For me it was just sheer guilt and fear and knowing I was some kind of freak and not being able to tell anyone about my issues because my only exposure to trannies was fucking terrifying + no knowledge of HRT until it was too late. t. lateshit HRTrepper here who is unfortunately spending his New Year's frustrated about not being a youngshit.
I had NO idea HRT is a thing or how transition works, and then was too autistic to figure out if I'm actually trans
>>42194815I lived in poverty and didn’t even realize i was a tranny until i was 18 because i was worrying about being in poverty
>>42194815i developed agp first before it turned into dysphoria in my 20s so trooning wasn't really necessary
I was meek and if I received any pushback during any coming out attempt i would internalize that and desist entirely
>>42194815>Didn't actually know what trans was until I was 15>To scared to tell anyone I was trans until I was 17>Try to come out to the one family member who I thought may have been supportive>They totally reject me and my relationship with them is permanently ruined>Spend the next decade repping, self harming and attempting suicideI mean, had I known what being trans was when I was like 10, I would have known I was trans that early. But I still would have been in a shitty, isolated situation with zero support. So there was never really any hope of me being a youngshit.I just wish that made me feel any better.
>>42194826I didn't really have AGP, just saw myself as the woman when discovering porn and I cried and prayed to not be gay, and when trying to figure out what it meant to be a boy who wants to be a girl I just stumbled across tranny porn and Susan's Place and both understandably terrified me into not talking about any of it.
I got AGP at 13. Boxed it away. Got on hrt at 18. My parents are crazy religious.
>>42194852>just saw myself as the woman when discovering porn isn't that what agp is?
>>42194861It wasn't a conscious thing or something I actively chose to engage with. Like I was going in as a guy, noticed it, and then broke down and prayed.
>>42194815My therapist asked me if I wanted to start HRT when I was 13 but I was scared to do it so I rejected them Then I was still self aware of being a femboy until like 18 and I hated myself for it because I thought I wasn't masculine enough and I would get super embarrassed and uncomfortable whenever my mom brought up that I used to be trans 90% of this shit is because I didn't know about plucking the facial hair and I hated how my face looked shaved cause of the grayish five o clock shadow mustache thing so I just assumed I could never pass Then after a bunch of fucked up events in my life that led to me using this website again a few years ago I eventually saw passgen and was like omg I wanna try :D and then bless whoever is the person who mentioned plucking facial hair in one of those threads, that shit changed my life I found out using concealer or tinted moisturizer covers it up even better so I do that on top of plucking the facial hair I'm 23 now though so my facial structure is kind of fucked for passing because I didnt start hrt when i could have but I still pass as a femboy and have gotten compliments when I went out with goth boy type makeup My hair's still "short" though and when I tried a wig it was so bad Idk how the fuck I can pass as a femboy but not a woman My stats are fucked I don't know how I ended up in this place I ordered estrogen but idk if thats gonna work for my face and i cant afford nor do i wanna try ffs Seeing passing trannies makes me so jealous that I want to die. I dont think i would anyways naturally think to try to alter my appearance to the point of trying to fully look like a woman if I didnt know they exist So basically being born male, being a coward at age 13, and seeing passgen on here ruined my life
>>42194959You saw a therapist for it at 13?
>>42194979I was in therapy for other shit and already was trans at 12 before that
>>42194994That's...howI'm sorry that you didn't get to be a youngshit but this is like, the dream for many other lateshits.
>>42194959>Start expressing distress at being gendered male when I was 6>Start having public break downs over gender when I was 8>First expressed suicidal ideation over gender when I was 13>Nobody ever took me to a therapist>Nobody ever offered me HRT>Nobody even bothered to inform me what being trans was>Just got told to stop being such a faggot and 'man up'I'm jealous of you anon.
>>42195024i'm so faketrans
>>42195048OP here, you're not faketrans, just anxious I might have done the same thing. I was too anxious to even come out to my mom as depressed until I was almost an adult, let alone trans. Expecting your teenage self to make the best decisions is rough, especially depending on the rest of your environment. I grew up in a religious private school so the idea on its own would have been utterly terrifying.
>>42194998I have no idea why... I was just really scared for some reason so I said no. And yeah maybe the estrogen will work and this is my last chance to try. Going through this board fucks with me but what can I do, I cant not be a tranny. I wish I was born as my ideal appearance, a cute east asian girl, and not cursed with half black hair texture. I dont fit in anywhere. Not with whites, not with blacks, I get bullied for being a weeb and interested in Asian things even though I know about actually useful asian stuff too like traditional diet and medicine, my life and family situation is too fucked up and abnormal for me to relate to "normalfags", I cant interact with people on this site because I always attract fuckheads who bully me when I open up, it's hell >>42195024If it makes you better i was in therapy cause my abusive dad almost killed me and my mom and we had to move to a domestic violence shelter, it wasnt really cause "my baby is having issues and needs someone to talk about their feelings uwu" I also basically told myself to "stop being a faggot and man up" from like age 15-18 or so too I think
>>42195024>>42195077if it makes you feel* better
>>42194842This is how I am but with my personality cause EVERY TIME i try to socialize via this website and get bullied (even tho everyone knows people on this site act like fuckheads more than anywhere else online) I clam up Idek how it happens but it legit does every time, like there's always some small detail in something I write that someone makes some remark about that turns into an argument and trading insults Then I close up, then i feel like I'm being suffocated, then I go on here and the same thing repeats
>>421948158 years of sex corrective therapy (it’s just conversion therapy) and then heavy substance abuse and self harm so yeah life’s a mess lol
>>42195548Jesus Christ
>>42194815I didn't want to be a woman. I wanted to be a man. Then my body failed to masculinize properly at puberty, and I couldn't fit in as a man, so I decided to try transitioning in my early twenties.
>>42194815Considered DIY at 15 and tried to look into resources for it, but I fell for the blood clot meme. My grandma was disabled because of one and it was a fear of mine, and I was 250lbs at ~5'3 at the time. So it became "I'll start HRT once I'm thin", then I couldn't bc I was living at home, etc etc, more and more excuses, until I realized I was 22 and beautiful long hair that I'd been growing since 16 was starting to recede. The most bittersweet part is that for a year of HRT, my results have been more than I'd ever expected in a decade. So given this predisposition for responding, it makes me think I'd have been an insane gigapassoid youngshit. Or maybe it's all cope
>>42194815Knew at 7. Youngshits weren't a thing. In fact, I didn't even hear the word "trans" until 19. But even then it was still not an option in my country.Then the thoughts stopped at ~22. Genuinely thought I "grew out of it" as the studies said (that most gnc kids grow out of it).But then the thoughts came back with a vengeance at 30. Repped harder because I already had a family. Each year got worse. Then far worse.Now 39, starting this Monday.I could not have been a youngshit no matter what. Born too early. But I could've started 8-9 years ago. Oh welp. I'm done complaining but I'm also done repping. I have to at least try.
