Just saw the Christmas photos of myself, depression beard and all. I genuinely look one step away from suicide.Then I compared it to 2 years ago (pre-detrans) and I still looked sad but I looked comfortable with myself.I genuinely look like I've aged 10 years in 2.5, in old photos I look genuinely angelic and so pretty and clocky but couldve passed (I dont know why I couldn't see that before)Now I look like russel croweThe absolute second I get back home I'm booking 10 laser appointments in debt and injecting estrogen again. People keep saying I look good now and more grown up but I genuinely only have the beard because I cant stomach to look at myselfI just hope test hasn't ruined me too much now, why was I so fucking stupid, I looked so happy and honestly looked and felt good
>>42120954it's good that you're going to continue, gl op
>>42120954>fell for the detransition memeIshyddt
>>42120954I hopenthe best for you hun :) there is still time to be yourself, what makes you happy is important not what makes other people comfortable.
>on and off>cant decide
>>42121066my ex fwb/boss convinced me to and im bpd so i just do whatever the person im currently obsessed with wants and he knew that and now he doesn't wanna fuck me anyway coz I'm too masc and depressed>>42121110>>42120974Thanks, I'm really upset I stopped, I was so close to being happy. I think I also wanted to make my mum happy too coz she didn't approve (from a place of love and ignorance) but she just got told she has 6 months to live so now I dont know what to feel, I think ill just manmode and keep it secret and let her be at peace with it until the time sadly comesI was going to wait until she passed but seeing these photos today combined with my mums imminent passing really isn't a good feelinh
>oh no i look like this famous handsome actor
sorry for the walls of text im drunk and high and sad but I took this photo earlier :)
>>42121211no I look like him past his prime like in that road rage movie in op despite being like 4 decades younger and the absolute soul crushing sadness on my fave at a Christmas surrounded by family that loves me is kinda funny though
>>42121208start the pills etc rn though, and yeah I hope your mom comes around given the circumstancesand I'm sorry about your mom, btw
>>42120954Ygmi, don't give up. I keep a photo of the day I started HRT just to remind myself of how bad it could really be in case I ever feel like it's hopeless.
>>42121284>>42121249thanks anons I really appreciate it you are all.tpp kind :) do u know if its ok to start straight back with mono ev injections (0.18 at 20mg) or shud I supress the T first with an AA, I sorta dont remember the science
>>42121471you can probably go directly back, I do remember monotherapy itself acting as AA. Check in hrtgen, of course
>>42121471I would deffo take aa's with your E until you're sure your T is suppressed, but consult with an endo if you can.
