>want to transition >start taking hrt>freak out when effects become more noticeable >detransition>want to transition>start taking hrt>freak out when effects become more noticeable>detransition>want to transitionHow do I stop this madness? I must just be retarded atp
>>42331023You need to build courage. It's scary, I know.
>>42331023you're a closet case who's afraid of change. very normal. set an achievable goal and strive for that.
>>42331029I'm insanely afraid that I'll both come to regret even trying, and that I'll develop reverse dysphoria, so much so that I can't tell whether I'm actually ever being reverse dysphoric
>>42331080wont you regret not trying more
>>42331082i tried and regret trying. Im glad I didnt go any further than I did
>>42331080It's cyclical for me. I think part of it really is just fear and guilt.
>>42331082Maybe? Probably. But that doesn't diminish my fear. I really don't know how to not lose my mind over this
Honestly doomed
if i wasnt so alone it wouldnt be so difficult
>>42331174Definitely. At this point I'm just doing this to postpone my long overdue suicide
>>42331040I really hope that's the case, cause when I start freaking while on hrt, it's mostly because I can't stop feeling like I'm actually an insane cis man, and that I'm giving myself dysphoria by taking hrt, no matter how much I don't want to be a man
>>42331023theres nothing you can do, im like this with many things, jobs, choosing what to study.>want a job>go to interview>freak out when rejected or accepted>give up>want to learn something>find resource/degree/course>freak out when seeing the workload>give up>want more friends>find someone willing to meet>freak out at the thought of them rejecting or disliking me>give up
>>42331082kierkegaard was right about everything, do or dont do it, you will regret it either way. there is always something to regret because by choosing anything you give up on all the alternatives. this has been my lifelong problem and why i have never been able to commit to anything
