>mid 30s>on hrt for a couple of years>dysphoria due to agp/porn addiction from a young age>complete failure professionally and socially>never had sex>face that wouldn't pass with ffs>zero desire to transition >miserable as a man but can't be a stealth trans woman which is the only outcome that could make life bearable>ashamed of every facet of my beingstruggling to see the point in staying alive
>>42311679idk some queer nonbinary genderfuck people who would be in your same situation are nice even if theyre cringe. maybe go to some local punk shows and see if it's an atmosphere you like
>>42311748anything queer or "genderfuck" makes me want to rip my skin off.
>>42311679do you like art at all? if you're trans, it means you can see beauty in things. maybe you can focus on artwork or start trying some form of it if you never did. Japan has produced tons of anime and amazing artwork and you can tell that the people who made some of it wanted to be women, like some old 80s-90s anime where the main characters are dressed like bunny maids or something. But in Japan it's basically socially impossible to transition. I think they channeled their desire into their artwork and maybe that helped them cope with it. maybe it could help? if you become good at artwork, it could also give you a skill that you could be proud of https://youtube.com/watch?v=AJg6RN-vV80&si=U8-nMuiGdL9nYkMQ
>>42311895i do have creative hobbies but they are pointless in the grand scheme of things and bring me no joy
>>42311895also honestly this is more of a "grew up on the internet" brained thing but "image therapy" helps me so much cause since i was a kid i always would go through stuff i liked on tumblr (and pinterest now) etc and it was always just really relaxing. it basically was like looking through photography from online for hours and organizing it on your blog or privately etc. maybe it seems silly but a lot of other people (like early gen z now mid 20s people) have also commented about how they still do this. it relaxes me a lot. this page is really nice https://pin.it/5nb1zBhyF (you have to click the section that says "Created", not "saved")
>>42311679Nona, honestly idk what advice to give you because I am in a similar situation and myself don't know what to do
>>42311912what are they
>>42311946how do you cope
>>42311967I don't.
>>42311964it doesn't matter
>>42311968Are you on hrt? Manmoding?
>>42312156On HRT, manmoding.
>>42312332Are you against honmoding?
>>42311775Me too but that’s cause it too close to home, you can’t fight what you are you just like… are. Lots of people who are kinda neurotic and introverted kinda hate themselves or things about them it’s pretty normal really.
>>42311775i think you should open your mind. the alternative is the status quo which is clearly miserable and stagnant
>>42311679im younger than you but i can see myself ending up like youi really fucked my life up by dropping out of school and just isolating myself for a long time. its so sad, i probably could have been a trans woman if i took it seriously
>>42312874It's either man or non passing tranny freak. I'll take the former
>>42312893you're free to do whatever you want with your life, including the same thing you've been doing with no change whatsoever that's been making you apparently miserable.
