>>42204215
Cis autistic women are many things, including that. Honestly I've met autistic dyke neets and they're scarily close to trans women.

>>42204234
but is it most common for them to be clingy and obsessive? I need to know if my autism is fembrained

>>42204215
>I wish I was obsessive instead of avoidant so badly
so real
i actually do get very obsessive and clingy over people i like but i always just think they hate me and i have to distance myself from them
i wish i was the type of person who could express stuff better i guess

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>>42204215
clinging/being obsessive are bpd traits, not autism. autistic girls are actually more likely to be avoidant since socialization is incredibly hard for them.

>does this mean im malebrained for being extremely avoidant as an autistic transwoman?
not necessarily.

being "malebrained" is pretty hard to define since it seems like everyone has a different idea of what it actually is. i define it as indulging in activities/interests that promote testosterone (intensive weightlifting, car mechanisms (sometimes), etc. this is kinda hard to define as some people get testosterone from different things) and taking generally masculine roles in situations (basically anything that requires big muscles). based on ur typing style (trust me theres a difference) u seem pretty fembrained, so as long as u do any of that, u are totally fine.

>I wish I was obsessive instead of avoidant so badly
trust me on this, as someone in the process of getting diagnosed with bpd, OBSESSION IS THE WORST THING EVER. unless the other person is just as obsessed with u (very unlikely) they are going to feel overwhelmed very easily and probably worry about u more than they really should. interacting with others is important, but if u have to ask them questions like "do you hate me?" every so often its not good in the slightest. dont do this to urself anon.

>>42204951
>interacting with others is important, but if u have to ask them questions like "do you hate me?
not op but genuinely what do i do when i feel like this? it feels like my only options are either to be clingy in that way and risk annoying them or making them uncomfortable or distance myself from them. i find it really hard to just interact normally because im so paranoid that they hate me and are annoyed by me so i need constant reassurance from them and even then i get really anxious about it

>>42204951
not saying youre lying but i literally cannot imagine anything worse than being avoidant. it makes me so miserable i want to kill myself so bad

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>>42205069
communicate with them. explain to them that u feel this way sometimes and that they may need to reassure u. if they arent willing to care for u like this sometimes they are not actually ur friend, as a real friend would go out of their way to make sure u are okay.

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>>42205089
(sorry i didnt reply, i was in the middle of writing >>42205069 and got preoccupied with something, and sent it before refreshing posts)

i guess avoidance is the opposite side of obsessiveness' coin. they both would have similar issues as a result of them and would be absolute hell to deal with. my point is that obsessiveness isnt going to make things better, only make things bad in a different way. sure, u will be talking to people but dragging that to a degree where *they* become the avoidant one. ive lost so many people to my obsessive nature and i cant imagine it being the solution to anything.

>>42205127
its ok neruposter dont apologize

i guess maybe its just that the grass is greener on the other side. i do wonder if my personal situation would be more compatible with obsessive than avoidant but im sure theres downsides im overlooking. it just sucks all around

>>42205109
yeah ur right but the idea of explaining it feels so scary and like im imposing on them a lot and embarrassing myself

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>>42205166
if the issue is u want to talk with them more/they want to talk with u more i guess trying to be more obsessive would work? but there is still the risk of taking it too far and ending on the exact opposite end of the coin i mentioned. u could try setting urself personal goals of sorts (cringe i know) to talk to them a few times a day. ask them how their day is going, talking to them about ur interests, etc. i know this is way easier said than done but i can't fix ur situation entirely, u have gotta step on the stones ive placed for u and hope u dont trip up. good luck anon

>>42205204
make sure they are ready for such a conversation. ask them something like "hey, theres something i wanna talk about thats pretty serious and i need u to take it without judging me. are u cool to do this now/whatever time?", dont use my exact words but that should give u a decent base to work with.

assuming they agree and ARENT an asshole about it, u should have a better chance of being able to ask those sorts of questions without them taking too much issue with it. if they can understand that u dont always feel super paranoid, they can understand that u just need some reassurance from them and that they (hopefully) have a way to provide it.