Accidently got really drunk and high and told literally every single friend (both IRL best friends and online friends) in a big group chat that I'm trans or non binary and want to go by they/them. Then told a few friends in private I'm trans.I'm too scared to open up my messages now, I saw a few previews and my friend said she's happy no matter what I do and that we should go shopping, a few other people seemed maybe supportive. A lot of my friends messaged me asking if I was okay or needed to talk but I just ignored them mostly.I feel like I fucked everything up and I honestly just want to crawl in to a hole and disappear forever, for reference I'm a detransitioner/repressor for like 4.5 years now (prev 5ish years on hrt)i also wrote a big letter to myself begging myself to transition even if I don't feel like it in the morning
>>42329050Are you retarded? You have PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU and messaging you, they obviously care. You owe it to yourself to get your ass up and transition again. What did you even fuck up? Detransitioning previously? Yeah, but you can’t change that now. You can only start HRT again and keep it up TODAY.
>>42329050Cute
>>42329050wow, you're legitimately stupid.>i ran a race and got first place>should i run backwards to the starting line?
>>42329050>hate being a man>try to transition so i am no longer a man>repressoid tulpa of john malcovitch or some other random male celebrity says no so i have to go baldgo to therapy so you dont reset your progress agaib
>>42329065I'm way too old now to transition well I think, I think I have to, but I'm scared. even when I first started (19ish) I was too old for how my genetics are, now I'm late 20s lol. Unfortunate thing about repressing hard is it means you never mentally progress because you're constantly masking as something you're not and terrified it will all come crumbling down.Most of my best friends are very typical dudebro masc sports guys (i'm the token flamboyant gay guy I guess) except for a few women friends and 2 gay dudes and the idea of making them play pretend and explain this stuff to them is making me feel sick>>42329067i guess, somebody else deserves it>>42329086story of my life, incredible things always happen to me but I fumble them and self destruct often. i literally detransitioned initially because i started getting mistaken for a woman and it scared me>>42329088therapy never seemed to stick for me but maybe itd be a good idea just to force myself to talk about it outloud to somebody
>>42329050Honestly I feel bad, having to explain transitioning to normies is terrible, I hate them. It's perfectly normal to be scared.>>42329065Most normies do not actually support trans people, they believe they do because that's what they've been taught is the moral thing to do but once they realise there is no real consequence to transphobia they might throw OP under a bus. Like, she should transition anyways but let's not fool ourselves.
>everyone I know... hello... I require newpo pronouns>me need new pronouns>me me me me meI'd groanYou're so braveSo strongUnless your friend hemisphere is full of people discovering identities every annual quarter and this is normal behavior
>>42329140>me me me me meyes, I am a self-hating narcissist and very self obsessed.>Unless your friend hemisphere is full of people discovering identities every annual quarter and this is normal behaviorno it's full of turbo normies, hence the fuck up
>>42329104>therapy never seemed to stick>my learned helplessness made me be annoyingok
>>42329167>my learned helplessness made me be annoyingno thats the probably autism
>>42329050>wrote a big letter to myself begging myself to transition even if I don't feel like itsounds like some kind of DID fuckery
>>42329104>>42329157You sound lovable and nice, just miserable because of your current state
>>42329210Or just any other kind of dissociative disorder. Really common for trannies because growing up dysphoric often leads to dissociation simply to survive.
>>42329180im autistic you ODD shitbag. DO THE WORK
>>42329246sorry :(, probably therapy didn't stick because I'd usually avoid the gender issues and so I spent every therapy session playing it close>>42329225thanks anon, I think I used to be but the last few years I've turned in to a pretty bitter, self obsessed person that uses others. Hopefully I can improve that.>>42329235>>42329210I do have a lot of issues with dissociation but not DiD as far as i knowanyway so im not just using this as a way to talk about my favourite topic (how miserable and cool i definitely am like a tranny dostoevsky character)does anybody have any advice on discussing this stuff with people close to you? I was really fucked up when I sent my messages and I barely remember what they say and I'm terrified to even look but I imagine my friends will have a lot of questions (though its been a running joke forever that i'm trans so desu it might not actually be that shocking)
