i hope i find the strength to kill myself this year
Hope you find a way to stop those thoughts
it's not hard to do so. at all, actually if i'm brutally honestwill it be worth it in the end? how much can you improve? are you sure you're destined to be unhappy forever?
>>42188887how do you honestly?
>>42188887>>42188907the thoughts never go away but prozac helps lessen them a bit :3
>>42188887i hope i get more of them so i can hurry up and get it over with already >>42188903i feel it is much harder than it should be to kill yourself considering how fragile the body is and yes i am destined to be unhappy forever lol
>>42188805me too
>>42188887The thoughts are just the natural consequences of material conditions so only by the material conditions changing could they stop. Therapy ideology is pseudoscience
>>42188805Lol! Stop. >>42188907Hug your mom. Hug your dog. Kiss your kitty. If you dont have those, get one. Make money.
>>42189881>just produce value for the same people who made your life hell and get a tiny fraction of it back as money bro, that will make you feel better
>>42189873as a terminally depressed suicidal anon who makes 120k USD/year, i can confirm this is not true
>>42189899I didn't mean money by material you retard, loneliness and a mutilated body are also material conditions
>>42189950calling loneliness a material condition is quite the stretch anon
>>42188805don't do it angel
>>42190086i love you mwahnon but it is too late for me unfortunately
>>42190176it's notI'm 30it's never too late and remember that many trans women start later in lifeI don't want to compare you to a literal mattress actress but Natalie Mars started at 31 and she is super prettyjust think of all the cool tabletop wargames you can play with people
this year im anamaxxing until im hopefully dead and if not then im thin ig
>>42189899its not that money makes you happy but the inability to make money definitely makes you wanna die. having money at least you can say you are on the right track, you arent wasting your time, you arent years behind people your age. i could put 10 years of hard effort in, ill never be close to 120k a year because im a retard and those salaries dont even exist in my country pretty much
>>42190216when did you start living as a woman
>>42190301I came out when I was almost 28 and boymoded for a year or so, only started actually fully presenting as a woman in public this year and honfidencing it
>>42190335i see thank you
>>42190372thank you for being an angel
>>42190216lmao this bynn is more head than body :3
>>42190050Is it not material? The feeling isn't sure, but you materially don't have a connection with anyone, maybe "reality" would be a better word to avoid the association with wealth I guess
>>42190744big head means smart :3c
>>42188805I hope I find the strength to breed a tranner this year
>>42188805same
>>42188805You and me both, OP. I looked down from the high place I went to try (and fail) to see fireworks tonight. The drop would be enough, but climbing over would test my nerve. I'm not sure what I'm holding on for. No matter how far out I optimistically project, the only routes that arent utterly hopeless are the ones that require me to be evil and hurt people who don't deserve it. Everything else is just suffering and slow death.I don't want 2026... maybe I'll do it tonight...
>>42188805If I don't find the strength to do it, then I'll kill myself
>>42188805I don't. I love you and would miss you if you were gone. Please don't die.
>>42192292If that's true, say that to their fucking face instead of anonymously you coward
>>42192473I love you and would miss you if you were gone. Please don't die.
>>42192493I hope you words are meaningful to OP. The person who can save me doesnt exist in this reality.
>>42192526Yes He does.
>>42192558Fuck Jesus and fuck God they cursed me with a life so severely brutal that 5 different therapists have given up on me because they couldnt handle my story. Ill curse God til the day I fucking die and when I finally jump every one of my last seconds will be spent cursing his fucking name. Fuck him and fuck you for mentioning him in my fucking present you delusional piece of fucking shit.
>>42192592Aww sweety, you must be in so much pain. Jesus can take it from you if you let Him. And you can say all of that mean stuff if it makes you feel better, His mercy and His love for you is infinite. And He loves you as you are, not as the world thinks you're supposed to be. Remember he suffered TERRIBLY for you. He didn't just kill Himself, he had Himself brutally tortured to death by people who chose the side of evil, so that you don't have to pay for your own sins. He could have done anything, he could heal people He'd never met, He could bring back the dead, He could do literally anything he wants, and He chose to sacrifice Himself in the most horrific way possible so that people like you can ALWAYS be forgiven for everything they've done. He loves you more than you can even comprehend. And I love you as much as a mortal person can because He took my pain and my sin so that I can be loving to you, a complete stranger, who needs to be loved.
>>42192653I hope he comes back so I can fucking stomp the life out of him. Come back again and again so I can make him suffer for every pain enacted against me. Nailed to a cross? Thats fucking lightweight compared to the torture I was subjected to. He's a fucking pussy bitch. Come back so I can step on his throat and watch the life drain from his face. Fuck you so hard. Religious cultists tortured and raped me as a fucking child. Do you know what it's like to have your skin pierced with steel needles over and over again? To be bled out? To be starved for days or weeks? If God is real he is a blind idiot who deserves nothing but hate. Fuck you and everyone like you.Fuck. FUCK.
Fuck it Im jumping tonight. I cant live in the same world as fucking religious zealots who get away with tormenting the innocent because they believe in the same fucking magical sky fairy. Fuck this world, there is no hope for a miserable fucking wretch like me.
>>42192746Don’t do it, hug someone Nona
>>42192770There's fucking no one.
>>42192719I'm so sorry that happened to you. There's a special place in hell for people who hurt children. >6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.But you have to let your pain go or it won't heal. That doesn't mean pretend it never happened, it means recognize that it's over and it's not going to happen again. The very next verse in Matthew 18 Jesus talks about how much he loves his wayward sheep and the lengths he'll go to get you back. He wants you back. Put down your hate. It's not hurting me, and it's certainly not hurting Him. It's hurting you, and you don't deserve that for what someone else did to you. Those people who hurt you, they were not the disciples of Christ. They were false believers. They worship God with their lips, but their hearts do not know God. Jesus really harps on that point btw. Those were bad men, they will not be allowed into heaven on the day of resurrection.
>>42192848The fact that I was allowed to suffer so is proof that God is malicious. Shove your religion up your ass you piece of shit.
>>42188805i can do that for you.
>>42190335Need mwahnon gf
>>42192865No it isn't. It's proof that man has the capacity for evil. That's why we need Jesus. That's why we have to be loving. So that our actions don't cause others to suffer as we have suffered due to the actions of others. And there are three loves that are the most important according to Jesus. The first is the love of God which is the love of his creation and the love of our chance to experience it. The second is the love of our fellow human beings, which makes us compassionate and kind to others. The third is the love of self, this is what makes us righteous allowing us to accept Christ's love, to live not as the world makes us, but a God made us, loving people. And I think you're struggling the most with the third one. Self-love. You haven't practiced it, it hasn't been taught to you. You've instead adopted this sycle of self-hate and you perceive that God and the world also hate you, and you make yourself hateful to fufill that self-imposed prophesy. But you're wrong sweetheart. Between you, me and Jesus on the topic of whether you should be loved or hated, you're out-voted. Be me and Jesus love the absolute shit out of you. Scars and all.
I hope the rest of you have a good life...>>42192920See you in hell you piece of shit.
>>42192934No. You won't.
>>42188805i hope you don’t and are more open with me sorry if im too much i like when you told me to not be a victim and live life as i want it and be who i am n such idk if you are her i would tell you to your face i love you and care about u even though you keep yrself mysterious to me but if not her i still love you and care i wish for the strength to kill myself often but the realest truth i overlook in those moments is there is beauty and love in the world and one of the most beautiful things is being honest with ourselves about this and allowing interactions and love and such im sorry life is so hard and scary too but there is often much over looked comfort in any given moment even that is just the warmth of blanket or the blue of the sky tomorrows ocean what have you good luck i really hope the future is kind to you
Anons, if these posts remind you of someone you know, dont waste your time here. Go text them. That will mean so much more.
>>42193094i agree and i think she knows i care idk i have already messaged her n stuff and dont want to over do it she is also allusive and dont want push her out ive been in that spot before pushed out kinda idk she is also sort of an anomaly and all so like it’s an complicated game that’s as hard as i make it but just putting it here too i care
