> be me> ftm 3 years hrt, pretty much fully passing since month 6> have cis boyfriend from before I transed> likes my hairy ass>sucks my dih and has drunkenly said it's super hot how big it is now> gets a super boner when I hump him with prosthetic dickbut> says he would describe himself as straight> completely ignores the question of if he sees me as a man or not, I have asked him multiple timeswhat did he mean by this?Should I leave him for my autistic nikke obsessed friend who is gay for Astolfo?Current boyfriend is relatively normal aside from being a little racist
>>42145985depends, it is pretty fembrained to love a hot guy regardless of him respecting your identity, it is pretty malebrained to stay in a relationship where you're treated shittily because you can't get any better though
>>42146020monkeybranching is also really fembrained, as is getting mad over facts.
>>42146020He lays some good pipe, which is mostly why I haven't left him yet. But also my parents and dog like himI have a feeling it might just be a situation like pic related
>>42146197except without the I see you as a man part
>>42145985Both of those options sound miserable and i think you should go make some depressed twinkhon very happy.
>>42146212If I was bisexual I would already be dating (and forcefemming) my repper irl 4tranner friend, it's really quiet unfortunate
>>42145985Do you hate yourself, are you on the hunger map? If he sees himself as straight, he doesn't see you as a man. Honestly, gay/bisexual trans guys are constantly making the worst relationship decisions at all times.
>>42146505Only a little, and noI think it's mostly my autism clouding my judgement. But yeah we should probably breakup, only thing is that we've been together for like 6-7 years (lol) so it feels like throwing away so much. Sunk cost fallacy or whatever though, idk mane
>>42145985>Current boyfriend is relatively normal aside from being a little racistOn this alone and you should stay with him.You've been together for 7 years? You actually have a normal relationship with a guy that actually loves you and desires you.And you want to throw that out over some brainworm? JFC you are your own worst enemy.The man loves you (he wouldn't have stayed with you through transition if he hadn't) and desires you (how is that not affirming, duffus?). You literally won at life.And you want to throw that away because he doesn't use the approved shibboleths on an image board used primarily by mentally ill people.Who gives a shit about labels?Let him call himself whatever he wants. He is clearly at least bisexual but ultimately what matters more is love not some arbitrary label.
>>42147018True true, I've asked around on other places as well, close friends, plebbit, etc.One friend was neutral but sad for me, the other asked if I felt safe around himHe's also said he wouldn't be with me if I were born male and skirts around the question when I ask if he'll still be into me after surgeries and as stated above if he even sees me as a guyHe's very ashamed about it if he is bisexual, won't do mild pda in public anymore, not even around friends. I know he hasn't told the other half of his family about my transition, at all. Which hurts a bit.He only told the first half of his family after like 2 years of me being a tranoid. Also won't call me his boyfriend, and still refers to me by they/them as far as I know..I really do love him though, me being a fagoid has been the only hiccup in our relationship really. But I don't know if I'm just comfortable and that's why I'm still staying with himIt's mostly just embarrassing at this point
>>42147198>the other asked if I felt safe around himWhich is a very sensible question.This is a fundamental one for anyone (cis, trans, doesn't matter): Do you feel safe with/around your SO? If yes, you already won.>He's very ashamed about it if he is bisexual, won't do mild pda in public anymore, not even around friends. I know he hasn't told the other half of his family about my transition, at all>only told the first half of his family after like 2 years of me being a tranoid. Also won't call me his boyfriend, and still refers to me by they/them as far as I know..Optics shit.Do other people fuck your boyfriend or do YOU? Do other people live with him or do YOU?You will never please all other people. Life doesn't work that way.My fag/bi husband didn't mention that I'm trans to his family for several years until just before the wedding. And even then in passing. In fact, I advised him not to tell them at all if he has any doubts about it.People's families are always complicated. All families have secrets and white lies that they tell to keep the peace. Welcome to adult life!We just did our thing. Got married, got a house, got richer and, lo and behold, one by one the previous haters also came around. And some didn't and who the fuck cares?>skirts around the question when I ask if he'll still be into me after surgeriesOf course he does. NOBODY knows in advance if their attraction will work exactly the same after the partner changes.That's why in most of the situations when someone troons/poons out the relationship collapses within a year. YOU already won against impossible odds. And instead of appreciation, you dish out misery. Why?!>don't know if I'm just comfortableComfortable and content is the point of a stable relationship, bro.Chasing perpetual happiness and butterflies in the stomach is teenage shit. Real life doesn't work like that.Real relationships mean compromises and work.>I really do love him thoughThen lean on that!
>>42147307When I say not tell his family, I mean he kept up a ruse that I am still his girlfriend/a girl, even though I'd see his mom in public with a male appearance, deep voice, and facial hairHe's said before that he has low self esteem and that he would never end the relationship based on that, was a few years ago now so I don't know if that's still the caseWe're both in our early 20's and have been together since like middle school, so still both live with parents. I only see him like once a week and he makes me feel worse when I'm with him a lot of the timeWe're both into outdoorsy stuff, so it's nice to have someone to do camping, backpacking, kayaking with.. I really would rather us be friends. But he doesn't agree, and if we were to split I don't think we'd have any relationship at all
>>42147437You are your own worst enemy. That's my take.You should be working to move together. Build a future.Instead, you let yourself brainwormed into thinking about leaving a man who loves you.Do whatever you want. Good luck on the dating scene (which is at its peak on fucked upness for everyone but especially trans people).You rock, Chad! I'm sure you'll find a nice guy who tootally dreams of marrying you and affirm you in every single respect and who also just happens to have impeccable family who will be thrilled to learn their son is marrying a pooner. Because that's how real life works, kekHeaven forbid you do some compromising. It's all about you. He has to conform to everything according to your ever-shifting standards. When was the last time you conformed to his?Relationships aren't perfect because people aren't perfect, anon. You will eventually learn this. I just hope you won't learn it too late in life, after the possibility of happiness will have passed.Youth is a temporary thing. Most of your life you won't be a young outdoorsy backpacker. Most of your life you will be working to have food and you will want to come back in a warm home at/with someone who is excited for you to be there.Whatever you decide, at least keep this in mind.
>>42145985Yeah he's very likely a faggot in some sort of denial. He definitely likes your masculine energy so you shouldn't be worried about that at least
>>42147602I just want someone who can simply admit if they still see me as a girl, or man, or weird fucked up third thing. And not lie to his family on the phone in front of me that I am a girl and still my original name when I'm notWhen I am old, I think I'll be fine as long as I have a friend or two, but that is not something that can be promisedI guess I will take it as it comes, maybe we can finally have that talk he's been saying will happen for the past 2 months
>>42145985He just seems like a faggot that just needs to come around it
>>42146724Understandable, have a great day! :3But seriously, sometimes it's just your opinion, but talk to him. If he considers himself straight and doesn't say he sees you as a man, it's a warning sign. Even in long-term relationships — whether 20 years or 6 — it's never too late to end it. If it worked at one time, it doesn't mean it will work forever, and it's never too late for a fresh start, especially if you have different values or he doesn't see you for who you are.Saying this is nonsense and should be dismissed can be harmful to your own mental health. Before thinking about him, think about yourself too. Reflect on yourself, weigh the pros and cons, and decide for yourself; because even if we advise you, only you know the daily reality of this relationship, and sometimes even with therapy, you have the final say, after all, we have free will.
