Is it possible to develop a female self as a cis man?I'm certain that being a cis man is a sinking ship for me, and that I will be sure to live an empty and depressing life as one, so I need to be able to make being a woman work if I ever want to be happy, even though I am a cis man.
>>42312033>>42312033>>42312033you can be a woman. you can be a real woman if you work on it. people will see you as a woman, treat you as a woman. even if they think you're kind of weird. it's called transgender, it allows you to change from one gender to another
>>42312033no, there's no redraws in lifeso play your hand as best you can
>>42312074I know what being trans is. It's just that I'm not, as my sense of self is fully male, which is what I'm trying to change, because I'm certain that it's a sorce of boundless misery for whatever reason.
>>42312033Op is pluralitymaxxing
>>42312033>develop a female selfare you schizophrenic? wtf does this mean? are you perhaps over the age of 40? only boomerhons talk like this.mayhaps you can go to therapy and try to undo your ridiculous, antiquated notions of gender rather than putting on a wig and trying to get your tulpa to take over?
>>42312203I'm swear I'm not, as I would immediately kill my current male sense. I really want to get rid of it asap
>anything can be true if you believe it enough, anon!
>>42312264I’m like 99% sure this is JKRs larping alt account. Seeing them back and forth on twitter has the strongest samefagging energy it’s uncanny.
>>42312174Your sense of self is “fully male” what does that even mean to you OP? Have you never met a masculine woman or something?This weird essentialist stuff is really so strange to me it feels like alien shit.
>>42312220I'm 21 and I'm certain I'm not a schizo. I'm aware of how insane I sound right now, but I really couldn't think of a better way to articulate myself. I currently really feel like I'm internally a man, which definitely hinders me from properly transitioning.I simply cannot imagine ever being anything but a man, even though I deeply despise it
>>42312074>>42312033A year ago I told myself the same. I'm starting HRT in like six months being 21 years old. Try learning make-up or putting on female clothing. It's good to start with something simple
>>42312320I know it sounds like I'm being an essentialist, but I simply cannot conceive of myself as anything but a nan, which in turn makes it impossible for me to believe that I even deserve to transition. It's not about being masculine or feminine, it's about the fact that I feel like I'll always be a wolf in sheep's clothing
>>42312174>im a man because i've never been a womanweird truism! fancy. consider, if you could push a button that makes you 100% a real womab?
>>42312383>nan>grandmother>woman>femalecongrats op
>>42312383this isn't how cis men talk about being a man this sounds more like you're an mtf repperlike manhood is less of a secure identity and more of an intrusive thought obstructing you from being a woman
>>42312322women don't exist outside a social grouping. that's nothing to count on.all you can count on is your dysphoria, if that does exist for you.>>42312322desu idk wtf it means to feel like a man internally. i can't fathom that.but i can say that i've seen boomers do what seems like what you're describing, and to me, it comes across as replacing one kind of performance with another. they're just living the other side of a lie, and become even falser for it.maybe that's the only balance they can find after they've been so poisoned by this stuff; maybe it really does relieve the pressure from having to live a suffocating masculinity. but to me it just seems sad.
>>42312448Congrats on what?
>>42312461>all you can count on is your dysphoria, if that does exist for you. It probably doesn't, which is why I'm saying that I'm a cis man. It's just that I'm also beyond miserable as one
>>42312454It really doesn't feel like I'm repressing anything. My identity as a man is just something I see as a matter of fact, just like the sky is blue. I'm assuming that if I actually were to repress anything, then I'd be aware of it
>>42312579Repression is subconscious.People actually mean suppression when they talk about repression here normally. You likely are repressing genuinely.
cant repress if i dont know
>>42312383That’s just being essentialist though. How can you be a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” unless you think “wolf” and “sheep” are some distinct ontological categories with no overlap?You’re searching your brain for some sense of “femaleness” but where is the “maleness”? Why do you think it’s there?What if I told you that you were actually a female brain your entire life and we switched it at birth? There’s nothing distinctly male or female about you. You’re just a person. You can be a person in whichever way you want. Don’t give into other peoples framing or who or what you’re supposed to be just be the most you that you can.
>>42312632You can only repress if you don’t know. Actively choosing to repress is suppression not repression.Like all those rightoid dudes into fitness and acting manly and shit who don’t realise how gay they’re being. If they knew they’d be trying to push it away, but repression means they find an “outlet” and don’t realise what they’re doing.
>>42312579this is how repressors talk about themselves lmfaoreal men don't see being a man in this way -- like, a basic fact of life sure, but not restrictive or painful. masculinity can be restrictive, but men who dislike gender roles still see themselves as male comfortably. what you're describing is discomfort with the concept of being male, which you also see as an inescapable law of nature. imo this is deep-seated gender dysphoria and not a genuine cis male identity. i think you should see a therapist whether you transition or not
>>42312491being miserable as a man is what dysphoria isas a woman your life would not be all that measurably different. if it were, it would most likely be worse, especially as a trans woman. the idea that being a woman would be enough to fix you is one of two things: a sign of gender dysphoria or a sign that you are projecting your issues (financial, personal, whatever) onto something that you feel you can't control. realistically, though, the fact that you're specifically using your gender for this is still a sign that it's dysphoria-related.
>>42312810>or a sign that you are projecting your issues (financial, personal, whatever) onto something that you feel you can't control.nta but this is a persistent worry for me
>>42312862have you tried
>>42312810How can I know whether it really is dysphoria, abd not me projecting? My life is in all regards technically really good, besides that I can't bear my own existence as who I currently am. I'm also very much aware thar being a trans woman will just make everything more difficult than it would be as a cis man. Despite that, I still can't help but fear the possibility that all of this is just a scapegoat for something I'm not even aware of. Nothing has ever filled me with more fear than that.
>>42312862i feel that with people using gender as a scapegoat, it's usually identifiable because they're assigning a variety of unrelated issues to transition. do you think that your life, entirely unchanged as it is now, would be made better simply by being a woman? or are you thinking "if i were a woman, i could just marry a rich man and fix all of my finances, and i'd never be lonely because i'd have a million female friends, and i wouldn't be ugly..." etc etc. again, i think the second line of thinking is still rooted in genuine dysphoria, i just think it's also delusional and doesn't set one up with a good perspective on transition. if you're broke and friendless and unattractive now, you are probably also going to be a broke and friendless and unattractive woman if you don't make any other changes.
>>42312862I think this can be true but it doesn’t make you not trans either, like people tend to conflate a lot of their problems and focus on the most difficult ones to the point they become insurmountable, but that doesn’t mean the those difficult ones aren’t problems.I did it the other way around where I solved everything else first (career, financial, ego etc) but it didn’t fix the big one..
>>42312895hrt? no. mostly for that reason. that and my actual dysphoria is pretty mild compared to what others describe.
>>42312947>>42312915meant to tag you as well>>42312951yep, 100%. another big thing is that dysphoria can contribute to the other issues, eg being too dissociated to make friends and too uncomfortable with your body to improve your appearance, so transition can make it easier to work on yourself in other ways. but it doesn't do the work for you.
>>42312947>>42312951i feel like it is probably the former. it wasnt until i started making progress in fixing my other issues that 'dysphoria' really started to creep in.>>42312970i do feel like dissociation has played a huge role in not realizing things sooner
>>42313068Yeah same for me. I started trying to look after my body and realised I hated it lol. I never cared until then I was just detached and apathetic.
>>42313091yea detached and apathetic is exactly how i would describe it. and i feel like it has taken too long for me to snap out of it for it to be worth fully transitioning
>>42312957have you tried presenting in a more feminine way
>>42312970I'm op and I've posted >>42312915I've already tried hrt multiple times, but my fear of it all being a scapegoat and that I'm somehow projecting some undefined personal issues has made me stop every single time. There's also the fear if I end up fully transitioning, that I'll then end up realizing that I actually prefer being a man, despite how much I currently hate it
>>42313160not really in any sort of meaningful or intentional way. always had long hair i guess. people online do assume i am a woman from time to time.
>>42313269do you like it when that happens?
>>42313288i do
>>42313157It’s never too late I was almost 30, you might never get what you want but you can start going in the right direction and stop things from getting worse. Think of it as you are choosing to masculinise or femininse each day. Would you willingly take T every morning if you had the choice? Because functionally that’s what you’re doing. Indecision is still a decision.
>>42313441i guess that is a very good way of framing things..ahhhhhhhhhhh
>>42312668I guess you are right. I actually have no way to prove that I am "inherently male" except by being essentialistic in some way, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't help but feel utterly stained by malehood
>>42313441facts. op is intentionally deciding to go bald
>>42313682almost liek your manhood makes you.... dysphoric?
>>42312165This has the opposite effect. Makes them think transition works
>>42313821Maybe? I dunno, I've never not felt like this, so it's genuinely inconceivable to think I could ever feel any different
>>42313682Yeah I know. I get it. It’ll kinda always feel a bit like that I think. I’m coming up on 3 years hrt now and I don’t “feel like a woman” or anything really. But I don’t think I ever really “felt like a man” either I’d just made peace with the idea that that’s how it was and that’s how it had to be and there was nothing I could do. It was just “normal” to me.But it’s not really true. It’s just kinda checking out and letting things happen to you and being passive which you know if you think about it is a much more conventionally female trait…I dunno if I’m a man or a woman or whatever I don’t think it really matters. I like having a feminine body and presenting more feminine. I like feeling more comfortable being more open and accepting of my feminine traits. I like what E does to my body and how it makes me feel.Estrogen + finally making a decision and doing something was big for me. It really felt like I was “me” and alive/present in a way I’d never really felt before and it was like this within a week or two for me. Idk I think I’d be pretty happy just being androgynous or agender so long as I was trending towards feminine. Just stopping masculinisation was a huge change. I probably still have like imposter syndrome or something and I’ll probably never pass or whatever. But it’s 100% worth for me. Don’t count yourself out just because you’ve over thought it 100 times I was paralysed by indecision for like a decade and now I feel so stupid about it lol.
