crumb of pussy would fix me.
Bumpy
>>42102914nah, sage this shit ass thread. we aren’t your support group, faggot. get a life and fuck off.
>>42099637If you do really troon out you might want to try social transition before hormones as this will allow you to feel what you want with no risk of being on hrt and finding out your not Trans. Social transition comes up for most troons who do hrt at some point anyway because you start feeling like you can be part of something (hrt is great for what it is). In my experience starting social transition first helped me avoid a lot of the pit falls I see other troons fall into.
>>42103003Ok. Sorry.
>>42103013I would rather get lashed across the back thousand times a day than pretend to be a woman in public.If that's a strict prerequisite to taking meds then i'm content with just leaving it as is.I live in a small town so if i were to do that and then quit i'm forever gonna get ridicule. Also as mentioned i look ugly as fuck. No way i'm doing that in the era of smartphones.
>>42103144I'm not saying you should change your mode of dress at this point, just introducing yourself as who you want to be.I wouldn't say its a prerequisite to take hrt just a precautionary step as hrt can and will effect most peoples sense of self.anyway you've been told
>>42103223Fair but that would still make me a major laughing stock and feels like something you'd tell someone to sabotage them.
>>42103261I live in a area with low population density too and I've had to deal with a few creeps but people have generally just nodded to me and let me go about my business and work. From a lot of the trans people I know in this situation the general concusses is that people don't care. I understand it being scary though as it is in someway a bigger step then hormones, I did it first because I was stuck on waitlist purgatory, and I needed to do something to move forward.
>>42103328You're far braver than me and i respect that greatly. That being said in my perfect scenario i'm just gonna take meds and take, tell no one EVER and take it with me to the grave.It's the scariest thing i can imagine. I would never even open up about my hobbies to another person let another that shit when i'm 100% just an ugly slavic dude genetically predisposed to slave labour and alcoholism.Not 1 thing womanly about me.
>>42099637Many such casesYou're not gender dysphoric. That being said you still deserve to be happy. The truth is, as an ugly cis male your life is over. You will amount to nothing. You will be less than an insect to women.Trying to become a female is sad but there is a good chance you could live a happy life as someones tranny princess sucking cock under a superior man's desk
>>42099637good news, there is no such thing as being "trutrans" this is a cope often purported by trannies to larp as one of the good ones, when in reality the only difference between them and boomerhons is having a better childhood and better genetics.so the good news, you can do whatever you want to do, you are what you make happen. the bad news is, if you dont have the genetics for it theres a limit to how far you can go.if you are comfortable with stuff like having a beard then maybe you dont have the feminine personality required to pull this off. thats more of a red flag to me than you being "ugly"ive known trannies with big noses and fridge builds, they got ffs and are cute imho.
Would you want to be a man if you could be saul goodman?
>>42103447This feels like homosexual grooming.>>42103530So are all trannies just guys who want to be women for reasons less or more fetishistic depending on case by case basis? Like there isn't any magic intersex brain condition?>if you are comfortable with stuff like having a beard then maybe you dont have the feminine personality required to pull this off. 1. I feel better when i'm cleanshaven. When i was younger i shaved legs and torso and it was nice but i kinda gave up on that. It's something i can stomach but i don't like it when i look in the mirror. Blocky build/skullshape make me feel miserable tho hence the distinction.2. I don't have a feminine personality at all. I'm a neurotic shy introverted man with a lot of stashed away frustration bc i lack the conviction to exist in the world in a meaningful manner. That is to say, classic incel male nerd archetype. Aside from that i feel like i don't have personality or that it may be stunted sue to utter lack of social interaction. I don't really know who i am and that's part of the issue, see >>42099690I also don't have the personality to pull anything off. I'm fairly unssucessful at just about everything i touch so i assume larping a woman would be no different.The ugliness i guess i could move past and am trying to. I believe with very dedicated looksmaxxing i might get to 5/10 and like 6/10 with meds maybe hopefully. It's just not very good.Thanks for the response btw. >>42103680He's really cool but i couldn't do it. I'd get fed up with having to talk to people midway through the first scene of any given episode. He's too high-energy for me to ever embody.
Also i feel the need to reiterate the point. I don't really feel like a woman in any way and given the chance, in a perfect scenario i would just still sit at home just as a chemically castrated man and would never socially transition or admit to anyone that i'm on hrt.I don't even open up about hobbies to people in my class so i'd never ever tell that sorta stuff to anyone irl.I thinn i might've just failed to grow up into a man am now coping.
Post face on unsee. It couldnt be that bad
>>42105277NUH UH.I promise you it's genuinely just slav goblin face with huge nose recessed jaw bad skin and bushy would-be unibrow.I'm never posting a picture of myself online ever.
>>42103013Don't listen to this inbred . You can try hrt and stop months later if you want to. If you go by prescribed dosages it will be low effects and can reverse it.
>>42105835Dont call her an inbred, thats rude.I dont agree with her advice at all tho.Due to how my nation's medical system works i can get hrt tomorrow and fully legally if i want. There's a bunch of services that hire buttloads of doctors, stuff them into cubicles and then they do 100 "Evaluations" a day and prescribe anything to anyone for a fee. I've done it before with non-tranny meds and they dont give a fuck. I'm just very neurotic and cautious so i dont want to do it until i'm 100% certain.
