ive been really tempted to look for hookups since ive been very lonely recently but am unsure if its worth it or not.my main issue is that its probably gonna make my already weird attitude to sex worse. my ex bf was sexually abusive and im scared im gonna run into someone like himim also scared of being hatecrimed, but since i live in a pretty progressive country (australia) i dont think thats going to be much of an issuedo i look for hookups or not? does anyone have any tips or advice?
>>42140092lets go on a date and if we vibe we can see how you feel about hooking up nona :)
>>42140226i dunno if hooking up with people on 4chan is a good idea...then again hooking up with people in general is rarely a good idea...maybe ill just stick to dating apps or something
>>42140092Hookups are fine but I don't think they're the cure to loneliness in any regard. Especially if you're still having issues with sex as a whole.
>>42140596i know there isnt a "cure" and thats not what im looking for by wanting to try hookups. i just want something that might get the ball rolling for me and maybe talking to more people than my very limited friendsmy attitudes to sex arent *that* bad, theyre more just periodic breakdowns about how "i shouldnt feel sexual attraction at all it makes me just like my ex" and maybe hookups can change that. im not expecting to meet the best people ever but i just want something that gets me going out a bit more and seeing people i wouldnt otherwise. even if its just to fuck and cuddle.
>>42140092As someone who has been in a similar situation, you really shouldn’t seek out hookups as a substitute for loneliness. If you’re horny, don’t wanna masturbate, and are ok with being emotionally detached, have a hookup like once or twice a month — preferably with someone who you might already know. But as someone who was sexually abused by an ex and went on a spree of hookups (like 12 a month for 3-5 months) after breaking up with him, I can only say that I wished I treated myself kindly and stood up for myself. You need to do the same otherwise you’ll feel terrible. Be safe out there <3
>>42140638how are you going to remain emotionally detached if you're having sex regularly with one of your friends?like you already have an emotional connection if you're good enough friends to do this with and then if you have sex all the time it'll just get stronger
>>42140092I do hookups but that's mainly because I have an avoidant attachment style from all the humiliation and failure I endured in my formative years, it's great because it lets me get my rocks off without having to date and hurt people, as long as you can keep feelings out of it and keep it casual, it's good.
>>42141643like how you don't fall in love with a prostitute/stripper basically.you can enjoy it, just don't expect anything extra from it.
>>42141994yeah but a stripper is not the same as a close friend who you would feel an attachment to even without the sex
