Just had to leave another online friend group because they invited someone into it who hates me, maybe they all do too.Have any of you made shitty experiences with bpd this Christmas season?
>>42157194My own BPD has been flaring very badly this week. Lashed out at a few friends. Regressed on a lot of progress I made on my internalized transphobia. Just a fuckton of really big, really bad emotions and I wish someone would just hold me and pat my head until they stopped but nobody's there so Im just getting anger and more hateful at the world and at myself for evolving into such a broken mess.This disorder is hell...
>>42157194this is the first year after a while that i havent spent my holydays ignoring my friends and family so im doing good actually. maybe its e.
>>42157194qcould be worse. One old friend started mocking me over the phone so i hung up on him and haven't talked to him since. I got really fixated on an old friend and kinda tweaked out in her dms a few times, but she's kinda fucked in the head too so she gets it and we are fine. I've been pretty avoidant with my family, but we had some nice times. Mostly just lonely.
>>42157194I dont have bpd, but I get drunk and crash out in basically the same way. Theres a 50% chance I ruined what was starting to be a rly wholesome and meaningful friendship and a 50% chance I seriously set back my friendship with another girl.I think a part of me just thinks I shouldt have friends. I can handle myself okay if im sober, but saldy I get blackout drunk and lose it ... my biggest ny resolution is to be completely sober again. I already managed it for 4 years before.
>get stupid rebound crush on guy>go beyond their rules for consent once, apologize>do it 3 more times bc of bpd detachment / impatience / impulsive brainworms >throughout this he talks to me less but still takes gifts / attention / etc>ffwd 2 weeks, get publicly outed as an abuser, blocked on everythingidk which of us has bpd. both maybe. i still have the crush btw
