[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender

Name
Options
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


[Advertise on 4chan]


File: IMG_6837.jpg (74 KB, 1200x800)
74 KB
74 KB JPG
Confess your heart here. Have peace
>>
File: drunk peter.jpg (11 KB, 320x240)
11 KB
11 KB JPG
I feel like I'm going to die alone because I'm so heavily introverted. I work, I come home, I cook, I play video games, I do some chores, I go to bed. All I care about is having enough food for rent, food, electricity, and video games. I am in my 30s.
>>
i was seriously planning suicide just a few days ago but i started having second thoughts even if know it's unlikely anything will ever change, at one point when i'd still been planning i talked with someone i've known for years and explained my entire situation to them and they told me i had a "compelling argument" as to why i believe things are hopeless and my only means of taking control is killing myself

while i've given it up for now, i know i'll most likely be in the position of actively planning out my own death when things get too difficult again down the line, and now instead of doing anything of value today i've spent my whole day trying to ragebait on 4chan because i'm bored and retarded
>>
>>42238484
I like humiliating people for not having a penis.
I also like being humiliated for not having one :(
>>
>>42238484
I have nightmares about staying cis and starting a family. The idea of becoming some middle aged housewife with two kids and a husband who utterly hates me makes me wanna kill myself, but it’s what everyone apparently wants of women now. I want to transition but i’m scared that being a woman would be easier.
>>
>>42238582
>now
>>
>>42238595
Now. We got like 2 years of “women can be human beings too!” And now all people wanna see is 1 billion Nara Smiths
>>
File: 5wsdzw2b9t9g1.jpg (1.59 MB, 2893x4063)
1.59 MB
1.59 MB JPG
Im head over heels in love with my best friend, who is entirely unavailable. It's not the desperate kind of love where you tear your own soul out wanting to "be with" them or fuck them or something. It's a very pure, passionate kind of affection. I need her in my life, no matter the form. I need her to be safe and happy. I need to see her smile. I need to hear her sing. Her mere presence fills me with joy and Im so happy I get to spend so much time with her.
My biggest sinful wish is that I could feel her kiss just once. But I know I would crave more.
Kinda pathetic, yea? That's the story up until a week or two ago. Ive found myself suddenly filled with fantasies of having a family with her. She is, in a way, already part of my family. But I dream of wanting to pull her into the heart of my family.
But I remind myself, it isnt meant to be.
The yearning isnt painful. It's distracting, sure, but not painful. So I hold it in my heart, and let those silly little dreams reinforce my adoration for the most wonderful person Ive ever met.
She wonders why I am so infatuated, I think. Maybe it's because she's beautiful, she posits. She is, but Ive known beautiful people. Maybe she's manipulated me somehow - but Ive grown up amongst manipulators and am both sensitive to and repulsed by them. She feels unworthy of my trust. I wish I could get her to internalize that... it's really just because she's the kind of person I adore. Endlessly gracious, patient, kind, and caring while still being steadfast on boundaries and emotionally mature (even if sometimes turbulent). Nerdy, smart, silly, with a soul brimming and overflowing with passion.
She has her flaws, as all people do. They are things that maybe some folks would turn away from. But I am myself a fairly fucked up person and am able to look past actions to the root of pain. Ive seen her misery and wish I could hold her together until all those cracks and broken parts snap together and she feels whole again.
(1/2)
>>
>>42238804
(2/2)
I... feel I was born in the wrong timeline.
It doesnt hurt, but it is... a lot. And I feel wrong for having these yearnings. A little pathetic. But it keeps me alive in a world that shows coldness.
Yea... she's heard a lot of this but the last part I wouldnt tell her (as it would cross manipulation) is that I simply wouldnt be alive without her warmth. I would have ended my life last year without her steadfast support. And further, Im terrified that if I somehow pushed her away, lost her support, Id find myself staring into the abyss again.
Im so scared of losing her. Thats the part that hurts. Not that I cant have her in my life the way I want her to be, but the idea that one day we may drift.
Hopefully I can become a more whole person by then.
>>
I'm still not over an ex from 6 years ago. I've tried dating other people, I've tried therapy, I've tried alcohol and drugs, I've tried just giving it time, but nothing seems to work. Even if I haven't thought about her for a while there is always something that ends up reminding me of her.
On top of that the rest of my life is kind of shit.
I'm going to get ADHD meds and hope they shut up my brain. If not then it's time to end things finally.
>>
File: 1765992184211734.png (211 KB, 501x501)
211 KB
211 KB PNG
>>42238484
Am kinda back where I started 2 1/2 years ago. Am alone again, and this happens to me every 9 months or so. Where I find a group of friends, something happens, I have to leave. My parents don't really care about me anymore, My best friend ignores it, I went through two therapists since I came back home. I tried killing myself 4 times this year, I get stopped, by my own incompetency.
>>
>>42239032
Just hate them with all your heart. Pray that you get so mad, that you forget about it. It happened to me already.
>>
>>42238484
i was never taught to be a good person. i was never taught to be a *person* at all really. all i knew was that people didnt like me for some reason, until eventually i found someone who fit the same mold i did, with almost exactly the same issues growing up. they taught me everything i had been lacking up until that point.
but theres that same part of me, the part of me that never learned, that ruined them. if killing myself means getting rid of it, i would have done it by now. but killing myself also means killing the part of me that *did* learn to be human. the part of me that feels emotion, that understands people. that wants to be loved. i'd rather not kill that part of me, because that part has done some good. some actual fucking good. i've helped people, made peoples lives better by just existing, yet it still needs to wage war against the part of me that hates.

today i went on a date with something who knew nothing about me, knew no one who knew me, and generally had no connection to me at all. we connected a lot, and obviously want the same things. but im scared one day they are gonna see the part of me that i want gone. they dont deserve to be hurt. they dont deserve to be treated poorly. they deserve love. but i know the part of me that hates is a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in both our faces.

maybe they will kill that part of me entirely. maybe they will save me. i hope its a step in the right direction at least
>>
I don’t know what to want. How can I set goals when I don’t know what to desire? I like being alive, I like living, that’s not the issue.
>>
>>42239236
I can't is the problem. Really I'm the one that fucked everything up and even the bad things that happened in the end I can't really blame her for, all things considered. What you're saying worked for other people but I just can't get myself to hate her.
>>
>>42239480
I did the same thing with my first couple. Don't blame yourself, if they really loved you they would have stayed the course.
>>
File: IMG_0912.jpg (80 KB, 720x1280)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
I've burned 90% of my bridges
I spend half the day just fuming and crying
The despair is piercing and alienates me from others, I'm sluggish myself and draining to others
I'm inferior in every way
Therapy is not an option
I don't think like other people
I'm completely beyond the pale
There is nobody who relates to me
No one
I really just wish I could build up the courage to die

>I'll listen to you anon
You won't. Trust me. And ive known enough people here to be too scared anyway. I will probably be unhappy in any world.
>>
File: 1762910055347568.png (3.92 MB, 2048x1536)
3.92 MB
3.92 MB PNG
How many people here are BPD, or Bipolar on a down cycle?
>>
close friend of mine said some stuff that got to me and then backed up, saying it was meaner than she intended. i feel as if i was sucker punched. im going to let it go eventually but i am questioning why im struggling to be friends with people. all of this is very hollow, right? we've decided to stop doing honesty, collectively.
>>
File: 1671571053247180.jpg (41 KB, 680x428)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
i'm scared i'll never get over my best friend

i loved him. we were inseparable for years, we did everything together and i thought we had something but he fell in love with a cis girl instead. i came out to him as trans and confessed my feelings during a breakdown. he said he supported my transition and that he hoped we could stay friends but that we should take a break and wait things out.
i'm here with my heart torn out while he has a new girlfriend and it's horrible.
i've never felt this way about someone before and i'm scared nobody who comes later will ever compare to him
i'm scared that years down the line i'll still only ever want him and dating anybody else would feel like settling for less
i'm scared we can never talk as friends again because i won't be able get over him or see him with another girl without crying again
i miss him
>>
>>42239631
I honestly have no idea anymore whether I want her to have loved me for real or not
>>42239650
Autism and cptsd so close enough
>>
>>42239650
My guess is most of us since I am and I extrapolate everything from my experiences
>>
>>42239702
you're not going to like this answer but you should let him go. don't view all this as a personal failure. life goes like this sometimes. i went through this and the cure for me was to dive into my other friends and hobbies for a few months. me and my guy are still friends but its different now. he's commented on it and i agreed. anon, you have to let it be different or kill the friendship.
>>
>>42239649
I feel that--not enough to end it since I'm a coward, but definitely enough to lash out and force my way into being accepted. It rarely works, but it is better than accepting others' ostracization. Fuck thinking like a normie. Live based on vengeful spite if you have to. Burn even more bridges if you have to as well
>>
>>42239724
>the cure for me was to dive into my other friends and hobbies for a few months
same for me it's been super helpful to stay distracted
>me and my guy are still friends but its different now. he's commented on it and i agreed
i think about this outcome a lot. i'm trying to let him go but it's really fucking hard to
we were way closer than any regular guy friends normally would be, it's hard moving on from the countless memories
>you have to let it be different or kill the friendship.
i'm trying to let it be. plan A was to kill the friendship but i'm reeling so terribly from trying to cut him out of my life
we started texting again not long ago but it's very clear we're distant and uncomfortable right now
i stopped texting him and decided to give myself more time away. he hasn't said anything but i'm ok with that. i know if we communicate i'll be hurt all over again.

i'm just trying to give us space and clear my head. he said a lot of things over the years that implied he wished i was a girl or should get a sex change. it made me delude myself but in the end it was just his dumb sense of humor. moving on from feeling like he wanted me is so difficult
>>
>>42238484
I raped my girlfriend over year ago, I did it intentionally, I wanted her to wake up to it, I convinced her it was her fault and that she acted like she wanted it. We broke up shortly after that though and apparently she still has nightmares about it. I'm glad she does, it was some of the best sex I ever had.
>>
>>42239740
you really, really do need that space. you had a portion of your life carved out to fit him in. shit's like a sucking chest wound now, i hear you. it got better for me and i'm sure it'll get better for you :)
>>
>>42239760
thanks nona i'll do my best
i'm still scared i'll never be able to fully move on but i have my friends and my family too
on the bright side i don't have to stay in the closet anymore and i've been making this my year to finally be me
ffs is coming up this summer and i have a lot of support at work
i just wish he could've known the real me
but i'll do my best i promise
>>
>>42239255
I have a similar case. Hopefully that person helps, but seeing them as a 'savior' may not be beneficial. I did that and I ended up putting them on a pedestal and then bad things happened. I just self isolate now to avoid hurting anybody but it's not fun. You're capable of growth since you said you learnt how to be human, keep doing that I guess and try to see them as an equal in the meantime
>>
File: 1767573032993041.jpg (42 KB, 479x480)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
My ethnicity and sexuality makes me way more suicidal than gender dysphoria but I can tell if it ever happens I'll just be the tranny suicide to everyone I know
>>
>>42239753
Hot.
I still try to convince my bf to do that to me :(
>>
i'm losing the strength to do anything. i have no hobbies. i rarely see any of my friends in person. there aren't any activities i enjoy anymore. i have no life skills and not enough discipline to learn any. i can't get a job, and most of the time i don't even have enough motivation to apply. i wonder why i still have a will to live. life sucks and i fear i'll die unfulfilled
>>
>>42239753
Hot, I would rape if I had a dick, you're lucky anon.
>>
>>42239753
>>42240133
>>42240328
please kill yourself
>>
>>42240350
Rape is hot, you silly puritain.
And it is unfair that I was born without the sacred tool of rape. Now I have to live all my days impotent, and vulnerable to the very rape I wish to inflict.
>>
>>42239753
I hope you're just roleplaying anon. I'm not the best person in the world but that's a serious evil which shouldn't be comedic or eroticized. One day you'll regret all the lies you have to tell to hide your actions and the distance it puts between you and others.
>>
i have parasocial crushes on all my favorite female artists
>>
>>42238484
さよなら もう行かなきゃ 何もかも忘れて
>>
>>42238484
I don't know how to break up with my gf but I know I need cock
>>
I miss my brother. A lot. We didn't get along well back in the day but I needed him so badly. He was basically everything to me as everyone else hated me or thought me weird and dangerous. One time, when we were both drunk, I tried to give him a blow job because it felt like he was leaving me for another girl. He beat me. He's now married to her.

Our relationship now is normal, but he lives far enough away that seeing him is challenging. I just wanna be held by him and fall asleep again like we used to.
>>
>>42238484
I love my boyfriend
>>
>>42238484
I cannot express how much i hate ftm

If i could, i would press a button and kill every single one of them
>>
I am a man with a neovagina instead of a penis
>>
>>42241621
I don't believe it's possible. Thinking doesn't make it real
>>
>>42238484
It turns out that my brother is what's dragging me back, not my disability. I found out when he left for a month to go to Arizona and I was left to live alone, I had a routine, I was doing really well, the house was clean, I felt free and had fun and genuinely laughed at things and still had time to take care of the house and myself, I showered almost every day, I brushed my teeth every day, I took my pills and vitamins without forgetting. I studied Japanese every day too

He came back, did heroin, constantly talked about drugs (like usual), disrespected my routine and the time spent studying Japanese was then spent trying to wake up earlier than him so I could study before eventually giving up, the rest of the day doing nothing besides drinking and watching videos on YouTube, and the house rapidly got filthier and filthier and now there's a constant "sweaty man" smell that turned out to be a rotting trash bag from missing trash day.

I did half the trash this week, reminding him before, while, after, and right before bed to take out the recycling. It's still there. I have an appointment in an hour that I doubt I'll make it to.
>>
File: IMG_7550.jpg (205 KB, 1303x1046)
205 KB
205 KB JPG
>>42238484
I’m thinking about giving up on ever having friends/gf irl, and moving from a megacity to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere across the country. Sick of paying five figures in taxes out the ass every year for breeders’ schools and welfare for people that would happily kill me.
>>
>>42242415
I supported my druggie brother for over a decade and after all of it I realized I should have left him to die as soon as I moved out of my parents’ house. The thing about druggies is that the brain damage is so severe and permanent that after a while they aren’t even your brother. And if you feel some kind of obligation, know and accept in your heart that whatever you’re doing for them, they wouldn’t do a tenth of a fraction of a percent of it if the tables were turned. It’s just a black hole that sucks up your money and spirit until you cut them loose.
Fuck druggies.
>>
>>42238484
my gf left me and its my fault for being a bipolar narcissist, the narcissistic thing to do would be to kill myself so i won't do that now
i love her and i hope she comes back but she probably wont ill probably die alone aged 31 in a shootout with cops and with my dying breath ill scream out i will always love you [her name]

i also got blocked by an online friend just a week ago aswell as i was talking about my gf leaving me, maybe she was tired of my bitching or maybe she was interested in me and it hurt her and idk i dont know anything i wish i never met anyone i wish i lived in a cave
>>
bump i want to hear more
>>
I hope your life turned out fine. Mine didn't, but you know. Way she goes.
>>
please i beg i need to read more
>>
I bet my 'internet boyfriend' is collating shit on me so he can post it on kiwifarms or whatever and try to humiliate me. I bet he fakes his orgasms or at least is thinking about someone other than me. He's just pretending to date the local retard for laughs. Trying to get me to say I love you and shit because that'd be even funnier. Because I'm just that pathetic I'd fall for someone who secretly hates me. Because I'm stupid enough to think I deserve someone who cares about me. I'm going to schiz out.
>>
>>42246499
im sorry for you
>>
I'm mtf and lowkey a shotacon. I feel a bit disgusted towards myself but most of the time I really don't feel bad for liking it. Still I feel I should be
>>
>>42246565
That's kinda hot ngl
>>
>>42246519
I'm using all my power to stop myself from flipping out and interrogating him. I have self-control. So don't feel sorry.
>>
I genuinely don't feel bad for non-passoids. I just don't give a shit. I actually find it hot when bf mocks twinkhons or hons in general.
If I could, I would forcibly detroon hons so that us stealth girls no longer even have to think about this shit.
>>
I'm into dogs, and have a hard time connecting sexually to other people. I just default to asexual most of the time but secretly in my mind I'm horny as hell, just not for my own species.
>>
I will always love you
>>
i still have feelings for you, even after all these years.
>>
>>42247579
Gross + Cringe + Move on
>>
>>42247585
shut up, stupid
>>
>>42247607
But am I wrong though?
>>
>>42247610
rest-assured.
i'm going to make him mine even if i have to tie him up.
>>
I would ditch my trans gf for a cis woman in a heartbeat.

She's a super autistic hon obsessed with anime and vidya that ticks off almost every annoying transbian stereotype imaginable. I'm not attracted to her at all, but she's a warm body. I've been so lonely for so long. Anything is better than nothing.

My ego keeps saying I should be able to do better, but obviously I can't. I would crawl through a mile of broken glass if there was a cis gf waiting for me on the other side, but a lowly tranny like me is nothing to them. Less than dirt.

I need to swallow my pride and accept the love I can get instead of yearning for what I can't. No matter how much I chew on it though, it just won't go down.
>>
>>42247727
Wow, you're viscerally disgusting.
Go back to being alone, it's more than you deserve.
>>
>>42238484
If I could get away with it for certain I’d 100% start serial killing mormons
>>42238498
Same. I’m 32 and about to accept it and move out to the middle of nowhere.
>>
>>42238582
The best part is that since the economy was hollowed out, you now get to be a house slave sow while still working a full time job on top, like you don’t even get the consolation prize of not having to wage. No wonder nobody’s having kids.
>>
>>42239032
I carry torches for people for 5-10 years, and then it vanishes for no reason. It’ll go away.
>>
>>42239650
Bipolar but I’m always on a down cycle
>>
>>42240119
Real, I feel this very much.
>>
>>42241604
I really can’t express how mutual the feeling is
>>
>>42238582
>being a woman would be easier
It would be. Claiming otherwise is brainworms or psyop.
>>
>>42246565
I feel twinges of autoshota sometimes but I just shove that shit down
>>
>>42247840
Hugs
>>
>>42246565
this but highkey + mostly gals + i feel like killing myself over it 24/7 even though i know i haven't done anything. i have a partner who's accidentally become like a beard and i just cannot fuck them at all rn
>>
>>42238484
I am a man and the only way I can cry is when I think about my mom and I can only say I want my mommy because it feels strangely good. I hate it because I feel gay as fuck
>>
The last friend I had was seven years ago.

We worked together during college and had a bunch of classes together since we had similar majors. I was the only person who came to sit with her and talk her off the ledge when she repeatedly threatened to kill herself. I was the only person who chased after her when she would drunkenly run away. We sent each other memes and spent a lot of time together. On our last day working, we hugged and cried and shared a really nice moment.

One day, we visited my hometown together, just us two since our other friend flaked. When we got back to my dorm, we watched movies all night then fell asleep cuddling. That morning, it felt really nice and truly wasn't awkward at all. Then she left for work and texted me later that she didn't like me in that way, then I told her I didn't either and it was just platonic, then that was basically the end of our friendship. One of our mutuals later invited me over to tell me that my friend felt awkward about it, but I didn't understand why we couldn't just move past it or talk to each other directly. By graduation, all my other coworkers and mutual friends shunned me without a single word. I had become increasingly depressed so maybe that played a part.

I texted her a few times over the years. She finished law school, got a good job, got engaged, probably married by now. I told her I started transitioning and I thought she'd be supportive since she's bi, but she never responded. That was it. My last friend.
>>
File: 1766024025771772.jpg (12 KB, 360x360)
12 KB
12 KB JPG
>>42238484
I'm a misanthropist and have homicidal revenge fantasies against the people who abused me
>>
>>42240119
>>42247840
What ethnicity are you
>>
>>42246650
I fucking hate him so much. I want to tear him to pieces. He says all this bullshit to bring down my defenses, makes me fall in love with him, and then slowly disappears. I have to grovel and beg for him to exist in my life. He knew how crazy and broken I was in the first place. I don't hide this shit. It is so profoundly fucking unfair that he's done this to me. The way he's stringing me along. He clearly doesn't care about me anyway. Throwing around that he loves me but he can't be bothered to even talk to me. So fuck him.
Okay now I'm done posting for real.
>>
To the closeted transbian AGPhon couple in my life both of you are some of the ugliest creatures to walk this earth. Neither of you could ever even resemble a woman. I hate both of you.
>>
>>42248372
i want to give you a big hug
>>
File: death.png (1.64 MB, 836x1063)
1.64 MB
1.64 MB PNG
whenever i get to know someone i have an incredibly strong urge to trash the relationship by ghosting them or whatever and i don't know why but it means im 100% dying alone lol. even if i really love them i just cant bear to be around other people its so painful and i cant stop thinking about how much they must hate me. weird thing is sometimes it feels kind of good when i isolate myself from other people, not in a sadistic way but like kinda a self harming way i guess like this is what i deserve
>>
File: 1767593606552715.jpg (28 KB, 474x409)
28 KB
28 KB JPG
>>42250893
Do you have BPD? I tend to ghost people easily if they insult me or give minimal responses for like 3-6 months.
>>
>>42251103
i don't think i have bpd, it's not like i get mad at them or anything i just get really scared and feel like i don't deserve to be interacting with them
>>
about to go into another work year of doing the same thing again and it's hard to remain optimistic about my future when it is just this every year
>>
>>42250893
in picrel am i the only one who sees a dude wearing a robe and hood with his arms up
>>
>>42251209
I had to squint really hard to see the arms but yea I do now
>>
>>42251287
Actually what is going on with the left fist? What’s the original supposed to be there
>>
File: G92sRptWMAAJz6W.jpg (1000 KB, 1780x2048)
1000 KB
1000 KB JPG
>>42250893
>>42251121
I have BPD. This sounds exactly like me. If I'm not upset at them and cursing myself for falling for that shit again, it's me being afraid they hate me or don't want me around.
>>
>>42239032
me too anon
just the other day i saw a doujin i would've loved to link her if only we were still talking. we mostly talked abt manga and past trauma but also watched some anime & movies together
i wish i could tell her I'm sorry i pushed too hard on getting her to talk more, i feel like i had no idea what i was doing and just made things worse
i don't even know why i can't let go, it's not like i don't have anyone else in my life, but nothing feels quite as good or effortless as it did with her
lately I've been afraid that all we ever really had in common was sex anyway

i really hope her current partner is treating her okay
their relationship was really fraught

i hope we can both find someone anon
>>
File: 1767055316020969.jpg (53 KB, 713x730)
53 KB
53 KB JPG
I allowed my heart to be broken into pieces by a twink from /int/.
>>
I really want to humiliate and torment someone for not having a penis :(
Calling them impotent, powerless...
Laughing at them at their failures to penetrate me
Telling them they cannot assert themselves sexually, never to dominate, to take...
I'm a monster :(
>>
>>42242415
Get out of this situation. Don't let energy vampires rob you of your life.
>>
my ex and i were at one point both notable tripfags posting at the same time and nobody knows we ever dated
>>
>>42251974
I understand wanting to be further than where you are, but 1 year for a skill is honestly barely even the beginning
>>
>>42251988
zoomers are so insecure about ageing it's insane XD
Give up anon, if you didn't like drawing why would you like it now?
What do you even do to practice and learn? Ever done any gestures?
>>
>>42251988
It's to put things in perspective. You say you would give up everything in the fucking world but you're talking like you've given up after 10 months already. Strangling your kid self won't help you any, so best start putting in the hours if you're serious.
>>
>>42251988
>I'm going to be 21 this year, I'm already fucking disgustingly old
hahahaha
I learned to draw at 33, and its how I got a bf because someone at an anime convention recognized my art in my ita bag and realized it was me

keep at it little guy, it really helps to draw stuff you want to draw. don't do anything you don't like, don't turn art into a chore, only draw what your brain wants to and you'll enjoy it and learn better.
>>
>>42251866
I just got a song recommendation she gave me once years back. I wasn't even listening to remotely the same genre so idk why youtube decided to be funny. I genuinely dread things like this will just keep happening. With my other exes it all faded over time, even the more recent ones, but somehow with her it's always just that little bit different.
The details are starting to fade now so I'm not even sure what all things were we had in common, or even what all the little things are that make me love her.

I hope you can find someone, anon. I'm not sure I should try anymore.
>>
I hope she knows that I care about her and her health.

I hope she isn’t working too hard and isn’t being too harsh on herself.
>>
i've been meaning to go to confession for over a year now. its been 12yrs since my last (first) confession

around 2yrs ago i told my at-the-time gf of 3yrs that i wanted to either break up or go "poly". i cant imagine what that did to her, and by the time i cared to know, i knew it was time to end things and give her the space she deserved to heal, not ask about the damage i did.

her and i went to the same college in upstate NY. when i started dating an old high school acquaintance from texas, we only had a month or two before we went "long distance" - i rarely texted, and called the least i could while still keeping up appearances (while we did call, i would frequently scroll).
I later broke up with her on a phone call - not even a video call, I had lied that those didn't work on my phone so I could smoke weed, etc while we called without telling her. after I broke the news, I said I was getting really anxious (to smoke some weed to escape the guilt i had earned) and had to go. i hung up, and she called me back less than a minute later. she sounded exasperated and completely deflated. when I said I "couldn't call" and asked if it was urgent / why she'd called, she said through tears "I guess I'm just realizing I'm just some girl you dated". that shit really stuck with me, but I'll likely never know how she recovered from that.

i only really paid attention to whichever girl was in front of me. a couple months after I'd moved back to NY, i exaggerated an (admittedly not great) housing situation to someone I had met in passing at a party. they offered to let me spend the night, which i knew they would. we fucked, a few weeks later I called it love, and they were the only person I paid attention to for a long time.

i blamed all this and more on the fact that i was an addict and depressed; the truth is that these were symptoms of me being extremely selfish and self-centered. yet i dread making real amends more than death
>>
>>42251654
yeah honestly thinking about it i do get really upset at people sometimes, especially if im particularly attached to them although i dont ever do anything about it. and usually it swings back to just worrying they dont like me after a while. idk if thats bpd or not lol
>>
File: G9l5BIra0AE0RHr.jpg (212 KB, 1332x2048)
212 KB
212 KB JPG
>>42252845
Treatment doesn't work if you have it and aren't on the low IQ side of BPD. If you are the other end with the +120IQ, it doesn't do shit as your reactions are literally you seeing through people. Only thing that helps is chilling out as you get older. I've done the work and tried. You eventually learn to lie and hide for your own wellbeing and safety, only reentering therapy to "prove" to others you are tying to get better at an incurable mental disability. Manipulative, I know, but they are never willing to see it from your side of things, and any boundary we have is ignored or is "too much". So fuck it. Lie and cling.
>>
>>42238484
I am about to take hrt (estrogen), I don't even identify as a woman I feel about 50% man 50% woman. I have no intention on acting like a woman, or dressing like a woman. I am just really pretty, and would pass well, and I want to lock down my aesthetic.
>>
>>42252337
She absolutely is
>>
>>42238484
i went to a priest and he told me church wasn't for me
>>
>>42253448
Then she should stop and start taking care of herself grr
>>
>>42254205
She won't. She's spent her whole life taking care of herself with little help. She's tired.
Yes I'm self inserting because I know my own friends feel this way about me sometimes.
>>
>>42254229
I’m so sorry, nona. :(

I know it doesn’t mean much from a stranger, but I genuinely wish you well and I hope things get better.
>>
>>42254289
Thank you! Ill be fine in the long run, Im just in a tough spot right now. This year is going to suck like an absolute motherfucker, but then hopefully things will be better. Im lucky to have the support of my dearest friend - who is probably thinking "take care of yourself" type thoughts as we speak. I'm sure trying. ^^'
>>
>>42252103
there’s this specific anime ending I associate with this guy from tinder because every time I went to his apartment we watched a few episodes.

so now every time the song comes up on shuffle it’s like a shotgun blast to my chest, I’m immediately reminded of when we used to kiss and cuddle and makes me wanna kms
>>
>>42238484
i neeeeeeeeed my bf to use me and another tranny at the same time he absolutely has enough stamina and the will to do it and it would be soooo hot to both get fucked together and give into our embarrasing need to be humiliated and used by men. it also relates to my guilt of being a tranny like im sorry that you're in a relationship with a male that pales in comparison to a real woman but at least you can have a little tranny harem :(
>>
i dont particularly mind my leg hair. the rest of the hair on my body i despise. but my like thigh hair, i think its a little bit hot. and i dont shave it unlike everything else
>>
>>42240119
Yeah, I'm probably gonna kill myself when the first European country turns minority white. From that point on it's just gonna be a slow slide to doom with mockery all the way. Though sorry if you're alienated by the opposite.
>>
i masturbate to insect hentai
>>
>>42248910
I’m the second one and I’m white
>>
>>42258148
may i get a link to some? im an entomology major
>>
>>42251902
Same lol
>>
>>42258609
/int/ twinks are some of the most dangerous creatures on the planet.
>>
squeak
>>
>>42258644
Beep
>>
>>42238484
I say I have a cock that's over 7 inches but... it's only the case if we also measure the slight bend I have, otherwise it's like 6.7 inches, this is from a tranny on hrt so you can probably imagine the annoyance of even getting it up now, I don't even like using it much but in order to keep the size I have to, this is a lot more sexual than I like talking about but it's so annoying to me
>>
>>42258148
very common tranner fetish.
you, the dog person up there and the dino lovers.
plus that one who wants to fuck her brother.
all very common, at least in this community.
>>
>>42252845
do you ever feel like you're not a 'real person' somehow? like you don't have a soul or a spirit or humanity or some other thing that everyone else has and you don't, and that that makes you less than fully human, maybe in some strange ways more, but either way still completely set aside like you belong to some other category of thing?
>>
>>42260751
oh, yeah.... i feel exactly like that all the time. like im very hollow and empty inside and if anyone sees that they'll leave me
>>
>>42258262
Why would that make you upset
>>
>>42258148
I... masturbate to insect fight videos :x
Insect gore is very arousing to me. I hate regular gore and dismemberment, but seeing insects getting theirs limbs severed turns me on
https://youtu.be/qWwwfpqYSO4?si=CCkmrYc_U0rL62d9&t=290



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.