Hi. New to this board, figured I might as well try to share some of these feelings I've been having relating to potential gender dysphoria since I've got zero friends.I'm a 21 year old, 5'8'', white male and in college. I've been consuming porn since I was 12 and have struggled with porn addiction for years. I recall first discovering femboys at around 13 and quickly got obsessed. I really wanted to be feminine looking. I remember thinking how I wish I was born a girl, but quickly came to the conclusion that transitioning was a bad idea because it would never be the "real thing", I assumed I would never pass for a girl and people would think I'm a weird freak.Years passed, I thought I moved on by around 17. I was on this whole "self improvement" phase, trying to cut down on porn. I remember convincing myself how the whole femboy thing was just a result of porn addiction, and that by becoming "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with any of these urges again. I was wrong about that. I never fully moved on, would always feel secretly jealous when I came across some cute looking femboy online. My whole "self improvement" went down the drain at some point and I became deeply depressed and my porn addiction got worse, though this was also likely amplified by pressure from college work. I've been this way since, feeling hopeless about the future. I can't help but still feel this urge to be feminine. I want this so bad but I wonder whether if that isn't the source of my problems, whether I'll be giving in to my porn addiction and fucking myself for life. I don't know if I'm trans. I still wish I was born a girl, but I'm not convinced I can still become one. I don't want to deal with not passing and being an ugly weirdo for life, but I'm not happy as I am now either.
nobody cares faggot
if you cant live with yourself, why not try?
you don't have a porn addiction, you're just a tranny
yeah welcome to the crew, take your hormones alice
>>42248059lol this happened to me too i trooned at 25, i still dont know if i should have, i dont present as a girl
>>42248059Put aside wishing you were born a girl for a moment. How would you feel if in a few years:>you had breasts>you had long hair>you had female genitals>you had no facial hair>you had soft skin and thinner body hair>your male libido (intense with high peaks but short lived, erections, desire to top, focused on the genital area specifically) were replaced by female libido? (lower peaks but more constant, no erections, desire to be penetrated, more focused on the whole body than just the genitals, more amorous and reliant on love)These are all things that physical transition can give you. If you want all or most of these things, then there's your answer on whether you should consider physical transition.How would you feel if:>people called you by a woman's name>people automatically used she/her pronouns for you (without you having to ask them to)>gentlemen held doors for you even as complete strangers >people didn't think it was weird if you acted feminine sometimes>you wore women's clothing (that you look decent in)These are all things that social transition can give you. If you want all or most of these things, then there's your answer on whether you should consider social transition.>struggled with porn addiction for yearsI was the same way before I trooned out. Now I have a female body and social life, live together with a man, and I don't watch porn anymore (I have no interest or need for it.)>not passingYou're more likely to pass if you start now rather than start tomorrow. You really have to ask yourself if you'll be able to hold out your entire life without transitioning, or if you'll eventually become John, 50.
>>42248059if you transitioned fully, and let's say 5 years down the road, you were full-time: could you eventually pass? (height/weight/facial structure)
>>42248059>still wish I was born a girlstart hrt now, even if you never pass you'll feel better.
>>42248059trust me, it's not the porn. the porn is just a reflection of who you want to be.
It's the porn, the rancid culture, and an online community of other gooners. Walk away
>>42250913It's a mirage, not a reflection. He cannot be a woman.
>>42249509nta. just some an agp>you had breastsI don't know desu, I feel indifferent towards it right now>you had long hairI'd like it, I'm already growing out my hair>you had female genitalsThis kinda scares me >you had no facial hairWouldn't mind that at all, I shave anyways>you had soft skin and thinner body hairAgain, wouldn't mind that at all, I shaved once and I really liked it desu>your male libido (intense with high peaks but short lived, erections, desire to top, focused on the genital area specifically) were replaced by female libido? (lower peaks but more constant, no erections, desire to be penetrated, more focused on the whole body than just the genitals, more amorous and reliant on love)I don't care that much, I guess it would be nice. I already have desire to be penetrated lol>people called you by a woman's nameMakes me cringe a little right now, might be different if I actually looked like a woman. There are women with my name, it's a little bit more common for guys, but still I'd maybe just keep my name.>people automatically used she/her pronouns for you (without you having to ask them to)I think I'd like it that>gentlemen held doors for you even as complete strangers Idk makes me feel a little awkward.>people didn't think it was weird if you acted feminine sometimesThat would be nice.>you wore women's clothing (that you look decent in)I'd like that. I don't wanna look decent though, I actually wanna look good.>You really have to ask yourself if you'll be able to hold out your entire life without transitioning, or if you'll eventually become John, 50.I'd rather become John, 50 than a non passing ugly transwoman. But if I could actually pass I'd prefer that ofc.
>>42251266>I'd rather become John, 50 than a non passing ugly transwoman.That's what John, 50 is though?>This kinda scares me Why?
