>>42174339
>questioning
to what end - it's not like you can just become something else just because you would like it so.
reality doesn't work that way.

>>42174339
The only real choice you have to worry about right now is whether to start hrt, nothing else really matters right now (whether you're trans or what gender you are etc). Those things can come with time and exploration.

Write out a cost risk analysis for starting hrt, preferably don't include any costs or inconveniences that are forced on you by society (rather than the hrt itself and your own feelings about it) but I understand some people in some places don't have that luxury.

For me I came to the conclusion that the absolute worst case scenario of starting hrt was i end up as a detrans guy with boobs who understands himself a lot more. The absolute worst case scenario of *not* starting hrt was I end up 50 years old and suicidal because i never gave myself a chance.

You can think of gender literally forever if you want to since it's conceptual, you won't come to a clear conclusion by thinking about it. It's almost the least important question in that sense.

If you decide against hrt or are not interested in it at all then go have fun endlessly pondering gender if that's what you enjoy

>>42174379
Forgot to mention in the op that I am pondering both at the same time. What gender I am on a conceptual level, which isn't really productive, but still feels like a necessary part of my personal introspection, but also definitely whether I'd like to start hrt.
The issue is, I simply don't know. I understand why I'd want or not want hrt, but I whether I do actually want it or not still eludes me.
I do agree that the worst case scenario of me taking it is way less horrible than not taking it, but I still don't want to do something I may regret later. And I'm not referring to having to get my breasts removed if I were to detrans, but rather the fear that all of this has been for naught.

>>42174373
>to what end
I'm questioning in order to figure out whether I'd benefit from transitioning. I have tried some more actionable stuff, but nothing has given me any further insight

>>42174339
I mean I kinda get the impression ppl seem more confused and questioning than ever tbqh

>>42174523
On sites like reddit maybe, but here it feels like everybody is either a repper or actively transitioning, excluding cis ppl ofc

>>42174339
i def am still questioning. i still just say im nonbiney, but i really dont know. 4chan makes me feel like i want/should girlmode but idk. i started hrt at 24 because of that. so far its been fine and i like the outcome. i microdosed for half a year as well before coming to 4chan where i just thought fuck it and stopped hondosing myself. but i still dont know if im binary trans or actually still nb. am i enbycoping or i actually am an enby? dont know and atp dont care too much.

>>42174455
if you don't have dysphoria, you probably wouldn't.
i would argue that even people who have dysphoria don't necessarily benefit from transitioning, either. it seems to get worse for a lot of them.
not to be a dick here, but this feels like you're considering crutches when both of your legs are in perfect form.

>>42174416
You are already doing something you'll regret.

The pondering and agonising over gender is basically for naught, yes. Trying hrt and exploring will never be for naught because however it goes, you'll understand more about yourself, which is the ultimate goal that you will never regret.

You've told me yourself that one outcome is worse than the other, so just choose the better outcome. Continuing to agonise over this is irrational.