ive slowly been coming to the realization that it doesn't get better. all i want in life is to be a housewife/homekeeper, i dont even care who its for, but i just want to be the most tradwife i could possibly be. instead i work a 9-5 with no support systems whatsoever, with crippling mental health issues, and disassociative episodes so bad ive gotten in multiple minor car accidents due to them. i go to my job, i come home, then everything else is a blur. i go in the shower, time skips, i get out. i have this fantasy in my head about what life could be, but everything around me is collapsing, no husband to love me, i feel like a shell of a person now. brain empty, nothing happening. no revolution will save me of my life, no hard work will get me out of this hole, and no prince charming will sweep me off my feet and take me to a better life. i see so many people living my fantasy online, but it feels like it is just impossible for me. i douse my mind with any chemicals i can find for any chance that i can finally escape it, or at least damage it enough to stop functioning. i am 19 years old and i already feel like its over, im cooked.
>>42292683you should try dousing your mind with lithium carbonate
>>42292743where can i buy that?
>>42292843it's readily available at most pharmacies with a prescription, which is very easy to get.
>>42292896i dont have money for a farmacy though
>>42292931it's an extremely cheap medication even without insurance. uninsured typical price is around $30 for a 2 month supply.it's one of the only medications scientifically proven to reduce suicidal tendencies. if you continue to do nothing about your mental health it will continue to worsen.
>>42292683>19 years oldtake a step back and breathe. you are just beginning and stepping foot into the world. i relate with a lot of what you said, and i have the same desire of finding a husband and becoming housewife as you do. except im 27 and it hasn't happened for me yet. not even a boyfriend for longer than a couple months. im only just now seeing a glimmer of hope that my dream might happen for me.you have to stay strong. its a marathon not a sprint. that man might not come and sweep you off your feet for a couple years. maybe half a decade. count your blessings. work on yourself and what's meant for you will come. substances won't help, trust me. try not to compare yourself to what you see online, it's not real. a genuine connection like the one you're searching for doesn't need to be shared on social media, its meant to be lived.
>>42292683>am 19 years oldBruh say this when you're 29You life has only just started
>>42292683how long have you been on e?>>42293615>"oh you dont have it as bad yet"you do know that this is the stupidest thing to say to a suicidal person?
>>42292683if you are cute then i can adopt you
>>42292683If you're 5/10, I'll adopt you sis.
>>42292683Most people want this OP, but it’s not going to happen for you in America or similar country. This dream doesn’t exist. Not anymore. The global economy specifically makes this difficult for anyone even the top 20% most beautiful women on earth. Only 5% probably actually get to live with their lives fully paid for. Either way it’s a high-octane life, no joke. Being feminine and attractive takes astounding endurance, creativity and social and physical effort. You may be able to find a purely domestic role but you will most likely have to get in line behind 80% of plain Jane women and settle for a chopped/mediocre guy who might treat you like shit, that is until social norms change enough to erase these chud ls out of existence.
>>42292683you sound like my fggoted classmate if he actually talked and this was his thoughts
>>42293554also this. This nona knows.Women around the world are in a constant trial to refine themselves and love themselves until they are their best selves. You have no idea how many gorgeous, smart, funny, talented women I know who are single because they haven’t hit that perfect m stride that will bring Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and make a nice family together. This is literally part of femin in e culture worldwide. But remember, it’s not about changing yourself into something a man would want. It’s about loving yourself until you’re so happy and empowered that you become the kind of woman a man didn’t even know he could want or even pursue. Every woman I know (who hasn’t given up) is refining their relationship with themselves and each other every day in order to build the inner energy, love, and power that they need to pull any thing they want, including the perfect husband.
