so i will never get srs, not because i dont want to but bcuz i cant. im poor so i will never be able to afford it>just get a cheap onei have extremely high standards for myself. i can only see myself with a vagina if its the crème de la crop, aka a high quality beautiful pussy that can be penetrated and is selflubricating and is physically and visually indistinguishable from a cis one. i wont be satified with a low quality cheap ass pussy, i want one of those designer ones. also even if i could afford it i know it wouldnt be worth it; as i am a cursed woman, a cursed being. i am extremely unlucky, if something bad can happen to me it fucking WILL. i know for a fact that even if i got srs it would get infected quick or would close up or my clit would fall off, or it would necrotize or whatever negative technicalities you could imagine will happen. dont try and tell me it wont happen because i know it will. i know myself and my fortune enough to know i would be one of those people on r/TransgenderSurgeries and r/honesttransgender talking about her broken pussies and how i need to get a revision but i already went broke from trying to get one so i wont be able to afford them. ill just use my money for ffs and maybe top surgery
2/?also i cant do anal. i was raped 3 years ago and it rendered me unable to have someone near my butthole without freaking out. im mostly into women anyway, i was only like 10% into men, and i was only into feminine twinks and those fuckers are never into other feminine twinks anyways. my faggot twink ex cheated on me with a FUB who gave him aids(lol) so i give up on men and will now date women, but my problem is that im too submissive and dont like using my dick much. i can only jerk off when im terminally horny (like extremely down bad) and i dont like those retaded masturbation methods hons pass around believe me i tried them, i need to learn to top. if im gonna be a dickgirl i need to learn to top and enjoy it so i can fullfill the futaonfemale dreams of bisexual women with bpd equal to mine, but i am struggling. i bought a fleshlight but i dont enjoy using it much, as i am somewhat numb on my penile area, and cant seem to bring back sensation.same issue with my orgams. also my foreskin is too tight, which i found cute when flaccid but when erect it hurts a bit. my dick is a bit over 5 inches which i believe is enoughanyways, how do i gaslight myself into liking my dick and losing my dysphoria?how do i regain sensation on my dick? how do i get hard easier? how to get harder cums?how do i regain my libido?
3/3becoming a top should be easier once at least 3 of those are achieved as i do get wet dreams where im a top and have enjoyed a dominant dynamic when online chatting, especially with pathetic trannies and weirdo freak cisf chasers and theyfabs and frankly there have been times where i genuinely fantisize about it. usually i feel dysphoric about my top fantasies but that has lessened as of late now that im accepting that ill never get a vagina and i need to learn to embrace them. it probably makes me faketrans but i dont care, i dont want to be one of those ugly asexual trannies whose only form of sex is mediocre frotting for 5 hours i need to have appeal and to be sexually desired to know i wont be cheated on and whoever is with me isnt settling and secretly hates me thank u for reading
>>42171490you can transition genders but i don't think you can transition bottom to top
>>42171490I don't have an answer you, I've been feeling similar but I think I'm starting to accept that I still just want my dick gone. I'm not gonna get my designer vagina this life but it's not worth it suffering with a penis either, I'm getting old and I'm just resenting my dick more and more.
>>42171611but im not a bottom, i cant see myself getting penetrated unless i had a vagina, which i dont. i dont desire getting fucked anymore. also i have topped in the past. my ex and i had a switchy relationship which i enjoyed. my main problem is dysphoria and sexual dysfunction which i am trying to fix and my submissiveness which i dont consider a big problem anyways>>42171641i used to think like this but i just know i cant. most risks ive taken in my life have ended badly, with me being terribly hurt. i am so scared of srs bcuz i know ill get botched i just know it, dont try and convince me any other way i just know. id rather use my money for other stuff. i am used to suffering and if i have to suffer from dysphoria for the rest of my life so be it. ill get over it. ill just gaslight myself into thinking its a womans penis or a "girldick" like those annoying reddit trannies do
>>42171664I'm not going to convince you, but yeah then I think you just need to deal with the dysphoria, be it by "gaslighting" or whatever. I'm at a point where I accept being botched to some extent, maybe that's gaslighting too I don't know.
>>42171490bonesjam is a cringy faggot
