>came out at late 20s>started hormones at 31,mid 30s now>I'm tired of feeling like I look like an ogre.>Im tired of watching other people transition and pass me up>I'm tired of everyone getting surgeries done but me done>Im just exhausted, its been going on 4 years and I really dont feel any further along outside of my paperwork I feel like its only a matter of time until the people around me who transitioned in their 30s totally pass me up and leave me in the rear view mirror. They are all on their way to becoming women or are them now and im stuck looking like Fred in a dress from courage the cowardly dogThere are so many days when I think to myself I should have just ended it when I realized repping was a mistake and I'd permanently disfigured myself and probably destroyed any future I had. Don't listen to the desistence bullshit it never gets better it just gets harder and when you finally bite the bullet you are so much worse for it. That kid that couldn't carry the weight and said fuck it and transitioned as a kid, they were right you carrying that burden like syssyphis was incredibly stupid
>>42178523wishing you amazing fat redistro (idk powers w/ WGS figuring out what's blocking you, or w/e) and great girl friends to help with the physical and mental aspects so that you can finally feel more womanly, op
>>42178523same bestie im just androgynous at best and I hate leaving my house because I'll never pass.>came out at 17, hrt at 19, manmoding at 31 now
>>42178942I have great girl friends like I'm really blessed with some great cis and trans friends and they do try to lift me up. I'm also on anti depressants and do therapy but it honestly doesn't fix the issue its just nice to give me something else to focus on, I even luckily have supportive family. It still doesn't change how I feel when I look in the mirror or see a group photo with me in it. On the plus side I used to be between a 4 and 5 now I'm just a 3 but unfortunately I think minox and Finn regrown hair takes several times longer to grow so I have some long hair upfront but most of it is like buzzcut length
>>42179128look into the fat redistro thing in that case maybe - I'd hope a sufficiently womanly figure would help a lot
>>42179171Im 3 years in and have done every weight cycling trick I couldCurrently pushing my weight up from 140->170 and at 155 right now. I got some shitty little b cups but other than that I'm still a rectangle with a giant head and some very obvious balding/bald spotsPic related 3 years of HRTBefore that my widows peak was an island and my hairline was an inch higher At least during the winter I can wear a beanie
>>42179474>still a rectanglethat's why I was thinking WGS to see if it's something that can be worked with to get you good hip area fat growth and waist area narrowing (just regimen, or boosted with pio during bulking, when safe ofc)>baldingI'm out of the loop on the current meta there, sorry. I'd hope some of the follicles are in a state that can be rebooted with some crazy Powers potion, and failing that that transplants are viable and affordable
>>42179515NTA but what is WGS?
>>42178523you will never be a woman. you should kill yourself
>>42179559Not something id kill myself over besides I'm too busy being better than every incel on this site even as an ogre
>>42179515I mean technically none of what you see there would be there if hair follicles didn't come back.Before that i was half in most of those areas uptop for over a decade
>>42179043Please tell me all about your life I wanna know what’s it’s like please, I fear I’m gonna be doing the same I wanna know what’s in store for me
>>42179553whole genome sequencing. I swung by r/drwillpowers recently and that's what they're using to see which of the couple of dozen enzyme and receptor mutations you might be "lucky" to have, and with knowing the usual sex hormone (and adjacent) pathways, I see it helped figure out why some don't respond to certain regimens but do with others
>>42179670Ah okay. I've considered that before, but mostly for health reasons (I've feminized pretty well, almost too well considering my ego has not seemingly caught up to that).
>>42179686>almost too well considering my ego has not seemingly caught up to that).based>mostly for health reasonsmight make sense if you have symptoms or suspicions. personally I'm a bit tinfoilhatty, so I'd check how to do it anonymously (they had a thread on that iirc), if you go for it
>>42179764Yeah I might be uh, literally dying and it may be hereditary (sister also started dying a year into trooning out and passed away this year, though we're actually different remarkably different phenotypically). Like I have very noticeable boobs, possible hip growth/probably hip tilt (noticed the upper part of my pelvis is in a different spot than it used to be and it's actually kinda uncomfy), and have somehow (briefly) malefailed despite being a gigashoulder/ribhon (17" biacromial kill me kill me kill me).
>>42179808jesus my condolences, was it HRT-related, or did they figure out what it was?and yeah in that case that sounds like a good reason to push for them to give you proper healthcarealso gratz on the hiptiddymalefail, as a chaser I'm all for more passing girls for obvious selfish reasons
>>42179634I've gone a little insane (maybe a lot). People stare at me when I go outside and I wave back at them or smile awkwardly. I'm somewhat of an embarrassment to my family but they are generally accepting of me so long as I dont hon it up too much or date guys. I have no friends or social life so I just go grocery shopping, hiking, look after my pets, etc. My life is mostly uneventful unless a transhobe sees me but I ignore them as best I can. I would like to start a family with someone but no one is interested in me because I dont have anything to offer.I used to not be so jaded early on in my transition because I had hope that I'd eventually pass but no matter what I do over the years it is not enough. Sorry. My advice is to surround yourself with ppl that are a positive influence on you and encourage you to transition and leave manmode/boymode etc. Get out of your comfort zone too, but not at the detriment of your mental health. Idk what else to say without doxxing myself so left some stuff out ...not that anyone cares.
>>42179863Official diagnosis was Myalgic Encephalitis. She started having severe issues about a year into HRT. Personally I'm sure she had something else as well. Maybe multiple sclerosis. Maybe NCAH. She was bedridden for 3 years before dying. And still no idea how I malefailed. I'm a very, very obvious hon and frankly terminally malebrained (it's a pendulum sometimes I'm super fembrained and I love it).
