I’m two years HRT and still manmoding. How do I get out of this funk? Sometimes I try dressing the way I want or wearing makeup and it looks okay, but the moment I see a camera it breaks me. Even looking at my reflection the wrong way makes me explode with self hatred. I don’t even get the chance to wipe my makeup off because by the time I’m out of those clothes I’ve already cried the worst of it off anyway.I don’t know how to escape. Help. I know I don’t pass and I probably won’t ever pass unless I get FFS (which I won’t ever have the money for anyway) but boymoding constantly won’t help me either.
I'm at ten years and I'm exactly the same wayI think if you do it long enough it becomes impossible to break out of
>>42163257same
>>42163265I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you have the will continue at this point. I hope things get better.>>42163267What keeps you in manmode? Is it self hatred? Fear of social alienation? I’m curious.
>>42163299I dont pass, however I got some calipers in the mail yesterday so when i get the courage to measure im going to know if i should keep bothering or give up entirely
>>42163319I hope things turn out for the best anon. Peace be with you.
>>42163330you too big dog
>>42163257takes practice. hang out with more girls. women create other women, that has nothing to do with cis or trans. you're gonna have some awkward times, especially at first. consider going as femme as you fan muster and then easing back to where your level of comfort is. invesigate vocal feminization!!!
>>42163330Thanks :>>>42163342I’ve done a fair amount of voice training but it’s not really helped. People can tell I’ve trained but I don’t have what I would call a passing voice. For most of my life I’ve had almost exclusively cis female friends. I used to spend a lot of time in cosplay spaces, but nowadays I’m not really that sociable. I have like, no friends whatsoever, and I find it very hard to socialise. My years of deteriorated mental health have made it difficult for me to function normally. My level of comfort is pretty much just manmode. I don’t know how to push myself past that without wanting to peel my skin off. I just feel terrible.
>>42163368manmoding and using your feminized voice is stupid. no shit they can tell you trained. vocal feminization is a piece of social transition, but if its the only thing you're doing for your presentation you're gonna reveal your hand. vocal feminization works better if you present as a woman
>>42163392I know it’s stupid but I feel like a caricature when I girlmode. If I go out in manmode with my half trained voice I can at least pass as a harmless gay man, which sucks but gets me less stares than the alternative.
>>42163410The only way I've been able to girlmode at all is to do it in a place that has other really weird people, like at conventions for stuff made up of a lot of other fags. It can feel discouraging even there to have people think I'm just a flamer gay, but at least I'm not out of place.
>>42163257>I’m two years HRT and still manmoding.same, im just over two years hrt. and i manmode a bunch.>unsee cc/album#3ii6bqCGMcuxany tips for passing? i need to get ffs
>>42163482Used to girlmode in cons but I’m in a small city and could run into my ex or my old friends or any number of people who think I’m a disgusting, worthless waste of space… maybe I just need to suck it up and do it anyway…>>42163514Why in God’s name are you still manmoding? Either you’re retarded or you’re a fucking glowie. Put on your makeup, get a better conditioner, dress cute. You’ll be fine.
>>42163514hmm, the reason people do off the shoulder looks is to draw the eye to very pretty necklaces. your chest looks so bare. if you had big tits it'd be a different story (just wait nbd)look into fem cut t shirts and blouses. getting a good girlie jean jacket would be very gender for you
>>42163514wash your hair and use minoxidil
>>42163527>You’ll be fine.you reckon i'd pass to most people? i get kinda glared at>>42163529>if you had big tits it'd be a different story (just wait nbd)ughh i want big tits NOW
>>42163538eat burger
>>42163551but im already so FAT
>>42163410it just takes practice. if you dont practice you cant get better at it>>42163538
>>42163560i hate this artist lol
>>42163514>picrelgiwtwm>>42163257I feel like inertia is the biggest problem. If you managed to do a little bit of girlmoding you'd be able to do a lot of girlmoding. But that initial hurdle stops you.
>>42163574you would think that this would be the case but not really
>>42163574>giwtwmsame, thats why i posted it
>>42163538You’re a little clocky but more time on HRT will fix that. You mog me by a longshot. Just work on your presentation and you’ll be fine. >>42163551This. Idc how fat you think you are burgers are important.>>42163560Yeah but the last time I tried to girlmode I called a low effort loser by other passoids and now I don’t want to because even my “maximum effort” is still considered lazy and embarrassing to them.>>42163574I used to girlmode lots early transition but I kinda got mocked out of it.
>>42163587i girlmode 100% of the time and i manmoded my first year of HRT. springtime is a good time to experiment with dresses since it's just starting to get warmeralso, there's no "half trained voice," theres fem voice and "think you understand fem voice but really it's tranny voice."
>>42163574NTA but it doesn't always work. Sometimes girlmoding backfires and I manmode for the next while.
>>42163651what are you talking about
>>42163649if you dont put in the effort you *are* a low effort loser what's not to get???? we're literally here telling you "put in the effort" and you're like "but its hardddd" no shit you wanna die a man? no? start living as a woman
>>42163649Other passoids I say like I also am a passoid. Lmfao. I fucking wish. >>42163651To say there isn’t a inbetween point is retarded. I’ve done a little training but still sound like a moid. What about that is so hard to understand?
>>42163667there's no "half vocal trained" voice, you either have found your fem voice and cultivated it, or you pushed the masc voice to the edge of what it's capable of. your masc voice will bever transform into a fem voice, you have to discover how to produce a fem voice
>>42163683I have no clue why you are ranting at me about voices saar
>>42163678https://voca.ro/19Nyz95s1kD1
>>42163668It’s not that I “don’t” put in the effort. I put on my makeup. I wear clothes that fit my body. I do my voice training. The problem is I am so neurotic and full of self hatred that I break down any time I leave the house. Has it ever occurred to you that some trans people actually hate themselves? That they have self awareness and can’t simply gaslight themselves into not caring when random people in the street give them death stares or hurl slurs at them? >>42163683Nta but I never claimed to have a fem voice. You’re acting like I claimed to have one or something. I know I have a moid voice. You’re acting like voice training isn’t a long and ongoing process.
>>42163714truly this is something that every "passoid" has gone through, as well as tons of cis girls when they're like 14
>>42163714i agree with the hate themselves thing, i posted unsee and i hate myself a ton for being a girlfailure manmoder tranny
>>42163727I don't think cis girls have to worry about being screamed at for being evil invaders in women's spaces simply for existing in public.
>>42163734no, but there are other kinds of violence that girls are subject to which they have to learn to work around. the worst transphobia i received i received before i came out
>>42163257femme versus masc presentation is more of a sliding scale than a switch. You don't have to switch to dresses, switch to jeans cut for women. Instead of a full face of makeup, try just some concealer and mascara. Subtle things won't make you feel as garish, but still do a lot to help how people perceive you!
>>42163760This is true, but there are also many more acceptable defense mechanisms and mechanisms that are kind of "baked into" society (at least in the first world). A tranny is often going to have far fewer allies and people they can trust and are seen as a much more acceptable victim of violence.
>>42163837people thinking "is that man trying and failing to look kind of feminine" is more embarrassing than just looking like a man
>>42163837I have a couple things I like that are sort of cute,,, there’s one hoodie I love and yes I know hoodiemoding isn’t really girlmoding properly but it’s really cute and I got complimented on it once so it does make me feel a little better I guess…
>>42163857you're mansplaining to a tranny what it's like to be a tranny idk what you want me to say besides "yup">>42163837this. one step at a time
>>42164035Op here.Just so we’re clear, that reply wasn’t mine.
>>42164043thanks for clarifying :)
phew im glad my unsee died
>>42163864if you say so! I don't think that's something I really experienced in my past. I don't think most people's brains work like that when they gender somebody>>42163868women do in fact wear hoodies believe it or not
>>42164459people who see a man wearing women's jeans or subtle makeup will think he's a creep
>>42164514hahaha okay anon let's get you your medicine and maybe a little snack okay?
>>42164666by medicine do you mean hrt? already on it
