OK I'm a woman who likes other women. It would be weird if I liked men and never acknowledged it. I don't like men.I never did. I don't. I don't like men. I don't like men. I DON'T LIKE MEN. Hahaha just kidding with the uppercase I don't like men. Its that simple. I never did. I've always liked women and I have had no reason to suppress attraction to men. I mean I'm not even into a lot of enbies let alone men. Right? Yeah. That would be silly. I'm used to dating women! I can't be thinking about men in this way. I mean everyone's a little bisexual and sure I did think that I liked that one guy but... but I don't like men.I never do. There's no reason... I'm not some straight bitch. I'm not gonna be some dumb dudes tradwife or a babysitter for one of the guys that's been hurt by the whole male loneliness epidemic. I mean, I know that's not all of them, but I'm just not into them. Its boring and potentially dangerous and there is no reason for me to think about it any deeper. I won't ever do any kinky shit that would be detrimental to my actual life... I only like women. My feminity does not depend on men or being weaker and even if I did find such a thing kinky or hot, its NOT ok. Its NOT Sane or Safe. I need to stop worrying about this. Besides I have a girlfriend and sure its open relationship but I... don't know. Its just weird like I only seem to like women. I've tested that already in my head.
>>42150956I mean maybe if its a trans boy, it would be OK in a lot of these ways. I respect them. But my attraction would not be towards their gender......I don't like men I don't like men Idontlikemenidontlikemenidontlikemen
Maybe I should stop calling myself poly and just settle down into almost-monogymy. Like, I can make my version of "poly" work; it basically just means an open relationship where acknowledging and entertaining crushes and dates and having sex with anyone is allowed as long as I'm with my primary primarily...But maybe its safer to just not do any of that any more and just be safe.
>>42150980(to be clear, I say I can make it work from experience, but only with women and I'll only EVER do it with women. Men are ok as people but I won't have sex with one or date one because I'm not into it.
Why is this bothering me so much??I can't stand it. I don't want to feel like I'm a woman just because men are attracted fo me. I don't want to fall into bad habits like other women I see who are straight or dating men. I fear the idea of losing my perspective. I fear the idea having to handle something I fucked up with before.. That kind of awkwardness on both sides.. I don't want to go through that again ever. Don't want to lose people again. I don't want to get addicted to kink and have that fuck with my head until something bad happens like that dumb bitch from One Piece with the maid outfit (I've nearly finished Dressrossa if you know about One Piece).I just want it to go away so I don't have to think about how its easier for me to be sexually submissive. I don't want that to ever become a problem again like it has before... unlike some people I don't do that because I'm not fucking stupid with kink. I think kinkshaming is a dated fucking concept at best that needs serious change.Any feeling of attraction I might feel towards men is something I worry could be a different thing, something I necessarily keep to myself. I don't need ANYONE knowing that I masturbated while skimming a fucking Counter-Earth pdf, the sci-fi/fantasy series written by a horrendous mysogenous and that gave rise to a terrible subculture known as the Gorean subculture, that I pirated. Its awful.I hate this so fucking much.Thing is I don't even like what I pirated that much at all; I just skim for the parts that show submission and domination as actions and hate the stupid monologuing of the female protagonist about how super cool it is to be a fucking slave. But I still masturbated to parts of it. Fucking why??I just want to be a women who is with women who are nice to me and make me feel safe and secure and all that shit. Just cuz I dress femme doesn't mean...
God if only I had been born liking my old body or if I had been a cis women. Gay or straight. Just anything but this..Things would be so much easier. I wouldn't have all this horrible baggage. If I was a cis woman, I could just find a man and not worry so much if he would fucking kill me. I wouldn't have all this sexual hangups. I wouldn't be a masturbation addict or want so badly to feel like a woman, to make up for lost time. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to feel like I want to do sexual experimentation all the time, like pretend to be a puppy girl. I wouldn't have this part of my brain that so desperately wants to be validated as a woman. I wouldn't have to be painfully politically aware.I wouldn't feel the need to come here and post all this garbage.I just want it to stop. Why wasn't I just born right?If I was just a cis woman... Or, actually better yet, a cis man, it would be so much easier. Actually, if I was a gay or bisexual man, that would've been best.But... thats not me. I hate this.
Hell, if I was a real cis girl, I could talk to other girls.Instead, I'm an agoraphobic loner with only my girlfriend and an OK-ish therapist to talk to about anything.
