before trooning>forever alone NEET sperg robotafter trooning>forever alone NEET sperg robotyeah, i basically trooned just so i could be a "girl" in my room all day. but ive already realized that my life will be spent alone and i wasn't designed to spend my life with someone or be able to make connections. im trooning simply for my sake.
>>42299639Same I am a disabled hikki. I'm literally just trooning for myself, does that shatter the AGP argument in some way? You'd think it would be my fetish to parade myself infront of people.
I'm a chaser and I want to save someone like you but you don't want to be saved.
>>42299639Most of you niggas malebrained af. Get used to suffering
>>42299663honestly the AGP/HSTS debate means nothing to me. i just do it because i like it, it doesn't really matter to me what others say.but in all honesty i just transitioned because i like acting girly and doing girly stuff. as creepy as that makes me sound
>>42299672you're not only right, but you also can't "save" me.>>42299683>niggasooga booga to you too, kind sir
>>42299639trooning for your sake is the only thing that matters. literally that's why you should do it.being a neet as a girl is orders of magnitude better than being a neet as a guy.but you should go and find places to talk to people. like a club or something. try wargaming, they're usuually pretty chill and equally neetish so they won't judge.
>>42299663What is the current AGP argument? My understanding was HSTS is attracted to men and want to be women, and AGP is attracted to women and want to be women.
>>42299716i don't like talking to people. i don't like being around people. people are tiring. i prefer enjoy my own presence
>>42299728okay so find some quiet people to be around. people with nerdy hobbies tend to be pretty quiet. and if you're doing a hobby you can focus on that instead of just doing 1 on 1 conversation. may as well put yourself out there. you might find a person you enjoy being around.
>>42299722gynephile means attracted to femininity. Auto means essentially turned on yourself. Just to ramble more I had a funny thought I was AGP before I even had a sexuality I had fantasies about being a girl when I was in first grade. I didn't learn about sex until I was 10. They try to paint AGP as some sexual thing.
>>42299759so agp has a non-sexual component?
>>42299787Oh yeah it definitely can if you believe my experiences I am telling you about, but rightoids are trying to make it sounds like perversion, a sexual fetish, and they just dismissively spam AGP everywhere.
>>42299755i don't like when people are in the vicinity. i don't like when people are in the same room as me. i don't like when people talk to me. i want to be able to be alone and be free from the presence of anyone. i can't enjoy myself until nobody is around. when people are around me i start feeling tense and i can't think or relax.
>>42299810same I have social anxiety and autism. I hate having to mask, and well that added ontop of hating social situations turned me into hikki. I feel no stress when I am alone. Every time I go outside I get stressed.
>>42299805I always heard that it was. Maybe that was just TERF bullshit.
>>42299826exactly. i am autistic too and my sensory sensitivities get awful when people are around me when they make noise and by sheer virtue of their presence. and their presence makes me anxious as well because i don't know how to talk to people and i don't like talking to them because it's very exhausting. so i kinda hate being around people because it's like im in an RPG and there's an enemy about to walk over to me and engage in battle.
>>42299842Chicken and egg thing probably. I mean if you are looking at adults, and most adults are sexual beings than anytime someone with AGP does something sexual they can paint the whole thing as perversion and a fetish.
>>42299861that's kinda true actuallybut i still can't shake the belief that i've just got a fetish instead of real dysphoria
>>42299876who cares you're gonna die and you're gonna become earth and the maggots eating your body and then you're gonna become a tree and the grass and the butterflies. just troon if you wanna
>>42299900>and you're gonna become earth and the maggots eating your body and then you're gonna become a tree and the grass and the butterflies.you know you don't *have* to stay in this meat robot suit, right?
>>42299900i know that. but i'm still scared. i hate being the centre of attention and i worry my parents would feel like they're losing their son. and i worry i'd get partway through trooning and realise i never wanted to be a girl.
>>42299810hmmwell if you want to be a hikikomori then it's your choice.but i don't think staying alone your whole life is healthy. what exactly don't you like about it?
>>42299913you think metal is more special than meat? we are all children of the universe and our form is temporary and subject to the whims of entropy.
>>42299941would you please be my hikki discord friend.
>>42299930do i need to explain it to you? i don't feel like you would understand as a normal, and i don't think you do.>>42299919then don't troon out, it's your choice
>>42299951talking to people is tiring
>>42299964all good hikki-chan :)
>>42299996i was under the impression you were a hikky too
>>42300019I am a hikki, but I still converse with people on the internet, like I am doing right now.
>>42300062impossible!
Would you be open to an arrangement where I enter your room, say nothing, plap you without looking at you, then leave?
>>42299952>then don't troon outI'll probably do that out of sheer laziness. But I feel like whatever option I pick I'm going to regret it.>do i need to explain it to you?I mean maybe? I just feel like if this comes from a place of fear, then neither option is very good.
>>42300131this doesn't come from a place of fear. of course your normal brain understands this thru the nuance of emotions. but my issue comes from the way my biology is built making me fundamentally incompatible with others from the ground up.i didn't know you were also the tranny poster. i though you were a chaser, lole
>>42299759> Auto means essentially turned on yourself. ...They try to paint AGP as some sexual thing.Oh weird. I mean im def more attracted to feminine sexually than masculine, which is why ive been saying im AGP. I also fantasize about being a woman, but its mixture of sexual and wishing I could just wear makeup, dress how I want in public, without being the freak, but also I guess i want stuff in between, like wanting to feel pretty not handsome, or treated/loved like a woman (not just in the sexual way). I guess the "auto" qualifier confuses me. I mean I can get turned on to myself (in femalemode) but I usually need something with others involved, maybe porn of another woman or lesbian porn or thinking of an ex gf, or if a man him manhandling me like i was his little bitch.> Just to ramble more I had a funny thought I was AGP before I even had a sexuality I had fantasies about being a girl when I was in first grade. I didn't learn about sex until I was 10. Similar, except im old af! They never had these words so i never said anything. Pre-puberty, my favorite clothes were these very short and tight bike shorts. I actually dont know why i had them, but they were very effeminate. i liked the way they felt, and looked and i was always jealous of girls at that age being able to wear tighter clothing and have long hair. Clearly none of that was ever sexually derived. In puberty its harder to discern, as things like panty stealing to wear and shaving my body hair, usually had some sexual influence or seed. But its like everything tied back to sex at puberty.
>>42300175niggerkiller, this is my thread. go skewer some negros or what have you.
>>42299900As doomerpilled as that is worded, its incredibly true. Having my grandma die this past year, getting old myself, i have so much self reflection now. We all will be bones (male) one day. I dont want to be that never being myself, feels like a complete waste of life.
>>42300186Stop being mean. I wasnt trying to steal anything from you. I just wanted to converse with that post/poster.
>>42300202hmm? i was under the impression that niggerkiller was a moid, but nevertheless you're happy? it goes away, and then you die.you're sad?, it goes away, and then you die. what's it worth having a life well lived? the world moves on and you will vanish along with the past. why not simply just focus on being comfy?
>>42300167okay but this sounds like the way i tried to justify avoiding social situations. i just kept saying "some of us aren't meant to talk to others i got saddled with the shitty genes that make me unable to socialise." i get it might be different in your case but i kinda thought like that when i was really brainwormed.also yeah in retrospect i did kinda sound like a chaser trying to get you to open up.i just go through periods of crushing regret and loneliness over opportunities i've missed so i don't want it to happen to others.
>>42300304you're such a naive NPC it makes me retch. but i suppose i shouldn't be mean to someone who is trying to help me.i won't elaborate myself because i feel like ive had to elaborate myself enough on this site, but we are two different people and our issues are clearly very different. yours has to do with mentality, mine has to do with physiology.
>>42300358aw forgot picture )-:
>>42300242> what's it worth having a life well lived? Everything. Literally everything. Everything you can possibly feel, think, or remember, is in your head, consciousness or soul. If being comfy is a life well lived then absolutely do that! If being a woman is well lived, then do that too! At the same time, you dont vanish after death. Your soul returns to the earth. You become one with everything else. So what you do while living is important, and how it affects the world after you die is also important, because you will be the world after death. Your conscious ability to do anything about it will stop, but you dissolve into the earth. Make it a good place, this is literally your only chance.> moidIdk what I am, but im trying to be open and honest about myself. I present male, have always secretly wanted to present female, which is half due to my age (we were never taught about trans in middle or HS), but when i was older (25) and learned about transitioning, I also choose wrong by doing everything I could to avoid and stop those thoughts. It didnt work and may have gotten worse. Now im too old to ever present female, so my hobby is basically crossdressing. Hopefully this is the lst time I have to blog post my history. I was hoping tripfagging would help give some history here to avoid that, but jannies keep bannies me
>>42300493oh my god.. i don't know how to break it to you, you look like a man.also im not a regular on this board, so idk your history lol. niggerkiller is just a male name.anyways, didn't you know that humans are the earth, and humans are the universe? and like us, they all wash over?
>>42299941I didn't mean metal. I meant something more non-physical! c:
>>42300555also it's a shitty name because racism is like, the only rule the jannies enforce any morei always assumed she was just trolling tbdesu
>>42300555besides, i don't believe anyone who makes vast claims about the metaphysical nature of reality, ironic considering i was spending all my time doing this very thing in the thread, but it was really just for the sake of hypothesis. but really, all of our assumptions about life and reality rest on self proving assumptions and circular reasoning chains created from our observations, but what's to say your observations don't falter or what if there is an illogic to the world that cannot be perceived? in this abyss of unknowing, i choose to simply be comfy.>>42300562are you a spiritualityfag? your ideas are no more grounded than scientism or atheism.
>>42300598but here i go making claims again that ignore my own philosophy, of course everything is possible and i can't necessarily dismiss your proposal
>>42300555> you look like a man.Omg! Im so shocked! Im literally shaking and crying rn!I never claimed otherwise. I yam who I yam. > anyways, didn't you know that humans are the earth, and humans are the universe? and like us, they all wash over?Yes.Humans are a growth from earth and for it. Even if you subscribe to more extraterrestial origins, we still become part of this earth in the end, and the Earth is part of the solar system, solar system part of the galaxy, etc. its all connected. Nothing washes away or leaves.
>>42300641what if they did? how would you be able to tell? you are only sure of this because it's an extrapolation your algorithm seeking brain has created in order to make sense of this world and predict it better. how do you make sure your senses which are merely a projection of a facet of the real world are telling you the truth and the entire truth about it?
>>42300598>no more grounded than scientism or atheism.I think that it is safe to assume that you are a non-physical energy based being piloting a chemical meat suit having a temporary experience of this nature.I'm sure you could eventually come to some sort of scientific explanation for it.Try to leave your body sometime, it used to be more common...
>>42300672> what if they did?What if I could be a woman? There all sorts of IFs we could say, doesnt make it real or possible. Everything else you write is schizo bamble. It only takes two points to draw a line, but to make sense of scatter plots, you need to calc the correct two points first. Schitzo bamble is generated when the person choose the wrong to points then follows the incorrect line out which always leads to nonsense. Conversely, choosing the correct two points will trend out to rational or the "ah ha!" feeling.
>>42300787>>42300773i don't need to talk to either of you. your thoughts are too lowly
>>42300794don't lump me in with the self hating racistif you truly wish to return to dirt nothing stops you, I'm just pointing out that other possibilities exist
>>42300805but i don't believe in that. i may have made it out as if that was indeed a core tenants of my belief, but that was simply for the sake of argument, as my beliefs rest firmly rather in pyrrhonian skepticism. i don't trust you or anyone as much as i distrust death determinists.
>>42300833What's it like being this mentally ill?
>>42300833>i don't believe in thatand to reuse a callous phrase facts don't care about your feelings, and the fact is you can do absolutely anything conceivable or inconceivable in this infinite universe.you are something instead of nothing, the question is not why do you breathe but why do you feel what do you want and where will you go.
>>42300863my favorite pastry is chocolate eclairs, though lately i've been inching more torwards strawberry shortcakes.
>>42300833ataraxia echoes formless meditation void meditation vipassana etc etc etc anyway so examine the source of your own claimed beliefs more deeply, too! the answers are within, when all sensory noise is filtered.
>>42300882my beliefs are that i have none and i don't know.>>42300871pathetic. and yet here you are making callous claims about the metaphysical nature of reality, despite the infinite possibilities and unknowable nature of it. how can you trust facts when anything is possible, including the possibility that your observations are inherently faulty and there is a logic or something beyond logic which will always escape the grasp of your human comprehension? how can you trust what a mere projection in your mind?
>>42300911>how can you trust facts when anything is possibleyou can make a few simple assertions that are true, yes the existence of paradoxes is paridoxically all also true. the point is EVERYTHING exists. a human both can't know but also holds the entire infinite. my observations are both completely flawed but also infallible. it's probably more fun to try to surf other potential realities or fantasize about where you would go or what you would do completely unrestricted than doomshitavatarpost on lgbt though innit?
>>42300937and you cannot even fathom that there are some things that are unfathomable by human minds? you take it completely for granted that the laws of nature came to be and the world works the way it does? how would you be so sure with that your mind could even could grasp that which is incomprehensible if that is in its very nature, impossible to comprehend?
>>42300977human minds yes, become inhuman, grasp the incomprehensible. everything is constantly changing and evolving, anything can become anything else, a trans person understands this better than most humans.again though the point is>you know you don't *have* to stay in this meat robot suit, right?because I have experiential proof of that which is good enough for me, it's a great option for trans people, you don't need to philosophically debate and grasp existence or futility or anything else to astral project, it's a fundamental right of any conscious being.
>>42301014and what if it's a logic that is beyond this world? what if it's a logic or illogic, a complete lack of logic, or perhaps something else entirely, a concept that this reality has no words or associated concept for? a concept that not even a god could grasp? and you think that the way out is so simple, a conclusion that which you have reached through your own observation, but how would you know that your observation will be the one to rise above all the other untruths?if it is a truly ungraspable concept, then how do you know you can be the one to grasp it?
>>42299639very similar situation; neet before trooning, neet after trooning, doing it entirely just to be more comfortable w/ my body while i bedrot>>42299672nta but because most chasers are just random guys who arent equipped to deal with a tranny that starts freaking tf out as sobbing when you try having sex because it reminds her of the rape, or dealing with someone who doesn't bathe or go outside or function like an adult. Why would you want to "save" such a failure at being a person like that?
>>42301135ive already had my fair share of encounters with random guys. nevertheless they're not equipped to deal with meare you content with your life as a NEET?
>>42301056this is where the tiniest bit of faith is required that things will not suddenly cease or change from something as trivial as death! ...if the experience of leaving this body and experiencing other contexts for reality is not evidence of a more longlived essence ...if every experiencer and nde report is not an outright fabrication or lie, that there is some level of truth to something more than entropic churn.then what's the standard of evidence? what do you need to see to try to do something interesting and unreal?it's something that's hard to believe without experiencing, rejecting all of your and everyone elses experiences entirely likely leads to depression.it's easy to sit in your room and type that nothing is knowable therefore nothing is worth fantasizing about or trying for but ultimately i think you know that isn't true as much as i do.
>>42301056>but how would you know that your observation will be the one to rise above all the other untruths?additionally - it's not about "rising above" because this is a linear view, all it has to do is coexist with every other possibility. there is the possibility that it is destroyed by another possibility yes, but equally there is the possibility that wasn't destroyed. EVERYTHING exists and you can go there.
>>42299639>but ive already realized that my life will be spent alone and i wasn't designed to spend my life with someone or be able to make connections. i think i have a similar fate. from what I've learned so far at least it will help you grow a lot internally. it's like you're learning to create your own world within yourself. https://youtube.com/watch?v=Xq6b8TdeFcQ&si=5rq1SViI_7GTe3VI
>>42301191you do not have any actual counterargument. i lay this conversation to rest
>>42301215i like this thread
>>42301206you are right. everything could be false and everything could be true. but how would you know?
>>42301221I'm not that anon butYou are extremely mentally unwell, if you choose to isolate yourself further you will become further mentally unwell, right now that might not seem so bad, but it's going to get badAt least make one or two frens that can be your support network, you need this more than you feel like you do
>>42301240talking and having friends is a burden that makes me exhausted. the only modes of communication i can tolerate are image boards
>>42301221you're not a janitor so you can't do that! this is the universe where I keep talking to encourage you to seek the experience of nonphysicality because of how freeing it is and how good it feels.In essence, who cares if it's real? It's better than here. Break free experience joy experience unnamed emotions.
>>42301206also. the "rise above" was merely to illustrate my point, but my beliefs are not grounded in any words. and it seems like you are still trying to grasp at what it is i believe.what i believe in? it's that i don't know. anything i say is an attempt to communicate this point, but words are a mere reflection of that which i hold as my truth, or lack thereof.
>>42301215i hope someone likes my song and image combo. i hope we can all invite each other to our afterlife worlds and show each other the stuff we created, it would be really cool. this just reminded me of those old games in roblox (like early 2010-2010s roblox) where you could buy an apartment and stuff and it was like a little life roleplay but it was so cool and surreal to see as a kid. i dont know how to describe it but it was really interesting to see that through the eyes of a kid. it was really surreal? I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was similar to how those "liminal space" types of pictures feel but way more vivid.
>>42301260Then find someone like you, and talk to them like once a week, you keep isolating and you're going to go full schizophrenic, which means the wall monster will chase you around from everywhere you're not looking
>>42301293in terms of physicality, it seems like you have failed to remove yourself from this world and your line of thinking is sign of that.>>42301300that sounds comfy. i listened to your song, it's nice i suppose.
>>42301282>this is the universe where I keep talking to encourage you to seek the experience of nonphysicality because of how freeing it is and how good it feels. nta but I had vivid dreams my whole life since i was a kid (until recently) and its so interesting how much there is to experience. i also noticed similar stuff like how people fall in love with people they met in their dreams, this has happened to me before. i think i also even recently have had a dream where i had like separate memories in that dream, like an entire different life in the dream. it was so weird
>>42301317thanks :D
>>42301317oops, i meant to reply to>>42301282
to the poster talking about experience with astral projection, do you have a book or some tutorial for it? topics to explore? i feel constrained and not liberated by the idea that consciousness/soul doesnt persist after death, and with the amount ive read about the hard sciences i feel like the only way to be convinced otherwise is to get extrasensory knowledge. ive had a couple spooky things happen outside my control but i want to induce one myself so i know im not hallucinating. would appreciate any leads
>>42301334no problem.>>42301308i am neither diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizotypal or schizoid. i am simply capable to intellectualize concepts beyond the level of a child that most of you normals are stuck in.but nevertheless, your normal brain simply completely fails to grasp the nature of my situation, another one of you, useless.
>>42301317your lines of thinking are signs of depression! but if you're truly happy with what you're experiencing then continue to have at it, i just want you to remember that everything is out there and can be felt, so if you don't like anything you experience now or in the future there's always an alternative.
>>42301365ive already tried astral projection, by the way.
>>42301356>I'm not diagnosed with schizophreniaCurrently you could be diagnosed schizotypal, and nothing wrong with that, but you ignore my words at your own peril because you WILL become schizophrenic if you continue
>>42301408oh? oh yes, very well then doctor. i shall cease.
>>42301349>hard scienceshave no answer to the hard problem of consciousness, or NDE reports from measured periods of total or near total brain inactivity!you're right though, the only way I was personally convinced anything was worth trying was having those extrasensory experiences personally.4plebs x archive has /apg/, there's the gateway tapes/project, and what those spawned from robert monroe's journeys out of the body which is an interesting read, here's a pdf if you want it, or source yourself if not! https://litter.catbox.moe/rwjfnnepb7dwdtw7.pdf
>>42301386How did it go?
>>42301442i was made to do it by my brother who is all manners of into occultist psychic stuff. i followed all his steps and did as he told me. nothing to write home about.
>>42301503damn im so sleepy i swapped the phrase around.
>>42301503oh being made to do it is no good. i'm glad the experience was merely boring and not negative.
>>42301665i was young and i believed in astral projection as well, so i wanted to do it as well, and i tried.
>>42299639Same, tried unneeting/unaloning and it was disastrous wouldn't recommend
>>42299639same ive spent most of my life in my bedroomim so afraid of everything
>>42301687well that's different than being made to, but sure. there's a whole breadth of experience to be had if you still have desires that are not possible here physically.
>>42301748yay! another blameheadbut hard agree, contrary to the belief of many anons on this board, i tried to force myself into the real world and be like everyone else, and it was disastrous. i was made for the hermit life. it's nice, it's simple.
>>42301789suprisingly for an self isolator you actually acumulated wisdom. // as far as i can tellid like you to continue with this. maybe you are indeed made for this. //perhaps no one isI think wisdom should be shared. //perhaps more accumlation necessarymaybe write a book one day :) // i think i would like to read it even if i might not fully grasp it.real world can hurt. // There is a patternhumans are frustrating. // There is a pattern to their movment, their organisations, thier speechhumans are unfree. // even factoring out the more literal chains. They don't like us. // and who is that us? I need other humans to protect me from the elements and finance me and adjust my shell, and i need to talk to people (for reasons i don't fully grasp).and so i am thankful for their (seeming) existence. I don't belive either that reality is knowable, but assuming most things to be real is what i call a useful fiction. It is useful because "most humans" (i think the term in this day and age would be "NPC") "function better" in "their Life"if they belive it regardless of truthfulness. "Free will" would be as far as i can tell another of these useful fictions. Because "people" that don't fully grasp "determinism" (i personally believe in multiple random determinations), behave more detrimental to well "ordered society" very nice choice of pictures by the way they alone would suffice for an beautiful thread.Thank you :)conclusion: i should read Blame. // isn't this the true purpose of this site?>>42299639that is the path i hope to walk.however i am only a NET sperg robot, and not yet after transition.
>>42302012everyday, i keep discovering new concepts in my mind. i keep thinking things over and iterating my philosophy. yet i never do come closer to a truth.i do want to write perhaps a manifesto of my beliefs one day though. or perhaps a fiction that is imbued by my beliefs. ive never really seen much of anyone else talk about this complete metaphysical detachment approach to philosophy, but after all, it's not a labor that bears many fruits.but indeed if anything is certain, by the very nature of the workings of the human mind, we are designed to create a fiction about the world, a practical fiction that helps us navigate the world and improve our prediction capabilities in order to fill our purpose of a memetic local entropy maximizing function. at least, that is what i have observed with my senses, and there could be so much more to it. i am a fallible human as well, of course. despite my pyrrhonian skeptic approach, it's writings include the possibility that the entirety of it's basis could be wrong, or right, as is the basis of any philosophy. it is the eternal mystery of the metaphysical nature of reality. why does this world work the way it does, why did it come to be? why does logic.. logic? is perception all there is to reality or is there are an invisible unfathomable function governing it? what if there is no truth but pure absurdity? what if there are many layers of truth? how do we know that we reached the final one? and more and more and yet more.. i could be asking myself questions ad finitum. so many questions that there is no question to as is right now. but in the back of my mind, i do hope one will be discovered some day. it's curious how this is a thought that doesn't even cross the mind of the majority of the population. ive always had this looming feeling at the back of my mind that something wasn't right. an utterly fascinating, self destructing logical spiraling obsession.and blame is a fantastic manga to get lost in, so do read.
>>42302260>not a labor that bears many fruits.any*
>>42302329the point of saying "many" instead of "any" is that it's supposed to ironically emphasize how little fruit it bears by setting the expectations higher using the descriptor "many" despite knowing that it does not in fact bear "any" fruit.
>>42302351how do you best approach truth when you ask questions but cannot accept the certainty of any answer?
>>42302364how do i approach it? i don't, i withdraw judgement. i live in the trough of unknowing. i do not have a set philosophy or set of beliefs.
>>42302394is this satisfying for an infinite timespan?
>>42302539is anything supposed to be necessarily satisfying? if satisfying is what you're looking for, simply look to nihilism, existentialism or religion.
>>42302582just trying to fathom the viewpoint of not engaging with anything and that being a desirable outcome, it's easy to conceive of this but hard to approach understanding.
>>42302682you think i think this because it's desirable?
>>42301164no. i honestly think about killing myself every single day, and it feels more real as time goes on. ive been so unbelievably insanely skin crawlingly alone for almost 10 years. my life is ruined and i have nobody. i get as high as i can every day and am simply waiting to die. idk how you're content with it, i go days without a conversation. i want a hug. i want someone to tell me hey you matter. hey, im happy to see your face in the morning. it would take weeks for anyone to find me if i was dead. if not for my stuffie (big stuffed unicorn) i would have literally nothing...she is the one reason i dont blow my fucking head off, because they'd take her away & burn her and i could never do that to her ;-;
>>42302725idk is there any help you can try get around the rape stuff so can at least try again with men. i break down crying in front of them, and they just sit there awkwardly, then later they apologize over text and have me over again anyway.
>>42302725well hey, that sounds like my life but basically all my life. welcome to the club. it's not easy sometimes, but it is what it is.
>>42302764ive never even tried to date before, or to have sex. ill post pictures of myself online & talk to guys every so often bc it makes me feel desirable when i have never been desired by anyone for anything. but the feeling doesnt last long. ive become somewhat comfortable with the fact that im ruined goods and that intimacy is not something ill experience in this life>>42302776it is what it is </3
>>42302907: ( i suppose if youre comfortable then. i just get with bottom chasers since theyre so warm and shy for such physically masculine men. doing the thing for them lets me get so much intimacy out of them after.
>>42302907ill give you this: you're infinitely more fembrained than me
>>42302982im not honestly comfortable with it, its just cope so i dont break down hysterically sobbing every time i see two people smiling deeply at each other with that knowing loving smile two soulmates get, or holding hands, or laughing together. being with a guy and needing him to hand hold me through the entire process would make me feel like im imposing. maybe if he was warm & gentle... its a nice thought c:
i would be ur friend anon :((us hikkis have to stick together
>>42303026some very intimidating men can be so warm with tgirls. that includes handholding and kissing on a park bench. probably helps being so dissociating it feels dream like most times so dont panic.hope you experience some warmth some day nona, you deserve some connection
welp, my thread belongs to venters nowand it's just about time for me to sleep
>>42302698then I don't understand, why not do something you desire instead?
>>42299716trvke except wargaming is gay (figuratively)>>42299728>>42299810you should try camping it's really fun
