How does a manmoder/HRTrepper fix their self image to no longer see oneself as a dysphoric male and instead see oneself as a tranny, let alone a woman?I can't ever make the leap seem to stick and just see myself as a broken, failed male or some weird creature with both autoandrophobia and autogynephobia.
try talking to depressed cis men, they probably see themselves as failures but don't have dysphoria like you do
>>42165620It's stupid because I like, stopped being depressed right before the tranny thoughts wormed their way in again after struggling for years with long term depression. Now with trooning out I'm severely depressed again and honestly just more mentally ill in general.
>>42165670I'm a manmoder and probably depressed, but I can say I'm probably not as depressed as I would be if I wasn't on hrt. I'm definitely mentally ill, but at least I haven't killed myself.
>>42165796The thing isI know I can stop manmoding. I have malefailed. I will almost certainly pass with FFS and the right clothes. But my self image is as a manmoder. I've been in this shitty stage for too long that the progress I made on my identity reverted.
I don't know. I'm just me. I'm slowly taking steps like getting a femme haircut or makeup. Still don't ever go into the women's restroom
>>42165537can you befriend a tranny who can teach you?
>>42165537idk i have just accepted that im probably not gonna live past 40 considering how bad everything has gone so far
>>42165830I have trans friends but they're just more woman than I am. Many have standard AGP histories while I frankly don't. I get really depressed around them tbhon.
>>42165537You have to let go of the male ego, nona. When you start thinking of youraelf as a woman, doing womanly things will seem natural. How do you start doing that? I focus on hkw different my brain and body feel from HRT. They arent at all like how I felt as a man. Those feelings just are, I dont have to inte tionally bring them into being. If I relax they are still there. So, I relax and groove with them.
>>42165954A big part of it is fear of being a woman. I had awful awful experiences early in transition and tried to detroon for a bit because of it. This and an underlying fear of transitioning only because I have an unstable identity in general due to CPTSD.
I know I’m genuinely no trans hrt male>befriend trans woman>she sees me as a real person and someone like her at first>I speak and reveal my life>immediately turns into a non relationship and how “there are all kinds of people” ally towards me>we mutually stop talking since I only ever initiated conversation>repeatMy newest friend goes beyond that and called me a dude irl multiple times. They knowI’m fake. I’m nothing like trans people and trans women more specificallyI’m just a dude. It’s obvious once you realize how fake my dysphasia is and how fake my feelings are. I just play it for attention and fake love.I’m not even bi, despite liking the taste of dick.Just a cis straight man on hrt
OP real answer hang out with girls and let them bully you into dressing cute>>42165815dumb do better put on a skirt nona>>42165796if you stop presenting as a man you will be happier>>42165620why would this help!
>>42166034I think a lot of people have this fear. It's humiliating to your male ego, and pretty much all of us have no idea how to be a woman at first. The question is how do you get through?
op is tomboying>>42166054its cuz you're a repressor on hrt. she probably thought you were a cute 2 month hrt baby, no shit i dont fuck with repressors>>42166034waiting to hit rock bottom before transitioning sucks a lot nona, i'd know>>42165954based>>42165874seems like a bad assumption>>42165830women teach other women, thats how it's always been
>>42166092I'm moving in with another tranny soon so hopefully that'll help. I have girlmoded before but it never seems to stick? Even when I do it's like "I'm a boy" plays on loop in my head unless I have alcohol in me. Like I will dress up and the thoughts in my head are "Everyone should hate me. Why are people nice to me? I'm wrong. I'm a freak."
>>42166123Oddly I was probably doing the best I ever was until tranny thoughts happened and I did so much to improve my life before trooning outAnd then I hit rock bottom and all these suppressed issues came flaring up.
>>42166123YeahI’m my a repressor thoughJust a straight cus man on hrtLaser, clothes, makeup or w/e else I do, they don’t make the difference for what my soul is lacking
>>42166122It's not necessarily humiliation. Its fear. The most humiliated I've felt in transition was when I was kinda androgynemoding, felt really confident and ready to come out, and then I had to use the men's restroom in front of female coworkers. That was humiliation. With male failing, it's fear and dread and worry and enough anxiety to leave me trembling for hours when I get home.
>>42166123I'm not really tomboying. I have tried that but when I do I just look like a man. Malefails have been brief and usually when my figure is obscured by dark, inflexible clothes.
>>42165815>I've been in this shitty stage for too long that the progress I made on my identity reverted.Sounds like you just need to spend more time girlmoding with people who already accept you. I have trouble doing anything alone, but I can do more than I otherwise would when with people who accept me.>>42166092>if you stop presenting as a man you will be happierI'm 6'2 and must manmode at my job due to it not being accepting. I can't reasonably come out there without it causing big problems, and it pays too good to leave. I suppose the heighthon curse makes it fine though because I don't have a reason to stop manmoding because I know I won't pass.
>>42166260The more I girlmoded the more I felt like a male imposter and it got bad. It sucks. Oddly enough with strangers I don't feel this way as much. I'm also getting weird and sad about some more changes lately. Thigh gap disappeared and that's bugging me.
>>42165537The answer, OP, is to sexualize your trauma through fetishism.
>>42165815You have to stop caring about your identity and being authentic and just conform to female gender stuff.
>>42166340I guess. I just cry in the mirror a lot. I don't know how I malefailed when I have such an oversized ribcage and shoulders and would just be better off as a guy. The boobs make everything worse.
>>42166308Missing thigh gap means your thighs got thicker. That sounds like more of a good thing.
>>42166441It should be, right? But it makes me feel bad.
>>42166328see I've tried engaging with like all sorts of stuff, even a detrans fetish or whatever but literally anything sexual feels like absolute garbage more often than not
>>42166260What kind of job do you work and how long have you been manmoding?
>>42167891Govt contractor. I have swung between manmoding and kinda fagmoding since I started early last year, with more fagmoding since the beginning of this year. The closet is glass for me, but lately I feel much more pressure to manmode.
