ever since i had my prog dose increased ive been having this recurring thought of>i wish i couldve been okay living as a guyi was good at it but i couldnt manage it mentally and now im happier and able to contend with life but im also sad that i was born this waytrying your best but not succeeding is a terrible thing
>>42333004It's a fair thought nona. Sometimes I wish I was a boy because life as a little faglet sounds nice and it's closer to my ideal than the kind of tall/athletic shoulderhon build I have.
>>42333020this is where i typically diverge from othersi was good at being a "man"if i lacked the wherewithal to change i couldve been a proper john 50i wish i couldve lived as a man proper but embodying masculinity makes me feel sick to my stomach and drove me into suicide attemptsi had other men saying they admired me, that they looked up to me, but i couldnt keep the charade goingthat was years ago now, what feels like a lifetime ago, and while im happy and successful socially there is still that cold, ambient feeling that i was born "wrong"im glad i could transition successfully and that i can go day to day without being misgendered, with a successful romantic life, with supportive friends and i can accomplish goalsbut i wish i couldve made being a man work, and no amount of working out, fighting, military service or anything else helped
